Chapter Eleven.
Page 326 of 365.
On Trust Issue.
Segampang apa kalian percaya sama keluarga kalian?
Segampang apa kalian percaya sama temen - temen kalian?
Segampang apa kalian percaya sama orang lain?
Segampang apa kalian percaya sama diri kalian sendiri?
Buat gue, jawabannya adalah susah.
Ya, susah untuk percaya sama diri sendiri, apalagi orang lain.
Mungkin ini emang sifat bawaan gue dari lahir.
Mungkin juga ini hasil dari akumulasi pengalaman gue dikecewakan oleh orang lain.
Yang bikin keselnya adalah gue orang yang seringkali butuh pendapat orang lain saat mempertimbangkan sesuatu.
But i'm not really sure whether they are telling the truth or just their opinion.
But i keep on insisting to hear it.
Though i know that it's not always necessary.
Masalahnya ada di diri gue sendiri.
Ketidakpercayaan gue sama diri gue sendiri membuat gue hampir selalu meragukan setiap keputusan yang udah gue buat.
Hal ini membuat gue butuh pendapat orang lain.
Tapi gue juga hampir selalu gak percaya pendapat orang lain.
Terutama yang pendapatnya gak sesuai sama pemikiran gue.
Yang membuat gue berpikir sendiri tapi gue juga gak terlalu percaya sama pendapat gue sendiri.
Dan siklus ini berlanjut terus bak lingkaran setan.
(Gue gak tau siapa penemu frase lingkaran setan. Gue cuma mikir aja kenapa harus ngambil lingkarannya si setan bukan lingkarannya Budi.)
Untuk hal - hal tertentu sebenernya gampang.
Kalau pendapat gue dan opini orang lain sama, biasanya gue akan langsung setuju aja.
Yang rada ribet kalau beda nih.
Bukan tentang benar atau salah.
Cuma tentang suka atau enggak.
Gue suka satu aktivitas tertentu yang gak melanggar Perintah Tuhan ataupun Undang - Undang Dasar ataupun merugikan harkat hidup orang banyak.
Tapi hampir semua orang yang gue hormati gak memberikan opini positif ketika gue tanya.
Mereka gak kasih opini negatif juga sih.
Mereka cuma jawab, "Oke."
Padahal kalian berharap mereka akan jawab sesuatu yang lebih panjang dan bermakna jelas selain sebuah oke.
Rasanya pengen kasih mereka bunga.
Bunganya dilempar.
Sama potnya juga.
Dari lantai 15.
Sama Ade Rai.
Sesuatu yang gue anggap penting ternyata gak begitu penting buat mereka.
Gue:
Gue mau jadi penyanyi dangdut ah.
Orang lain (yang mereka omongin):
Oke.
Orang lain (yang gue tangkep dan gue hampir yakin 100% ini sebenernya maksud mereka):
Oke, lu fix udah gila. Jangankan nyanyi, napas aja sumbang. Jangankan suruh joged, lu bedain kiri kanan aja gak bisa. Sana kembali nulis puisi - puisi galau aja.
Oke, ini ilustrasi aja. Gue gak berencana mengubah karir keartisan gue jadi penyanyi dangdut tapi kalau ada agensi yang berminat, bisa hubungin gue di email gue..
Anyway.
Yah gitu deh maksud gue.
Kadang apa yang lu yakinin gak sesuai sama pendapat orang. Karena yang penting bukan pendapat orang. Bukan juga pendapat lu sendiri.
Yang penting adalah apa pendapat Tuhan tentang elu karena Dia tau kalian luar dalem dan masih terima kalian apa adanya.
Siapa yang berani kaya begitu?
Gue rasa orang tua gue juga gak segitunya. Kalau gue ada salah, mereka pasti kecewa tapi mereka terima gue apa adanya.
Tapi Tuhan enggak. Kalau gue ada salah, Dia terima gue apa adanya karena identitas gue bukan ditentukan sama apa yang gue perbuat. Identitas gue ditentukan sama apa kata Dia tentang gue. Dan yang gue tau, Dia bilang gue adalah anak kesayangannya.
So i choose to trust Him.
Kalau di waktu lain kalian ragu - ragu, kalian takut, kalian bingung harus percaya sama siapa, gue sih saranin percaya sama Tuhan aja. Jangan sama diri sendiri, jangan sama orang lain, itu namanya musyrik.
Semoga tulisan ini jadi berkat buat kalian.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Fiction
Chapter Eleven.
Page 323 of 365.
Fiction.
You are here,
sitting next to me.
Doubts disappear,
my heart's full of glee.
You are mine,
for longer than forever.
I don't need any sign,
it's almost happily ever after.
You love me,
just like the way it should be.
I'm so happy,
as happy as i can be.
This is perfect.
This is what we always hope for.
This is too good to be true.
This is not going to happen in this lifetime.
So i wake up and mourning over my lost.
Page 323 of 365.
Fiction.
You are here,
sitting next to me.
Doubts disappear,
my heart's full of glee.
You are mine,
for longer than forever.
I don't need any sign,
it's almost happily ever after.
You love me,
just like the way it should be.
I'm so happy,
as happy as i can be.
This is perfect.
This is what we always hope for.
This is too good to be true.
This is not going to happen in this lifetime.
So i wake up and mourning over my lost.
Friday, November 15, 2013
On Love 2.0
Chapter Eleven.
Page 319 of 365.
On Love 2.0
Kapan terakhir kali kalian jatuh cinta?
Kapan terakhir kali kalian cuma mikirin satu orang itu terus sampai lupa sama yang lain?
Kapan terakhir kali kalian gak bisa tidur karena udah gak sabar buat ketemu orang itu besok paginya?
Kapan terakhir kali kalian gugup setengah mati karena mau ketemu dia tapi di saat yang bersamaan, kalian seneng setengah mati?
Kapan terakhir kali kalian bener - bener jatuh cinta?
Apa kalian pernah tanpa sadar ngedengerin lagu - lagu yang gak pernah kalian denger karena kalian tau kalau si dia suka sama lagu itu?
Apa kalian pernah nonton film yang gak kalian suka hanya karena si dia bilang film itu bagus?
Apa kalian pernah tiba - tiba ngelakuin hal - hal yang gak kalian suka cuma karena si dia bilang hal itu keren?
Ya, kalian pasti pernah jatuh cinta.
Gak ada yang pernah salah dengan jatuh cinta.
Satu - satunya yang salah adalah ketika kita salah pilih objek untuk jadi pelabuhan cinta kita.
Kita sering menyalahartikan perasaan lain dengan cinta.
Bisa aja sebenernya kita cuma kagum.
Atau malah terharu ngeliat kelakuan dia.
Atau cuma sekedar suka penampilannya.
Kecuali kalau lu suka sama penampilan SNSD.
Enggak, itu beneran namanya cinta.
Kesalahan yang terakhir adalah kesalahan umum yang sering dilakukan anak muda.
Karena mereka terpatok dengan konsep dari mata turun ke hati.
Apa yang enak dilihat, pasti juga enak untuk dijadiin pacar.
Beberapa waktu yang lalu, gue liat salah satu temen gue posting foto di Path yang kurang lebih intinya begini:
Kalau penampilan fisik yang membuatmu jatuh cinta, bagaimana kamu mencintai Tuhan yang tidak berwujud?
Tiba - tiba gue kepikiran aja.
Bener juga ya.
Kita gak bisa lihat Tuhan tapi kita cinta Tuhan.
Seenggaknya, gue sih cinta Tuhan gue.
Gak tau kalian gimana.
Ada satu kutipan dari salah satu film cinta - cintaan favorit gue yang judulnya cin(T)a:
"Pacar saya harus lebih cinta sama Tuhannya dibanding sama saya. Kalau dia bisa gak setia sama Tuhannya, gimana dia bisa setia sama saya?"
(Kurang lebih sih ingetan gue begini ye, maaf kalo terjadi kesalahan pengutipan.)
Apakah kita udah pernah menjadikan standar keimanan sebagai patokan kita cari pacar?
Kalau pertanyaan ini gue lemparkan ke temen - temen gue, kayanya semua bakal jawab iya.
Tapi kenyataan yang gue dapet enggak begitu sih.
Dan sejujurnya, iya emang rada susah sih.
Coba bayangin, kalian pilih mana:
Emma Stone tapi gak taat beragama
atau
(Isi bagian ini dengan orang yang berwajah biasa aja) tapi taat beragama?
Semua pria berpikiran lurus dan bermata jernih pasti pilih Emma Stone. Gue juga sih.
Itulah susahnya hidup dengan indera penglihatan yang menjadi patokan utama kita.
Jadi, apa intinya tulisan kali ini?
Gue cuma mau ngajak mikir aja.
Apakah kita udah belajar mencintai Tuhan yang tak berwujud secara serius?
Karena kalau jawabannya adalah iya, kalian gak akan melihat orang lain dari tampak luarnya aja.
Kalian gak akan gak setia sama pacar kalian.
Kalian gak akan gak hormat sama orang tua kalian.
Kalian gak akan gak mengasihi orang lain.
Kenapa?
Karena jatuh cinta sama Tuhan adalah jatuh cinta dengan kasih yang paling sempurna.
Yang gak egois.
Yang gak licik.
Yang gak mikirin diri sendiri.
Yang gak bersenang - senang di atas penderitaan orang lain.
Yang gak lain di mulut, lain di hati.
Karena ketika kita jatuh cinta, segala sesuatunya berubah.
Apakah kita udah bener - bener jatuh cinta sama Tuhan?
Apakah kita udah bener - bener gak pikirin hal lain selain berusaha menyenangkan hati Tuhan?
Apakah kita udah bener - bener belajar untuk gak ngelakuin apa yang Dia gak suka?
Atau kita cuma sekedar suka sama Tuhan?
Have a great weekend.
Page 319 of 365.
On Love 2.0
Kapan terakhir kali kalian jatuh cinta?
Kapan terakhir kali kalian cuma mikirin satu orang itu terus sampai lupa sama yang lain?
Kapan terakhir kali kalian gak bisa tidur karena udah gak sabar buat ketemu orang itu besok paginya?
Kapan terakhir kali kalian gugup setengah mati karena mau ketemu dia tapi di saat yang bersamaan, kalian seneng setengah mati?
Kapan terakhir kali kalian bener - bener jatuh cinta?
Apa kalian pernah tanpa sadar ngedengerin lagu - lagu yang gak pernah kalian denger karena kalian tau kalau si dia suka sama lagu itu?
Apa kalian pernah nonton film yang gak kalian suka hanya karena si dia bilang film itu bagus?
Apa kalian pernah tiba - tiba ngelakuin hal - hal yang gak kalian suka cuma karena si dia bilang hal itu keren?
Ya, kalian pasti pernah jatuh cinta.
Gak ada yang pernah salah dengan jatuh cinta.
Satu - satunya yang salah adalah ketika kita salah pilih objek untuk jadi pelabuhan cinta kita.
Kita sering menyalahartikan perasaan lain dengan cinta.
Bisa aja sebenernya kita cuma kagum.
Atau malah terharu ngeliat kelakuan dia.
Atau cuma sekedar suka penampilannya.
Kecuali kalau lu suka sama penampilan SNSD.
Enggak, itu beneran namanya cinta.
Kesalahan yang terakhir adalah kesalahan umum yang sering dilakukan anak muda.
Karena mereka terpatok dengan konsep dari mata turun ke hati.
Apa yang enak dilihat, pasti juga enak untuk dijadiin pacar.
Beberapa waktu yang lalu, gue liat salah satu temen gue posting foto di Path yang kurang lebih intinya begini:
Kalau penampilan fisik yang membuatmu jatuh cinta, bagaimana kamu mencintai Tuhan yang tidak berwujud?
Tiba - tiba gue kepikiran aja.
Bener juga ya.
Kita gak bisa lihat Tuhan tapi kita cinta Tuhan.
Seenggaknya, gue sih cinta Tuhan gue.
Gak tau kalian gimana.
Ada satu kutipan dari salah satu film cinta - cintaan favorit gue yang judulnya cin(T)a:
"Pacar saya harus lebih cinta sama Tuhannya dibanding sama saya. Kalau dia bisa gak setia sama Tuhannya, gimana dia bisa setia sama saya?"
(Kurang lebih sih ingetan gue begini ye, maaf kalo terjadi kesalahan pengutipan.)
Apakah kita udah pernah menjadikan standar keimanan sebagai patokan kita cari pacar?
Kalau pertanyaan ini gue lemparkan ke temen - temen gue, kayanya semua bakal jawab iya.
Tapi kenyataan yang gue dapet enggak begitu sih.
Dan sejujurnya, iya emang rada susah sih.
Coba bayangin, kalian pilih mana:
Emma Stone tapi gak taat beragama
atau
(Isi bagian ini dengan orang yang berwajah biasa aja) tapi taat beragama?
Semua pria berpikiran lurus dan bermata jernih pasti pilih Emma Stone. Gue juga sih.
Itulah susahnya hidup dengan indera penglihatan yang menjadi patokan utama kita.
Jadi, apa intinya tulisan kali ini?
Gue cuma mau ngajak mikir aja.
Apakah kita udah belajar mencintai Tuhan yang tak berwujud secara serius?
Karena kalau jawabannya adalah iya, kalian gak akan melihat orang lain dari tampak luarnya aja.
Kalian gak akan gak setia sama pacar kalian.
Kalian gak akan gak hormat sama orang tua kalian.
Kalian gak akan gak mengasihi orang lain.
Kenapa?
Karena jatuh cinta sama Tuhan adalah jatuh cinta dengan kasih yang paling sempurna.
Yang gak egois.
Yang gak licik.
Yang gak mikirin diri sendiri.
Yang gak bersenang - senang di atas penderitaan orang lain.
Yang gak lain di mulut, lain di hati.
Karena ketika kita jatuh cinta, segala sesuatunya berubah.
Apakah kita udah bener - bener jatuh cinta sama Tuhan?
Apakah kita udah bener - bener gak pikirin hal lain selain berusaha menyenangkan hati Tuhan?
Apakah kita udah bener - bener belajar untuk gak ngelakuin apa yang Dia gak suka?
Atau kita cuma sekedar suka sama Tuhan?
Have a great weekend.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Satu Hari Lagi
Chapter Eleven.
Page 306 of 365.
Satu Hari Lagi.
Satu hari lewat lagi.
Satu hari yang dihiasi senyummu.
Satu hari yang kamu isi dengan kebahagiaan.
Satu hari yang aku habiskan dengan mengagumimu.
Kadang aku berpikir,
apa yang membuatmu berbeda dari yang lain.
Parasmu yang menarik?
Masih banyak yang lebih menarik dibanding kamu.
Wajahmu yang rupawan?
Ada berjuta - juta orang yang lebih rupawan di luar sana.
Senyummu yang tulus?
Bukan sesuatu yang spesial dibanding orang lain.
Tapi ada sesuatu yang terus menerus menarikku untuk selalu memikirkanmu di setiap napasku.
Dan hari ini aku tau apa itu.
Kamu,
akan selalu berada di luar jangkauanku.
Kamu,
akan selalu hanya menjadi khayalan di siang bolong.
Kamu,
akan selalu menjadi mimpi indah yang tak mungkin menjadi nyata.
Dan hari ini adalah waktunya aku terbangun dari mimpi indah itu.
Namun,
kali ini aku memohon kepadamu
sebuah permintaan sederhana.
Aku meminta satu hari lagi.
Satu hari lagi yang dihiasi senyummu.
Satu hari lagi yang kamu isi dengan kebahagiaan.
Satu hari lagi yang aku habiskan dengan mengagumimu.
Satu hari lagi,
denganmu di sisiku.
Page 306 of 365.
Satu Hari Lagi.
Satu hari lewat lagi.
Satu hari yang dihiasi senyummu.
Satu hari yang kamu isi dengan kebahagiaan.
Satu hari yang aku habiskan dengan mengagumimu.
Kadang aku berpikir,
apa yang membuatmu berbeda dari yang lain.
Parasmu yang menarik?
Masih banyak yang lebih menarik dibanding kamu.
Wajahmu yang rupawan?
Ada berjuta - juta orang yang lebih rupawan di luar sana.
Senyummu yang tulus?
Bukan sesuatu yang spesial dibanding orang lain.
Tapi ada sesuatu yang terus menerus menarikku untuk selalu memikirkanmu di setiap napasku.
Dan hari ini aku tau apa itu.
Kamu,
akan selalu berada di luar jangkauanku.
Kamu,
akan selalu hanya menjadi khayalan di siang bolong.
Kamu,
akan selalu menjadi mimpi indah yang tak mungkin menjadi nyata.
Dan hari ini adalah waktunya aku terbangun dari mimpi indah itu.
Namun,
kali ini aku memohon kepadamu
sebuah permintaan sederhana.
Aku meminta satu hari lagi.
Satu hari lagi yang dihiasi senyummu.
Satu hari lagi yang kamu isi dengan kebahagiaan.
Satu hari lagi yang aku habiskan dengan mengagumimu.
Satu hari lagi,
denganmu di sisiku.
Labels:
inspiration,
my poems,
passion,
puisi,
satu hari lagi,
thoughts
Thursday, October 17, 2013
On Leaving
Chapter Ten.
Page 290 of 365.
On Leaving.
I'm 21 and never had a chance to move somewhere faraway.
I never had a chance of saying goodbye.
I never had a chance of leaving something behind.
So it's kinda hard for me to move on.
But now,
i have to.
And it's the hardest thing to do.
Almost impossible.
Because i always thought moving on means you forgot everything.
How can you forget someone who gives you so much to remember?
I'm trying.
And take that baby steps.
The first day i decided to leave everything behind was disastrous.
Everything, every small little thing reminds me of J.
And i felt stupid.
How can you miss something you never had?
My friend tell me to stop entertaining the memories.
I'm not.
It just happens.
Today is the second day.
I come to a realization that it's what best for us.
I have to learn to let go of everything in order to gain something better.
Was it easy?
Nope.
But i know this is what i have to do.
This is the consequence i have to bear.
I found a picture of J just now.
And when i look at it, i just thought:
There you go, J.
No hurt feeling,
No longing feeling.
Just a used-to feeling.
I was scared that someday i'm going to forget about J.
I was scared that someday someone's going to be as valuable as J to me.
Now, i'm not so sure.
I feel like i can wait to find that somebody.
Well, i guess this is my first lesson about leaving.
You have to move somewhere in order to leave something behind.
Page 290 of 365.
On Leaving.
I'm 21 and never had a chance to move somewhere faraway.
I never had a chance of saying goodbye.
I never had a chance of leaving something behind.
So it's kinda hard for me to move on.
But now,
i have to.
And it's the hardest thing to do.
Almost impossible.
Because i always thought moving on means you forgot everything.
How can you forget someone who gives you so much to remember?
I'm trying.
And take that baby steps.
The first day i decided to leave everything behind was disastrous.
Everything, every small little thing reminds me of J.
And i felt stupid.
How can you miss something you never had?
My friend tell me to stop entertaining the memories.
I'm not.
It just happens.
Today is the second day.
I come to a realization that it's what best for us.
I have to learn to let go of everything in order to gain something better.
Was it easy?
Nope.
But i know this is what i have to do.
This is the consequence i have to bear.
I found a picture of J just now.
And when i look at it, i just thought:
There you go, J.
No hurt feeling,
No longing feeling.
Just a used-to feeling.
I was scared that someday i'm going to forget about J.
I was scared that someday someone's going to be as valuable as J to me.
Now, i'm not so sure.
I feel like i can wait to find that somebody.
Well, i guess this is my first lesson about leaving.
You have to move somewhere in order to leave something behind.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Another Thought About Secret
Chapter Ten.
Page 289 of 365.
Another Thought About Secret.
What is your secret?
Everytime i go somewhere, whenever i meet people, i think of something: what is your secret?
Because i know the answer will always be a slight nod.
We all have secrets.
We all have something that we keep for ourselves, hoping that no one will find out about it.
Yet we sometimes give our friends clues about our secrets.
We sometimes share a piece of our secrets but never the complete story.
We are scared yet we want to be understood.
Sometimes i hate how i love writing.
Because i can not lie when i write.
I always be honest in my writing and it makes me share my deepest, darkest secret.
Bit by bit.
I told some of my friends a big chunk of my secrets.
I can't tell them the whole story.
It was hurting me to confess that secret.
And i knew that they would never understand but i'm still telling them the half story.
I always try to find someone who understand.
But it's not that easy.
People who have been through my secret tend to isolate themselves, just like me.
Well, some of my friends might tell me that they know me well.
But, actually, no one knows me that well.
Except, you have been through what i'm dealing with.
Sometimes, i found a person or two whom i thought will understand me completely.
But it's not that easy to share something with a total stranger.
Hey, i thought it actually is a good idea.
I prefer to share my secret with a total stranger so that i can feel relieved and don't have to bear the guilt of being judged.
You see, whenever i talk about it, i'm nervous.
I'm not being a good narrator, i skip moments because i have to censor some.
What i'm trying to tell you here is, we all have secrets.
Even when you think your BFF has shared all of his/her secrets with you, he/she still hides something.
It's not because they don't trust you.
Sometimes, it hurts so much for confessing the secret.
Don't push people to share their secrets with you.
Trust is earned, not demanded.
If people want to share their secrets, they will.
And the thing about secret is, it will surprise you.
Well, some facts might not surprise you. Maybe you always thought: yeah, he looks like it..
But really, the story is more complicated than that.
When people share their secrets, just listen for them.
Most people do it for the sake of themselves.
Not to show that they trust you.
They do it just because they will go crazy if they don't.
Yes, it's an honor to be shared a secret but you don't have to solve the problems unless they ask for it.
Be a good secret-keeper.
Don't secretly joke about it in front of your friends.
Really, please don't.
It makes the secret-owner nervous.
Don't we want to just scream and tell our secrets to the world?
I have a better idea.
Why don't i move somewhere faraway where no one knows me and start over new?
It's tempting and i am not over it.
Having a secret is not a choice.
A secret might come as a gift, wrapped in your favorite blue ribbon.
Just like the box of Pandora.
You just can do nothing with it yet it's seducing you to do something.
Having a secret is suck.
I don't think i can hold it any longer.
Page 289 of 365.
Another Thought About Secret.
What is your secret?
Everytime i go somewhere, whenever i meet people, i think of something: what is your secret?
Because i know the answer will always be a slight nod.
We all have secrets.
We all have something that we keep for ourselves, hoping that no one will find out about it.
Yet we sometimes give our friends clues about our secrets.
We sometimes share a piece of our secrets but never the complete story.
We are scared yet we want to be understood.
Sometimes i hate how i love writing.
Because i can not lie when i write.
I always be honest in my writing and it makes me share my deepest, darkest secret.
Bit by bit.
I told some of my friends a big chunk of my secrets.
I can't tell them the whole story.
It was hurting me to confess that secret.
And i knew that they would never understand but i'm still telling them the half story.
I always try to find someone who understand.
But it's not that easy.
People who have been through my secret tend to isolate themselves, just like me.
Well, some of my friends might tell me that they know me well.
But, actually, no one knows me that well.
Except, you have been through what i'm dealing with.
Sometimes, i found a person or two whom i thought will understand me completely.
But it's not that easy to share something with a total stranger.
Hey, i thought it actually is a good idea.
I prefer to share my secret with a total stranger so that i can feel relieved and don't have to bear the guilt of being judged.
You see, whenever i talk about it, i'm nervous.
I'm not being a good narrator, i skip moments because i have to censor some.
What i'm trying to tell you here is, we all have secrets.
Even when you think your BFF has shared all of his/her secrets with you, he/she still hides something.
It's not because they don't trust you.
Sometimes, it hurts so much for confessing the secret.
Don't push people to share their secrets with you.
Trust is earned, not demanded.
If people want to share their secrets, they will.
And the thing about secret is, it will surprise you.
Well, some facts might not surprise you. Maybe you always thought: yeah, he looks like it..
But really, the story is more complicated than that.
When people share their secrets, just listen for them.
Most people do it for the sake of themselves.
Not to show that they trust you.
They do it just because they will go crazy if they don't.
Yes, it's an honor to be shared a secret but you don't have to solve the problems unless they ask for it.
Be a good secret-keeper.
Don't secretly joke about it in front of your friends.
Really, please don't.
It makes the secret-owner nervous.
Don't we want to just scream and tell our secrets to the world?
I have a better idea.
Why don't i move somewhere faraway where no one knows me and start over new?
It's tempting and i am not over it.
Having a secret is not a choice.
A secret might come as a gift, wrapped in your favorite blue ribbon.
Just like the box of Pandora.
You just can do nothing with it yet it's seducing you to do something.
Having a secret is suck.
I don't think i can hold it any longer.
On Surviving Your 20s
Chapter Ten.
Page 289 of 365.
On Surviving Your 20s.
When you are a kid, life is about fun, laugh, cookie, and more fun.
When you are in junior high, life is about experimenting and experiencing new things.
When you are in your teenage years, life is about love, heartbreak, friendship, parent issues, and more heartbreaks.
But as soon as you realize you're not a teen-ager anymore (and yes, 20 is not a teenager, d'oh), you are stumbling your way on finding out about life itself.
When you are in 20-something, life is about finding the reason why you exist.
I'm not an expert yet, but i think i can share some tips on surviving your 20s. (I'm 21, duh, it's like i'm experiencing 2 years of my 20s. I'm a soon-to-be expert, at least.)
1. Realize that time is ticking faster than you think
When you're in your 20, whether you're in college or in marketplace, life doesn't count as days, but as moments. Use your ultimate resources wisely. No, your ultimate resources is not money, it's time. You can lost your money and you can get it back. It doesn't apply for your time.
Stop procrastinating. Stop thinking you have unlimited resources of time. Truth: you might be young, but never be too young to die.
And stop lying that you do any good for yourself by taking a rest. Well, taking a rest is good for your body but watching 8 hours straight Korean variety show is not. Go and make your momma proud.
2. It's time to answer the questions about life
As i mentioned earlier, 20-something is about answering the ultimate question: what are you going to do with your life?
Many people are having hard times answering it. They think that finding out your purpose means there is a sound from heaven telling you to do a great thing to change the world. While i believe there is some people who heard that sound from above, most of us can't wait for the God's whisper.
Deep down inside, you know what you have to do with your life. You're just scared to state it out loud. You're scared that you might not enjoy it. Well, guess what? You can always change your life's direction.
Find out what you love to do and start from there. And please, use your brain. No matter how happy you are when you are shopping around the malls, you can not have swiping the visa card as your calling.
3. Eliminate
Now you know that time is ticking away and you have a calling for your life but now you wonder: how on earth i could possibly do all this stuff and maintaining my relationship with friends, family, and myself?
Simple: eliminate.
Just because you are doing it for years, doesn't mean you have to continually do it. If it doesn't make you happy, why bother? Your family dinner every Friday and meeting some relatives that just talking sh- about your life? Skip it. A bunch of friends who talk about others behind their back? Dump them. Your so-called me time that includes surfing on the internet all day long? Cancel it and go to bookstore instead.
You are responsible for your mental health. When you have a solid reason of not doing something, then don't do it. The only person you have to make him happy is yourself.
4. Be grateful
You live in the most-sophisticated era of human history. We have 4G internet, laptop, smartphone, airplane, and Girls' Generation. That should be enough.
Even so, you are doing better than half of the world population now. You are not in a war, you're alive, you can read, you have internet access to this awesome blog, you have friends and family eventhough some of them are annoying, and you have a shelter and food to eat. Now tell me how a heartbreak could ruin your life...
5. Enjoy life
Being in you 20s is being in your best years. I always thought that teenage year is your best time but it's not. You made stupid decisions on your teenage years. 20s are your second season of the teenage years and just like all the TV shows, second season is always the best.
Now, hit the life.
Page 289 of 365.
On Surviving Your 20s.
When you are a kid, life is about fun, laugh, cookie, and more fun.
When you are in junior high, life is about experimenting and experiencing new things.
When you are in your teenage years, life is about love, heartbreak, friendship, parent issues, and more heartbreaks.
But as soon as you realize you're not a teen-ager anymore (and yes, 20 is not a teenager, d'oh), you are stumbling your way on finding out about life itself.
When you are in 20-something, life is about finding the reason why you exist.
I'm not an expert yet, but i think i can share some tips on surviving your 20s. (I'm 21, duh, it's like i'm experiencing 2 years of my 20s. I'm a soon-to-be expert, at least.)
1. Realize that time is ticking faster than you think
When you're in your 20, whether you're in college or in marketplace, life doesn't count as days, but as moments. Use your ultimate resources wisely. No, your ultimate resources is not money, it's time. You can lost your money and you can get it back. It doesn't apply for your time.
Stop procrastinating. Stop thinking you have unlimited resources of time. Truth: you might be young, but never be too young to die.
And stop lying that you do any good for yourself by taking a rest. Well, taking a rest is good for your body but watching 8 hours straight Korean variety show is not. Go and make your momma proud.
2. It's time to answer the questions about life
As i mentioned earlier, 20-something is about answering the ultimate question: what are you going to do with your life?
Many people are having hard times answering it. They think that finding out your purpose means there is a sound from heaven telling you to do a great thing to change the world. While i believe there is some people who heard that sound from above, most of us can't wait for the God's whisper.
Deep down inside, you know what you have to do with your life. You're just scared to state it out loud. You're scared that you might not enjoy it. Well, guess what? You can always change your life's direction.
Find out what you love to do and start from there. And please, use your brain. No matter how happy you are when you are shopping around the malls, you can not have swiping the visa card as your calling.
3. Eliminate
Now you know that time is ticking away and you have a calling for your life but now you wonder: how on earth i could possibly do all this stuff and maintaining my relationship with friends, family, and myself?
Simple: eliminate.
Just because you are doing it for years, doesn't mean you have to continually do it. If it doesn't make you happy, why bother? Your family dinner every Friday and meeting some relatives that just talking sh- about your life? Skip it. A bunch of friends who talk about others behind their back? Dump them. Your so-called me time that includes surfing on the internet all day long? Cancel it and go to bookstore instead.
You are responsible for your mental health. When you have a solid reason of not doing something, then don't do it. The only person you have to make him happy is yourself.
4. Be grateful
You live in the most-sophisticated era of human history. We have 4G internet, laptop, smartphone, airplane, and Girls' Generation. That should be enough.
Even so, you are doing better than half of the world population now. You are not in a war, you're alive, you can read, you have internet access to this awesome blog, you have friends and family eventhough some of them are annoying, and you have a shelter and food to eat. Now tell me how a heartbreak could ruin your life...
5. Enjoy life
Being in you 20s is being in your best years. I always thought that teenage year is your best time but it's not. You made stupid decisions on your teenage years. 20s are your second season of the teenage years and just like all the TV shows, second season is always the best.
Now, hit the life.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Menghapus Jejakmu
Chapter Ten.
Page 287 of 365.
Menghapus Jejakmu.
Di situ,
ku lihat lagi jejakmu
pada setiap tawa yang aku dengar.
Sebuah kebahagiaan yang terekam jelas di telingaku,
yang selalu aku rasakan saat bersamamu.
Aku mencoba menghapus jejakmu dari pikiranku.
Kali ini, sekuat tenaga.
Namun,
ku lihat lagi jejakmu
di setiap tangan yang bergandengan.
Sebuah rasa sayang yang terpancar kuat di hatiku
yang selalu aku simpan hanya untukmu.
Aku mencoba menghapus jejakmu dari pikiranku.
Kali ini, sepenuh hati.
Sayangnya,
ku lihat lagi jejakmu
pada setiap tetes air mata yang aku lihat.
Sebuah kesedihan mendalam yang terasa menusuk
yang selalu aku bawa karena mengenalmu.
Aku mencoba menghapus jejakmu dari pikiranku.
Kali ini, untuk selamanya.
Page 287 of 365.
Menghapus Jejakmu.
Di situ,
ku lihat lagi jejakmu
pada setiap tawa yang aku dengar.
Sebuah kebahagiaan yang terekam jelas di telingaku,
yang selalu aku rasakan saat bersamamu.
Aku mencoba menghapus jejakmu dari pikiranku.
Kali ini, sekuat tenaga.
Namun,
ku lihat lagi jejakmu
di setiap tangan yang bergandengan.
Sebuah rasa sayang yang terpancar kuat di hatiku
yang selalu aku simpan hanya untukmu.
Aku mencoba menghapus jejakmu dari pikiranku.
Kali ini, sepenuh hati.
Sayangnya,
ku lihat lagi jejakmu
pada setiap tetes air mata yang aku lihat.
Sebuah kesedihan mendalam yang terasa menusuk
yang selalu aku bawa karena mengenalmu.
Aku mencoba menghapus jejakmu dari pikiranku.
Kali ini, untuk selamanya.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Happy Birthday
Chapter Ten.
Page 286 of 365.
Happy Birthday!
"Happy birthday, you!
Enjoy another year of God's favor and goodness.
Jesus loves you."
That was my template for birthday-wishes. Biasanya kalau yang ulang taun itu temen deket, gue akan merelakan sedikit waktu untuk bikin wishes yang specially custom made buat dia. Ucapan ini gue biasa kasih untuk temen yang gak terlalu deket untuk gue kasih ucapan yang personal tapi karena kenal jadinya gak enak kalau gak ngucapin.
If you're my loyal readers, if i have any, mungkin kalian bertanya - tanya kenapa post kali ini bukan puisi sedih yang bikin pengen iris - iris nadi sambil dengerin To Make You Feel My Love versi Ka Sid. Jawabannya adalah karena ini hari spesial untuk beberapa orang di dunia karena hari ini mereka ulang tahun.
Salah satunya adalah J.
Buat yang belum tahu siapa itu J yang sering saya sebut di sini, boleh buka post dulu - dulu. Pokoknya, kalau post itu bikin sedih, inspirasinya adalah si makhluk berinisial J ini.
The story between me and J is kind of funny tapi cerita ini masih jadi rahasia saya dengan Tuhan saja. Even some people yang saya ceritain tentang J, belum saya kasih tau cerita lengkapnya. :)
Yang perlu kalian tahu adalah J sudah jadi semangat saya untuk berbagi berbagai sisi dari sebuah perasaan manis yang mungkin dimiliki antara dua orang anak manusia.
J adalah alasan saya untuk memulai menulis puisi - puisi sedih yang depressing walaupun beberapa orang bilang bagus.
J adalah orang yang berhasil membuat saya merasakan senang, sedih, marah, dan berbagai macam emosi yang bisa dirasakan seorang remaja polos berusia 19 tahun waktu itu.
J adalah pelajaran berharga saya.
Hari ini, 13 Oktober, adalah ulang tahun J.
Saya hampir tidak mungkin mengucapkan pesan ulang tahun buat dia tapi saya masih tetap mau mengucapkan beberapa pesan buat dia.
"Hai, J.
Selamat ulang tahun.
Semoga tahun ini jadi tahun yang baik buat kamu. Buat pekerjaan, buat keluarga, buat kehidupan sosialnya, buat hobi kamu, buat relationship kamu juga. I will always hope better than the best for you.
Terima kasih sudah mengajarkan saya banyak hal. Walaupun tidak mudah buat saya menerimanya, tapi saya bersyukur kalau kamu sudah mau membuat saya membuka mata kepada kenyataan.
Banyak yang mau saya sampaikan tapi saya tidak tahu harus mulai dari mana. Kalau tentang kamu, saya tidak pernah bisa berkata - kata dengan baik karena saya belum bisa menjelaskan keindahanmu dengan 26 huruf saja.
Terima kasih, sekali lagi.
Happy birthday, J."
Dengan ucapan ini, saya mau mengabarkan bahwa saya telah memutuskan untuk tidak mengingat J lagi. Kali ini bukan janji. Ini keputusan. Keputusan yang sulit tapi saya akan terus fokus untuk menjalankannya. Jadi, maafkan saya kalau ke depannya mungkin tidak akan ada puisi sedih dengan gejolak hati yang mendalam seperti sebelumnya. Inspirasi utama saya sudah saya pindahkan dari pikiran saya.
Cheers.
Labels:
13 oktober,
blue,
happy birthday,
inspiration,
poems,
puisi,
red,
ulang tahun
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Voluntarily Trapped
Chapter Ten.
Page 283 of 365.
Voluntarily Trapped.
I'm voluntarily trapped in the name of love.
Dancing my way out to go deeper.
Singing my heart out to harm more.
I'm voluntarily trapped in the scent of romance.
Loving the feeling of being sentimental.
Embracing the truth of being deceitful.
I'm voluntarily trapped in the touch of delight.
Enjoy every minute of your lies.
Relish every moment of my sorrow.
I'm voluntarily trapped in the flavor of passion.
Tasting your harshness with a spoonful of sugar.
Sampling the heart-break on a silver platter.
I'm voluntarily trapped by you.
And i'm willing to do it more often.
Page 283 of 365.
Voluntarily Trapped.
I'm voluntarily trapped in the name of love.
Dancing my way out to go deeper.
Singing my heart out to harm more.
I'm voluntarily trapped in the scent of romance.
Loving the feeling of being sentimental.
Embracing the truth of being deceitful.
I'm voluntarily trapped in the touch of delight.
Enjoy every minute of your lies.
Relish every moment of my sorrow.
I'm voluntarily trapped in the flavor of passion.
Tasting your harshness with a spoonful of sugar.
Sampling the heart-break on a silver platter.
I'm voluntarily trapped by you.
And i'm willing to do it more often.
Labels:
baju biru,
blue shirt,
love poem,
lyrics,
my poems,
passion,
puisi,
si baju biru
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Another Story About The Blue Shirt, Again
Chapter Nine.
Page 267 of 365.
Another Story About The Blue Shirt, Again.
I don't know why i want to write about this person almost everyday.
I'm trying to figure out the answer and find it, finally:
The Blue Shirt makes me happy and i want you to feel this kind of happiness.
Yesterday,
we were sitting close.
We've been sitting next to each other so it's not the closest we've ever been.
But yesterday was different.
It was the best view for me to look at you.
I always feel the funny feeling whenever i look at you.
A feeling of longing, loving, and pure joy.
And then, we started to steal glances last night.
If that was a dream, that was the sweetest dream i ever had.
It's not an ordinary night where i'm hopelessly-staring-at-you.
We finally stole glances.
Happiness.
I always knew that you're funny.
And when you made the whole class laughed yesterday because of your silly joke..
It's cute.
Uber cute.
You just give me another reason to fall for you deeper.
And when i think you couldn't impress me more,
you proved me wrong.
That moment when you didn't laugh at the teacher's inappropriate joke and you frowned because you didn't think it's something to be laughed on..
I'm amazed.
I'm impressed.
I feel like i have the right person to give the privilege for breaking my heart.
"Yes, it would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you."
See you tonight.
Page 267 of 365.
Another Story About The Blue Shirt, Again.
I don't know why i want to write about this person almost everyday.
I'm trying to figure out the answer and find it, finally:
The Blue Shirt makes me happy and i want you to feel this kind of happiness.
Yesterday,
we were sitting close.
We've been sitting next to each other so it's not the closest we've ever been.
But yesterday was different.
It was the best view for me to look at you.
I always feel the funny feeling whenever i look at you.
A feeling of longing, loving, and pure joy.
And then, we started to steal glances last night.
If that was a dream, that was the sweetest dream i ever had.
It's not an ordinary night where i'm hopelessly-staring-at-you.
We finally stole glances.
Happiness.
I always knew that you're funny.
And when you made the whole class laughed yesterday because of your silly joke..
It's cute.
Uber cute.
You just give me another reason to fall for you deeper.
And when i think you couldn't impress me more,
you proved me wrong.
That moment when you didn't laugh at the teacher's inappropriate joke and you frowned because you didn't think it's something to be laughed on..
I'm amazed.
I'm impressed.
I feel like i have the right person to give the privilege for breaking my heart.
"Yes, it would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you."
See you tonight.
Labels:
baju biru,
blue shirt,
love,
love poem,
my poems,
si baju biru
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Anomali Baju Biru
Chapter Nine.
Page 262 of 365.
Anomali Baju Biru.
Halo, Baju Biru.
Terima kasih karena sampai hari ini kamu selalu memakai baju biru ke kelas.
Though i believe you always look great with whatever you're wearing, i love you in blue.
Kemarin, saya senang.
Karena untuk pertama kalinya kita duduk bersebelahan, hanya dipisahkan oleh jarak sejauh beberapa puluh sentimeter.
The moment you were walking to the class yesterday, smiling, and chose to sit right next to me is the moment that i knew i have completely fallen for you.
Rasanya senang karena saya bisa lebih sering melirik ke arah anda.
Rasanya bahagia karena entah apa alasannya, anda memilih duduk di hampir sebelah saya.
Rasanya sedih juga karena saya tau ini hanya ada di pikiran saya.
Lalu, momen yang menyakitkan itu pun dimulai.
Saat anda membuka dompet anda dan saya melihat foto - foto yang ada di dompet anda.
Ya, rasanya sakit.
Semakin hari, saya terdengar semakin bodoh, ya?
Kenapa anda harus sebegitu berartinya bagi saya?
Kenapa saya harus sakit hati setiap saya menyadari kenyataan?
Kenapa?
Semoga semua pertanyaan saya cepat terjawab.
Terima kasih, sekali lagi, karena membuat saya tersenyum satu malam lagi.
Si Baju Abu Abu.
Page 262 of 365.
Anomali Baju Biru.
Halo, Baju Biru.
Terima kasih karena sampai hari ini kamu selalu memakai baju biru ke kelas.
Though i believe you always look great with whatever you're wearing, i love you in blue.
Kemarin, saya senang.
Karena untuk pertama kalinya kita duduk bersebelahan, hanya dipisahkan oleh jarak sejauh beberapa puluh sentimeter.
The moment you were walking to the class yesterday, smiling, and chose to sit right next to me is the moment that i knew i have completely fallen for you.
Rasanya senang karena saya bisa lebih sering melirik ke arah anda.
Rasanya bahagia karena entah apa alasannya, anda memilih duduk di hampir sebelah saya.
Rasanya sedih juga karena saya tau ini hanya ada di pikiran saya.
Lalu, momen yang menyakitkan itu pun dimulai.
Saat anda membuka dompet anda dan saya melihat foto - foto yang ada di dompet anda.
Ya, rasanya sakit.
Semakin hari, saya terdengar semakin bodoh, ya?
Kenapa anda harus sebegitu berartinya bagi saya?
Kenapa saya harus sakit hati setiap saya menyadari kenyataan?
Kenapa?
Semoga semua pertanyaan saya cepat terjawab.
Terima kasih, sekali lagi, karena membuat saya tersenyum satu malam lagi.
Si Baju Abu Abu.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Kejutan Si Baju Biru
Chapter Nine.
Page 259 of 365.
Kejutan Si Baju Biru.
Halo, Baju Biru.
Hari ini anda berhasil membuat saya sebal dengan anda.
Ini dikarenakan akumulasi dari labil di kudeta hati ini. Biar saya jabarkan lebih lanjut lagi.
Pertama, saya tau ini bukan sepenuhnya salah anda, saya menemukan fakta bahwa anda telah ada yang punya. Dan sayangnya, saya selalu menghormati hubungan orang lain.
Itu yang membuat saya sebal.
Kepada anda.
Kepada orang yang memiliki anda.
Kepada diri saya sendiri.
Kepada waktu yang tidak tepat.
Anda harus tahu bagaimana sakitnya mengetahui fakta ini buat saya. Bayangkan anda ditabrak mobil pemadam kebakaran dan kalikan rasa sakit itu 1000 kali lipat. Itu baru seperseratus rasa sakit yang saya alami. Saya kaget mengapa saya masih bisa hidup.
Kedua, hari ini anda telat datang ke kelas. Anda datang 15 menit sebelum kelas selesai. Sepanjang kelas, saya takut. Saya takut tidak melihat anda hari itu. Saya takut anda mungkin sakit. Saya lebih takut dengan fakta mungkin anda sedang pergi bersama dengan dia.
Lalu, 15 menit sebelum kelas selesai, berdirilah makhluk Tuhan yang hampir sempurna di depan kelas. Dengan napas terputus - putus. Dengan senyummu yang memukau seperti biasa, anda dengan tenangnya menyalahkan macet Jakarta untuk alasan keterlambatan anda.
Ketiga, anda tidak menganggap saya hari ini. Mungkin karena anda masih belum menyadari eksistensi hidup saya di hidup anda. Tapi saya merasa tambah sakit hari ini karena anda menyapa orang di sebelah saya dan bukannya saya.
Kenapa?
Apakah anda tidak tahu ada orang yang peduli dengan anda disini?
Kali ini, anda kelewatan dan saya marah.
Ya, saya marah.
Saya marah karena anda membuat saya khawatir.
Saya marah karena saya memikirkan anda padahal saya bukanlah siapa - siapa.
Saya marah karena anda tidak menganggap saya ada.
Saya marah karena anda tidak mengetahui perasaan saya.
Saya marah karena saya peduli terhadap anda.
Saya marah karena walaupun anda membuat saya kesal hari ini, saya tetap menyukai anda.
Saya marah karena perasaan ini.
Sekian surat dari saya kali ini.
Semoga anda cepat putus lalu menyadari kehadiran saya dan kita bisa hidup bahagia berdua dengan latar belakang matahari tenggelam.
Salam,
Si Baju Abu - Abu.
Page 259 of 365.
Kejutan Si Baju Biru.
Halo, Baju Biru.
Hari ini anda berhasil membuat saya sebal dengan anda.
Ini dikarenakan akumulasi dari labil di kudeta hati ini. Biar saya jabarkan lebih lanjut lagi.
Pertama, saya tau ini bukan sepenuhnya salah anda, saya menemukan fakta bahwa anda telah ada yang punya. Dan sayangnya, saya selalu menghormati hubungan orang lain.
Itu yang membuat saya sebal.
Kepada anda.
Kepada orang yang memiliki anda.
Kepada diri saya sendiri.
Kepada waktu yang tidak tepat.
Anda harus tahu bagaimana sakitnya mengetahui fakta ini buat saya. Bayangkan anda ditabrak mobil pemadam kebakaran dan kalikan rasa sakit itu 1000 kali lipat. Itu baru seperseratus rasa sakit yang saya alami. Saya kaget mengapa saya masih bisa hidup.
Kedua, hari ini anda telat datang ke kelas. Anda datang 15 menit sebelum kelas selesai. Sepanjang kelas, saya takut. Saya takut tidak melihat anda hari itu. Saya takut anda mungkin sakit. Saya lebih takut dengan fakta mungkin anda sedang pergi bersama dengan dia.
Lalu, 15 menit sebelum kelas selesai, berdirilah makhluk Tuhan yang hampir sempurna di depan kelas. Dengan napas terputus - putus. Dengan senyummu yang memukau seperti biasa, anda dengan tenangnya menyalahkan macet Jakarta untuk alasan keterlambatan anda.
Ketiga, anda tidak menganggap saya hari ini. Mungkin karena anda masih belum menyadari eksistensi hidup saya di hidup anda. Tapi saya merasa tambah sakit hari ini karena anda menyapa orang di sebelah saya dan bukannya saya.
Kenapa?
Apakah anda tidak tahu ada orang yang peduli dengan anda disini?
Kali ini, anda kelewatan dan saya marah.
Ya, saya marah.
Saya marah karena anda membuat saya khawatir.
Saya marah karena saya memikirkan anda padahal saya bukanlah siapa - siapa.
Saya marah karena anda tidak menganggap saya ada.
Saya marah karena anda tidak mengetahui perasaan saya.
Saya marah karena saya peduli terhadap anda.
Saya marah karena walaupun anda membuat saya kesal hari ini, saya tetap menyukai anda.
Saya marah karena perasaan ini.
Sekian surat dari saya kali ini.
Semoga anda cepat putus lalu menyadari kehadiran saya dan kita bisa hidup bahagia berdua dengan latar belakang matahari tenggelam.
Salam,
Si Baju Abu - Abu.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Temptation From The Blue Shirt
Chapter Nine.
Page 256 of 365.
Temptation From The Blue Shirt
Stop tempting me.
Stop teasing me.
Stop making me fall deeper in love with you.
Stop giving me that smile,
a smile that can light up the rest of my nights,
a smile that gives me thousands reasons to smile back at you.
Stop giving me that gaze,
a gaze that makes my heart beats faster,
a gaze that makes me blush out of nowhere.
Stop giving me that laughter,
a laughter that defines a sincere happiness,
a laughter that tells me that heaven-on-earth is not a myth.
Stop giving me that scent,
a scent of happily ever after,
a scent of the perfect one for me.
Stop giving me that feeling,
a feeling of love,
a feeling of wondering and get lost in your story.
Stop giving me that hope,
a hope that i can get to know you closer,
a hope that you understand what you mean to me.
Stop tempting me.
Stop teasing me.
Stop making me fall deeper in love with you.
...
But, actually..
No, please don't stop.
Page 256 of 365.
Temptation From The Blue Shirt
Stop tempting me.
Stop teasing me.
Stop making me fall deeper in love with you.
Stop giving me that smile,
a smile that can light up the rest of my nights,
a smile that gives me thousands reasons to smile back at you.
Stop giving me that gaze,
a gaze that makes my heart beats faster,
a gaze that makes me blush out of nowhere.
Stop giving me that laughter,
a laughter that defines a sincere happiness,
a laughter that tells me that heaven-on-earth is not a myth.
Stop giving me that scent,
a scent of happily ever after,
a scent of the perfect one for me.
Stop giving me that feeling,
a feeling of love,
a feeling of wondering and get lost in your story.
Stop giving me that hope,
a hope that i can get to know you closer,
a hope that you understand what you mean to me.
Stop tempting me.
Stop teasing me.
Stop making me fall deeper in love with you.
...
But, actually..
No, please don't stop.
Labels:
baju biru,
blue shirt,
my poems,
poems,
puisi,
si baju biru
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Untuk Si Baju Biru
Chapter Nine.
Page 254 of 365.
Untuk Si Baju Biru.
Kepada Si Baju Biru,
di kelas baru.
Lampiran: kepingan hati, separuh napas, dan segenggam ketulusan.
Kepada Si Baju Biru,
Bersamaan dengan surat ini, saya selaku penghuni kelas baru di kelasmu, menyatakan ketertarikan yang aneh kepada dirimu.
Bukan, bukan perasaan yang diawali dengan huruf C itu. Terlalu dini bagi kita untuk mengucapkan itu. Namun, yang pasti, kamu telah sukses membuat labil hati saya.
Setiap saya masuk ke kelas, mata saya selalu terpaku kepada kamu dan saya akan memilih untuk duduk di tempat yang memungkinkan saya untuk terus memandangimu tanpa takut ketahuan.
Setiap ada tugas berkelompok di kelas, saya selalu mengucap doa dalam hati agar sang takdir mempertemukan kita bersama.
Setiap ada lelucon terucap dalam kelas, saya selalu melirik ke arahmu karena melihatmu tertawa adalah kebahagiaan terbesar saya hari itu.
Setiap kamu datang ke kelas dengan baju berwarna biru, saya selalu khawatir. Khawatir melihatmu begitu mempesona dan membuat penghuni kelas lainnya memperhatikanmu.
Setiap kelas berakhir, saya selalu melihatmu pergi dengan terburu - buru. Sedikit takut bahwa kamu pulang bersama orang yang kau selalu telepon tiap istirahat itu.
Nah, maksud saya menulis surat ini hanyalah mengungkapkan apa yang saya rasakan.
Bukan surat permintaan yang memaksa anda untuk menyukai saya kembali.
Saya hanya ingin anda tahu bahwa anda selalu membuat malam - malam saya lebih berwarna.
Terima kasih,
Si Baju Abu - Abu.
Page 254 of 365.
Untuk Si Baju Biru.
Kepada Si Baju Biru,
di kelas baru.
Lampiran: kepingan hati, separuh napas, dan segenggam ketulusan.
Kepada Si Baju Biru,
Bersamaan dengan surat ini, saya selaku penghuni kelas baru di kelasmu, menyatakan ketertarikan yang aneh kepada dirimu.
Bukan, bukan perasaan yang diawali dengan huruf C itu. Terlalu dini bagi kita untuk mengucapkan itu. Namun, yang pasti, kamu telah sukses membuat labil hati saya.
Setiap saya masuk ke kelas, mata saya selalu terpaku kepada kamu dan saya akan memilih untuk duduk di tempat yang memungkinkan saya untuk terus memandangimu tanpa takut ketahuan.
Setiap ada tugas berkelompok di kelas, saya selalu mengucap doa dalam hati agar sang takdir mempertemukan kita bersama.
Setiap ada lelucon terucap dalam kelas, saya selalu melirik ke arahmu karena melihatmu tertawa adalah kebahagiaan terbesar saya hari itu.
Setiap kamu datang ke kelas dengan baju berwarna biru, saya selalu khawatir. Khawatir melihatmu begitu mempesona dan membuat penghuni kelas lainnya memperhatikanmu.
Setiap kelas berakhir, saya selalu melihatmu pergi dengan terburu - buru. Sedikit takut bahwa kamu pulang bersama orang yang kau selalu telepon tiap istirahat itu.
Nah, maksud saya menulis surat ini hanyalah mengungkapkan apa yang saya rasakan.
Bukan surat permintaan yang memaksa anda untuk menyukai saya kembali.
Saya hanya ingin anda tahu bahwa anda selalu membuat malam - malam saya lebih berwarna.
Terima kasih,
Si Baju Abu - Abu.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Si Baju Biru
Chapter Nine.
Page 248 of 365.
Si Baju Biru.
Aku tidak pernah percaya tentang cinta pada pandangan pertama.
Sampai aku bertemu denganmu,
si baju biru yang tersenyum manis dari pojok kelas.
Aku tidak pernah percaya tentang cinta pada pandangan pertama.
Sampai aku melihat senyummu,
si baju biru yang misterius di kelas baru.
Aku tidak pernah percaya tentang cinta pada pandangan pertama.
Sampai aku mendengar tawamu,
si baju biru yang menyita perhatianku sejak awal kisah kita.
Aku tidak pernah percaya tentang cinta pada pandangan pertama.
Sampai aku duduk di sebelahmu,
si baju biru yang ramah kepada semua orang.
Aku tidak pernah percaya tentang cinta pada pandangan pertama.
Sampai aku melamunkanmu,
si baju biru dengan lesung pipi yang dalam.
Aku tidak pernah mau mencinta.
Sampai aku dipaksa,
Oleh si baju biru di pojok kelas.
Page 248 of 365.
Si Baju Biru.
Aku tidak pernah percaya tentang cinta pada pandangan pertama.
Sampai aku bertemu denganmu,
si baju biru yang tersenyum manis dari pojok kelas.
Aku tidak pernah percaya tentang cinta pada pandangan pertama.
Sampai aku melihat senyummu,
si baju biru yang misterius di kelas baru.
Aku tidak pernah percaya tentang cinta pada pandangan pertama.
Sampai aku mendengar tawamu,
si baju biru yang menyita perhatianku sejak awal kisah kita.
Aku tidak pernah percaya tentang cinta pada pandangan pertama.
Sampai aku duduk di sebelahmu,
si baju biru yang ramah kepada semua orang.
Aku tidak pernah percaya tentang cinta pada pandangan pertama.
Sampai aku melamunkanmu,
si baju biru dengan lesung pipi yang dalam.
Aku tidak pernah mau mencinta.
Sampai aku dipaksa,
Oleh si baju biru di pojok kelas.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
On Breaking Through Hard Times
Chapter Nine.
Page 244 of 365.
On Breaking Through Hard Times.
Hard times.
They say, hard times make you stronger.
All i know is, hard times make me weary.
And bored.
Yes, the amount of hard times in my life is too damn high,
i even get bored with problems.
It's like my pheromone attracts problems instead of Jessica Jung of SNSD.
When i was a kid, i thought that being a 'grown-up Christian' is being free from problems, living happily ever after, and so on.
It's wrong.
Being a grown-up Christian means you're being responsible.
It means you're being hopeful.
It means you're relying on God.
It means total surrender to Him.
It means having more and bigger problems.
This passage on Lamentations bitch-slaps me.
Being hopeful is a good thing.
Going through hard times when you're young is a good thing.
I can hear you automatically responded, "Yeah, right. Suffering is a good thing."
I don't want to explain you why dealing with problems is good for us.
One thing i know: comfort is not the sign of growth.
Our first day of gym is not a beautiful memory but still we come for the second, third, and so on.
Why?
Because we focus on the result, and not the temporary pain.
Why don't we try to see problems the same way?
This passage even gives us practical things to do when you're going through a hard time:
1. Bow in prayer.
2. Don't ask questions - Yes, this is include the Why-do-i-have-to-go-through-this-and-my-friends-don't.
3. Wait for hope to appear. - Being actively waiting for hope, that means you don't procrastinate and waiting for miracles.
4. Don't run from trouble, take it full face.
Why?
Because our God is not a God of failure.
He is The God of victory.
He takes no delight in people's problems.
He has no pleasure in making life hard.
That's what we often miss.
We often say, "This trouble is from God. It's for my own good. I have to endure it."
NO!
I don't believe God sends us troubles to make us stronger.
Our problems are from our own mistake.
It's the fruit of sin.
And we have to be responsible of them.
And the good news is,
you never left alone.
You have God!
And that's more than enough.
I'll leave you here with one of my favorites' quote about hope:
Page 244 of 365.
On Breaking Through Hard Times.
It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God.
It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The “worst” is never the worst.
Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return.
If He works severely, He also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way.
-Lamentations 3: 27 - 33 (The Message).
They say, hard times make you stronger.
All i know is, hard times make me weary.
And bored.
Yes, the amount of hard times in my life is too damn high,
i even get bored with problems.
It's like my pheromone attracts problems instead of Jessica Jung of SNSD.
When i was a kid, i thought that being a 'grown-up Christian' is being free from problems, living happily ever after, and so on.
It's wrong.
Being a grown-up Christian means you're being responsible.
It means you're being hopeful.
It means you're relying on God.
It means total surrender to Him.
It means having more and bigger problems.
This passage on Lamentations bitch-slaps me.
Being hopeful is a good thing.
Going through hard times when you're young is a good thing.
I can hear you automatically responded, "Yeah, right. Suffering is a good thing."
I don't want to explain you why dealing with problems is good for us.
One thing i know: comfort is not the sign of growth.
Our first day of gym is not a beautiful memory but still we come for the second, third, and so on.
Why?
Because we focus on the result, and not the temporary pain.
Why don't we try to see problems the same way?
This passage even gives us practical things to do when you're going through a hard time:
1. Bow in prayer.
2. Don't ask questions - Yes, this is include the Why-do-i-have-to-go-through-this-and-my-friends-don't.
3. Wait for hope to appear. - Being actively waiting for hope, that means you don't procrastinate and waiting for miracles.
4. Don't run from trouble, take it full face.
Why?
Because our God is not a God of failure.
He is The God of victory.
He takes no delight in people's problems.
He has no pleasure in making life hard.
That's what we often miss.
We often say, "This trouble is from God. It's for my own good. I have to endure it."
NO!
I don't believe God sends us troubles to make us stronger.
Our problems are from our own mistake.
It's the fruit of sin.
And we have to be responsible of them.
And the good news is,
you never left alone.
You have God!
And that's more than enough.
(This note comes from 21 year old guy who is going through his hard times at the moment. Not with the love stuff, but with the real life stuff: family, finance, study, job, faith, and forgiveness. If he can still be hopeful, why can't you?)
I'll leave you here with one of my favorites' quote about hope:
You will live secure and full of hope; God will protect you and give you rest. -Job 11:18 (GNT).
Labels:
bible,
christianity,
church,
faith,
hard times,
jpcc,
lamentations,
my life,
psalms
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Before I Fall In Love
Chapter Eight.
Page 236 of 365.
Before I Fall In Love
My heart says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel?
'cause my heart's been fooled before.
Am I just seeing what I want to see?
Or, is it true, could you really be someone to have and hold
with all my heart and soul?
I need to know, before I fall in love.
Someone who'll stay around
through all my up's and down's
Please tell me now, before I fall in love.
I'm at the point of no return,
so afraid of getting burned,
but I wanna take a chance.
Oh, please give me a reason to believe.
Say, you're the one, that you'll always be someone to have and hold
with all my heart and soul.
I need to know, before I fall in love.
Someone who'll stay around
through all my up's and down's.
Please tell me now, before I fall in love.
It's been so hard for me to give my heart away,
but I would give my everything
just to hear you say..
"Someone to have and hold
with all my heart and soul."
Page 236 of 365.
Before I Fall In Love
My heart says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel?
'cause my heart's been fooled before.
No, you are not my first, just like i'm not yours.
I can't be so sure about us.
I've been hurt and i don't want to be hurt again.
Am I just seeing what I want to see?
Or, is it true, could you really be someone to have and hold
with all my heart and soul?
I need to know, before I fall in love.
People tell me that i'm delusional,
that i don't see things the way they are.
Instead, i see things the way i want them to be.
But..
i think you are what i want you to be.
Can you convince me?
Someone who'll stay around
through all my up's and down's
Please tell me now, before I fall in love.
A relationship is not a moment.
It's not an event.
It's a journey.
Would you go with me?
No, i mean,
would you stay with me?
I'm at the point of no return,
so afraid of getting burned,
but I wanna take a chance.
Yes, i really do.
I want to give you chances.
I don't want anyone else.
Why?
I don't know either.
Do we need a reason to fall in love?
Oh, please give me a reason to believe.
Just one reason would be enough for me.
Or is it too much to ask from you?
Say, you're the one, that you'll always be someone to have and hold
with all my heart and soul.
I need to know, before I fall in love.
Because the truth is,
i'm scared.
I'm scared of the thought of losing you,
the thought of not having you around,
the thought of seeing you happy with someone else.
Someone who'll stay around
through all my up's and down's.
Please tell me now, before I fall in love.
Because i know,
we are not meant to be.
So, i need you tell me that you will
stand beside me when we're fighting the whole world together.
It's been so hard for me to give my heart away,
but I would give my everything
just to hear you say..
Everything.
I will voluntarily catch a grenade for you.
I will give you my everything.
I've fallen from the heaven and they won't take me back.
I exchange heaven for a chance of being with you.
I don't always be good.
I just want to be happy,
i just want to be with you.
"Someone to have and hold
with all my heart and soul."
So..
Please, tell me before i fall in love.
Wait..
It's a little bit too late.
I always loved you from the beginning.
:)
DISCLAIMER:
I don't own the lyrics of Before I Fall In Love on the left side.
I only made the poem on the right side.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Untukmu, J
Chapter Eight.
Page 221 of 365.
Untukmu, J.
Untukmu, J.
Page 221 of 365.
Untukmu, J.
Untukmu, J.
Halo, J..
Apa kabar?
Pasti baik, kan? Tadi aku lihat kamu bersama seorang teman
pergi berdua.
Ya, aku harap dia hanya seorang teman.
Memikirkan bahwa
sudah ada orang lain yang memilikimu tidak bisa diterima pikiranku.
Jika ada formula
‘yang harusnya memilikimu’ pastilah jawabannya adalah ‘aku’.
Sudah lama kita tidak mengobrol..
Bahkan, aku ragu kita pernah mengobrol sebelumnya.
Maksudku, mengobrol tentang kita.
Bukan tentang temanmu.
Bukan tentang temanku.
Bukan tentang
pekerjaanmu.
Bukan tentang studiku.
Tapi tentang kita.
Tentang harapan.
Tentang
cinta.
Aku tahu.
Mungkin ini salah.
Mungkin memang benar jika kita berdua
bukanlah pasangan yang sepadan.
Tapi kadang aku bertanya, siapakah yang
menentukan batas baik dan benar?
Bukankah jika kita berdua merasa bahwa ini
adalah hal yang baik, itu adalah hal yang baik?
Kenapa harus dengar apa kata orang?
Kenapa harus dengar apa
kata dunia?
Aku menulis surat ini bukan sebagai surat cinta yang merayu
– rayu agar aku bisa kembali mendekatimu.
Aku menulis surat ini karena aku
merasa kehilangan.
Aku merasa kehilangan seorang teman baik.
Bukannya berlagak munafik.
Ya, mungkin rasa itu masih ada
sampai saat ini.
Tapi yang lebih aku butuhkan saat ini adalah teman.
Seorang teman yang mengerti aku, yang mengerti apa yang aku
hadapi, dan yang tidak menghakimi.
Seorang teman seperti kamu yang dahulu.
Aku sudah hampir bisa mendengar suaramu yang menyerukan nada
– nada sinis agar aku berhenti menjadi seorang bayi dan mulai menghadapi hidup.
“Kamu bisa bertahan hidup sebelum bertemu aku. Kenapa harus
tidak bisa melanjutkan hidup lagi tanpaku?”
Kenapa?
Aku juga belum menemukan jawabnya sampai saat ini.
Mungkin aku harus lebih giat lagi mencari jawabannya.
Baiklah,
aku harap kamu sehat selalu dan bahagia.
Dengannya, tanpaku
Dari, I.
PS: Maaf jika kertasnya basah, aku bersumpah ini bukan tetes air mata.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Meja Untuk Dua
Chapter Eight.
Page 217 of 365.
Meja Untuk Dua.
Page 217 of 365.
Meja Untuk Dua.
Meja untuk dua orang,
di kedai kopi tempat kita pertama bertemu.
Saat kita masih senang bermain – main dengan api cinta
tanpa takut akan terbakar panasnya cemburu.
Segelas susu dingin untukmu
dan satu gelas kopi pahit untukku.
Karena aku sudah punya pemanis sendiri untuk kopi ini,
wajahmu yang tersenyum saat duduk di hadapanku.
Sepiring kentang goreng dengan saos tomat,
digoreng kering tanpa tambahan garam.
Dimakan selagi hangat saat hujan di luar,
sebelum hawa dingin masuk membuatnya lembek,
Kue cokelat manis sebagai penutup,
satu piring untuk berdua.
Biar romantis, katamu,
lagipula celana mulai sempit nih.
Meja untuk dua orang,
di kedai kopi tempat kita pertama bertemu.
Ku isi sendiri kali ini.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
The Last Misery
Chapter Eight.
Page 215 of 365.
The Last Misery.
No,
I don't choose to feel this way.
Unfortunately, this is happening.
The grief, the sorrow, they just come out naturally.
No,
I don't want to feel this way.
Believe me, i even hate myself when i do this.
The tears, the sadness, they don't tell you the whole story.
There is always a reason why people are being the way they are now.
There is always an explanation why they do things.
There is an answer for every question.
Only if you ask the right one.
I pray.
I pray to be stronger.
I pray to be wiser.
I pray to be more patient.
I pray to understand why.
I pray a lot.
But,
i'm always heading back to the same end.
Writing over the last misery.
Page 215 of 365.
The Last Misery.
No,
I don't choose to feel this way.
Unfortunately, this is happening.
The grief, the sorrow, they just come out naturally.
No,
I don't want to feel this way.
Believe me, i even hate myself when i do this.
The tears, the sadness, they don't tell you the whole story.
There is always a reason why people are being the way they are now.
There is always an explanation why they do things.
There is an answer for every question.
Only if you ask the right one.
I pray.
I pray to be stronger.
I pray to be wiser.
I pray to be more patient.
I pray to understand why.
I pray a lot.
But,
i'm always heading back to the same end.
Writing over the last misery.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
15 Things To Do When You're Down
Chapter Seven.
Page 205 of 365.
15 Things To Do When You're Down
1. Playing with your nephew or niece or somebody else's kids. Kids won't let you be unhappy. They definitely will make you feel better. Or tired. At least, when you're tired, you won't have any energy left to be deppresed.
2. Binge - shopping. People say, when you're feeling low, do some random act of kindness. And i know that buying things helps our economy growth or something like that. It's like paying taxes: you're helping the government. But binge - shopping makes you happy. Paying taxes doesn't.
3. Go to your grandma's house. Nothing heals ache like grandma's cookies. Grandmas are like kids, they won't sense your deppresion. They only sense your hunger. They will make you feel better and full.
4. Tell everyone you meet that life is unfair until you fed up of your own words and decide to do something about your life.
5. Take a cab. Tell the driver to go to a place that comes up in your mind when he asks you where you are heading to. Enjoy the trip. Chat with the driver. Pay him twice.
6. Buy 10 pretzels and give each to everyone who smiles first to you.
7. Watch this video.
8. Give yourself a makeover. Be a brunette.
9. Write down the stuffs that make you feel bad. Burn it. Pour the ashes in the beach..
10. Take a train somewhere. Get lost. Try to find your way back home by asking help to strangers. Don't call your friends or family for help. Don't take a cab to go back. Only take advice for public transportation from the elders.
11. Go to the food court in a mall. Dub over everyone in your mind.
12. Get any Patrick Star poster. Put it on your ceiling so everytime you're awake you see it first.
13. Go to the gym. Flirt with all the cute trainers and members. When they smile back, wink.
14. Be a volunteer in an orphanage or animal shelter for a day . Or better, for a year.
15. Do the grocery shopping with your mom. Don't brag about how bad your life is. Ask her to tell you about her first love.
Page 205 of 365.
15 Things To Do When You're Down
1. Playing with your nephew or niece or somebody else's kids. Kids won't let you be unhappy. They definitely will make you feel better. Or tired. At least, when you're tired, you won't have any energy left to be deppresed.
2. Binge - shopping. People say, when you're feeling low, do some random act of kindness. And i know that buying things helps our economy growth or something like that. It's like paying taxes: you're helping the government. But binge - shopping makes you happy. Paying taxes doesn't.
3. Go to your grandma's house. Nothing heals ache like grandma's cookies. Grandmas are like kids, they won't sense your deppresion. They only sense your hunger. They will make you feel better and full.
4. Tell everyone you meet that life is unfair until you fed up of your own words and decide to do something about your life.
5. Take a cab. Tell the driver to go to a place that comes up in your mind when he asks you where you are heading to. Enjoy the trip. Chat with the driver. Pay him twice.
6. Buy 10 pretzels and give each to everyone who smiles first to you.
7. Watch this video.
8. Give yourself a makeover. Be a brunette.
9. Write down the stuffs that make you feel bad. Burn it. Pour the ashes in the beach..
10. Take a train somewhere. Get lost. Try to find your way back home by asking help to strangers. Don't call your friends or family for help. Don't take a cab to go back. Only take advice for public transportation from the elders.
11. Go to the food court in a mall. Dub over everyone in your mind.
12. Get any Patrick Star poster. Put it on your ceiling so everytime you're awake you see it first.
13. Go to the gym. Flirt with all the cute trainers and members. When they smile back, wink.
14. Be a volunteer in an orphanage or animal shelter for a day . Or better, for a year.
15. Do the grocery shopping with your mom. Don't brag about how bad your life is. Ask her to tell you about her first love.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Ku Diciptakan Sempurna
Chapter Seven.
Page 201 of 365.
Ku Diciptakan Sempurna.
Page 201 of 365.
Ku Diciptakan Sempurna.
Sebelum dunia dijadikan,
dirimu telah ada di hatiNya.
Meski manusia tak melihat,
namun engkau indah di mataNya.
Kau diciptakan sempurna,
syukuri karuniaNya.
Kau diciptakan berharga,
lebih dari yang manusia lihat.
Lihatlah dirimu dari pandanganNya,
kau diciptakan sempurna.
Tapi aku tak seperti mereka.
Mengapaku tercipta berbeda?
Mungkinkah Sang Pencipta yang salah,
aku tak seindah rencanaNya?
Kau diciptakan sempurna,
syukuri karuniaNya.
Kau diciptakan berharga,
lebih dari yang manusia lihat.
Lihatlah dirimu dari pandanganNya,
kau diciptakan sempurna.
Ku diciptakan sempurna,
syukuri karuniaNya.
Ku diciptakan berharga,
lebih dari yang manusia lihat.
Ku lihatlah diriku dari pandanganNya,
ku diciptakan sempurna.
I love surfing around the internet.
There is a huge chance for you to be amazed with some random people's talent.
And just some days ago, i found this GREAT song, made by Joshua Setia.
Listen the song here. It's worth every second of buffering!
Labels:
christianity,
joshua,
joshua setia,
ku diciptakan sempurna,
lirik,
lirik lagu,
setia,
song,
songs,
toga musical
Sunday, July 14, 2013
A Little Reminder For You
Chapter Seven.
Page 195 of 365.
A Little Reminder For You
Hello, readers.
It's been a while since the last time i said hi to you all.
Things.. changed. And changed. And changed again.
Some changed too fast, some changed too slow.
Some changes are good, some are not.
People come, people hurt, and then they go.
Some good friends made along the way, some have to leave.
Life's just being a life.
I have made some great accomplishments this year and many greater mistakes.
I met so many great people, new mentors, new friends.
I got so many ideas about everything. I have turned none of them into a workplan.
I gained some, I lose much.
I get lost and i found myself.
I'm pratically just being me.
I was told i was wrong.
I knew that i was wrong and i feel bad about it.
I was told that just 'feeling like to do something' won't get anything done.
I knew that i was wrong and i feel ashamed that i disappoint so many people.
I got so many bad news,
i got much more good news.
I sinned a lot,
I was forgiven.
Once.
And it's enough.
The thing is,
sometimes,
when bad things happen along the way,
you just need to dust it off.
And move on.
It's easy once you know what you are moving for: A better you.
Stop looking back.
Stop pity-partying yourself.
Start celebrating God's favor.
Yes, i believe that everyday we always have something that worth thanking for.
Count your blessings.
Seize the day.
Live the best of your life.
Celebrate God's favor for your life.
Cheers.
Page 195 of 365.
A Little Reminder For You
Hello, readers.
It's been a while since the last time i said hi to you all.
Things.. changed. And changed. And changed again.
Some changed too fast, some changed too slow.
Some changes are good, some are not.
People come, people hurt, and then they go.
Some good friends made along the way, some have to leave.
Life's just being a life.
I have made some great accomplishments this year and many greater mistakes.
I met so many great people, new mentors, new friends.
I got so many ideas about everything. I have turned none of them into a workplan.
I gained some, I lose much.
I get lost and i found myself.
I'm pratically just being me.
I was told i was wrong.
I knew that i was wrong and i feel bad about it.
I was told that just 'feeling like to do something' won't get anything done.
I knew that i was wrong and i feel ashamed that i disappoint so many people.
I got so many bad news,
i got much more good news.
I sinned a lot,
I was forgiven.
Once.
And it's enough.
The thing is,
sometimes,
when bad things happen along the way,
you just need to dust it off.
And move on.
It's easy once you know what you are moving for: A better you.
Stop looking back.
Stop pity-partying yourself.
Start celebrating God's favor.
Yes, i believe that everyday we always have something that worth thanking for.
Count your blessings.
Seize the day.
Live the best of your life.
Celebrate God's favor for your life.
Cheers.
Labels:
blue,
christianity,
church,
inspiration,
letter,
my poems,
passion,
poems,
red
Friday, July 12, 2013
Tiga Bangku
Chapter Seven.
Page 193 of 365.
Tiga Bangku.
Tiga bangku.
Aku.
Kamu.
Dia.
Kamu akan duduk di tengah.
Karena kamulah yang menghubungkan aku dan dia.
Kamu akan memulai pembicaraan.
Bercerita panjang lebar tentang hidupmu.
Sementara aku dan dia mencuri pandangan malu - malu.
Aku, selalu akan duduk di sisi kirimu.
Karena dia selalu lebih indah dipandang dari sini.
Aku akan memberikan senyumanku.
Berusaha untuk tampak tulus dan manis.
Untuk dia, dan bukannya untukmu.
Dia, akan duduk di sisi kananmu.
Karena dia selalu menggenggam tanganmu sebelah sana.
Dia akan selalu tampak memukau.
Tanpa sedikitpun usaha darinya.
Karena dia memang selalu menyita perhatian.
Tiga bangku.
Aku.
Kamu.
Dia.
Page 193 of 365.
Tiga Bangku.
Tiga bangku.
Aku.
Kamu.
Dia.
Kamu akan duduk di tengah.
Karena kamulah yang menghubungkan aku dan dia.
Kamu akan memulai pembicaraan.
Bercerita panjang lebar tentang hidupmu.
Sementara aku dan dia mencuri pandangan malu - malu.
Aku, selalu akan duduk di sisi kirimu.
Karena dia selalu lebih indah dipandang dari sini.
Aku akan memberikan senyumanku.
Berusaha untuk tampak tulus dan manis.
Untuk dia, dan bukannya untukmu.
Dia, akan duduk di sisi kananmu.
Karena dia selalu menggenggam tanganmu sebelah sana.
Dia akan selalu tampak memukau.
Tanpa sedikitpun usaha darinya.
Karena dia memang selalu menyita perhatian.
Tiga bangku.
Aku.
Kamu.
Dia.
Labels:
aku,
blue,
dia,
kamu,
lyrics,
my poems. passion,
poems,
puisi,
red,
tiga bangku
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Rumit
Chapter Seven.
Page 191 of 365.
Rumit.
Page 191 of 365.
Rumit.
RAN:
Kalau kamu memang detektif, seharusnya kamu bisa menganalisis hatiku, kan!
SHINICHI:
Kamu ini rumit, tahu!
Kamu seperti kasus rumit yang menyusahkan!
Aku terlalu banyak melibatkan emosi kalau berurusan denganmu!
Sekalipun aku Holmes, aku tidak mungkin bisa memecahkan kasus serumit kamu!
Karena tidak mungkin aku bisa membaca dengan tepat isi hati orang yang aku sukai...
Kamu..
Memang serumit sebuah kasus pembunuhan di ruang tertutup.
Kadang,
aku selalu berpikir bahwa alibimu terlalu kuat.
Untuk aku tuntut dengan tuduhan mencuri hati ini.
Kadang pula,
kamu dengan cerdiknya meninggalkan kepingan petunjuk.
Untuk aku rangkai dengan harapan aku sadar tentangmu.
Kamu..
Memang seberbahaya obat APTX 4869.
Kadang,
kamu selalu bertindak bersih tanpa meninggalkan jejak.
Seperti sang penyihir terang bulan.
Kadang pula,
kamu membabi buta seperti pembunuh bertopeng pendendam.
Seakan menikmati setiap jerit ketakutan.
Kamu..
Selalu tampak manis seperti Ran Mouri.
Dan aku..
Aku..
Harus pergi dari hidupmu, selayaknya Shinichi Kudo.
Labels:
blue,
conan,
conan edogawa,
detektif conan,
lirik,
lirik lagu,
my poems,
passion,
poems,
puisi,
ran,
ran mouri,
red,
shinichi kudo
Saturday, July 6, 2013
I'll Try
Chapter Seven.
Page 187 of 365.
I'll Try.
I'm not the best poet in the world.
But i'll try to make a poem, a good one.
Because of you.
I'm not the best singer in the world.
But i'll try to sing a song, a nice one.
Because of you.
I'm not the mightiest man in the world.
But i'll try to move a mountain, a big one.
Because of you.
I'm not the cutest guy in the world.
But i'll try to give you a smile, a sincere one.
Because of you.
I'm not the smartest kid in the world.
But i'll try to solve this heart question, a hard one.
Because of you.
I'm not what you want.
Neither what you need.
But i'll try.
I'll try hard.
Page 187 of 365.
I'll Try.
I'm not the best poet in the world.
But i'll try to make a poem, a good one.
Because of you.
I'm not the best singer in the world.
But i'll try to sing a song, a nice one.
Because of you.
I'm not the mightiest man in the world.
But i'll try to move a mountain, a big one.
Because of you.
I'm not the cutest guy in the world.
But i'll try to give you a smile, a sincere one.
Because of you.
I'm not the smartest kid in the world.
But i'll try to solve this heart question, a hard one.
Because of you.
I'm not what you want.
Neither what you need.
But i'll try.
I'll try hard.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Selalu MenyembahMu
Chapter Seven.
Page 184 of 365.
Selalu MenyembahMu.
Kaulah Allahku
Penolong dalam kesesakan jiwaku
Kau brikanku damai dan sejahtera
Yang kurindukan di dalam dunia
Kau Allah yang setia
Penjaga jiwa yang ada senantiasa
Penuntun hidupku pelita jiwaku
Kini kuhidup bagiMu
Selalu menyembahMu
Jadikan diriMu tempat pertamaku
Biarpun gelombang datang dalam hidupku
Ku tau Engkau slalu besertaku
Sampai slama-lamanya
MenyenangkanMu itulah rinduku
Jadikanku penyembahMu
Yang taat kepadaMu
Selamanya
Page 184 of 365.
Selalu MenyembahMu.
Kaulah Allahku
Penolong dalam kesesakan jiwaku
Kau brikanku damai dan sejahtera
Yang kurindukan di dalam dunia
Kau Allah yang setia
Penjaga jiwa yang ada senantiasa
Penuntun hidupku pelita jiwaku
Kini kuhidup bagiMu
Selalu menyembahMu
Jadikan diriMu tempat pertamaku
Biarpun gelombang datang dalam hidupku
Ku tau Engkau slalu besertaku
Sampai slama-lamanya
MenyenangkanMu itulah rinduku
Jadikanku penyembahMu
Yang taat kepadaMu
Selamanya
Selamanya
Selamanya
Seumur hidupku
Seumur hidupku
This is a song by 3PM band. You can listen the indonesian version, with the lyrics above, here.
Oh, and there is an english version by the City Harvest Church, watch it here.
Have a great day and be blessed. :)
Labels:
3pm,
church,
city harvest church,
gospel,
jpcc,
lirik,
lirik lagu,
selalu menyembahmu,
song
Monday, July 1, 2013
No Greater Love
Chapter Seven.
Page 182 of 365.
No Greater Love.
No greater love.
Than a love that sets you free.
No greater love.
Than a love that gives you hope.
No greater love.
No greater love.
When you feel alone,
and on your own,
just look up above.
There is love, there is love.
When you cry for help,
and no one heard,
you can always cope.
There is hope, there is hope.
No greater love.
Than a love that makes you sing.
No greater love.
Than a love that hold you close.
No greater love.
No greater love.
No greater love in this world.
No greater love i can ever feel.
No greater love, no greater love.
Page 182 of 365.
No Greater Love.
No greater love.
Than a love that sets you free.
No greater love.
Than a love that gives you hope.
No greater love.
No greater love.
When you feel alone,
and on your own,
just look up above.
There is love, there is love.
When you cry for help,
and no one heard,
you can always cope.
There is hope, there is hope.
No greater love.
Than a love that makes you sing.
No greater love.
Than a love that hold you close.
No greater love.
No greater love.
No greater love in this world.
No greater love i can ever feel.
No greater love, no greater love.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Tangisan Sunyi
Chapter Six.
Page 175 of 365.
Tangisan Sunyi.
Tik.
Tik.
Tik.
Suara air jatuh dari atas atap.
Sisa - sisa keriaan tarian hujan.
Sepi.
Sendiri.
Ada laba - laba menyulam kebahagiaannya di pojok.
Membuat ilusi indah untuk menjebak mangsanya.
Bayangan santap malam yang lezat hari ini sudah di depan matanya.
Namun ia masih sendiri.
Merajut mimpi indahnya di pojok itu.
Sementara berlarian di bawah, semut - semut yang bergotong royong.
Membawa ini, menggotong itu.
Asal bergerak sang ratu pun senang.
Riuh rendah perintah berkumandang.
Ayo, kerja, ayo.
Tik.
Tik.
Tik.
Tetesan ini bukan air lagi.
Kali ini lebih kental dan lebih pekat.
Sang laba - laba melirik ke arah sana dan melihat raksasa berdiri sendiri.
Sama sepertinya.
Namun, bedanya sang laba - laba masih mempunyai harapan sedangkan raksasa itu tidak.
Page 175 of 365.
Tangisan Sunyi.
Tik.
Tik.
Tik.
Suara air jatuh dari atas atap.
Sisa - sisa keriaan tarian hujan.
Sepi.
Sendiri.
Ada laba - laba menyulam kebahagiaannya di pojok.
Membuat ilusi indah untuk menjebak mangsanya.
Bayangan santap malam yang lezat hari ini sudah di depan matanya.
Namun ia masih sendiri.
Merajut mimpi indahnya di pojok itu.
Sementara berlarian di bawah, semut - semut yang bergotong royong.
Membawa ini, menggotong itu.
Asal bergerak sang ratu pun senang.
Riuh rendah perintah berkumandang.
Ayo, kerja, ayo.
Tik.
Tik.
Tik.
Tetesan ini bukan air lagi.
Kali ini lebih kental dan lebih pekat.
Sang laba - laba melirik ke arah sana dan melihat raksasa berdiri sendiri.
Sama sepertinya.
Namun, bedanya sang laba - laba masih mempunyai harapan sedangkan raksasa itu tidak.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
My Prayer, Only You
Chapter Six.
Page 167 of 365.
My Prayer, Only You.
For every moment like this,
i'm thanking God for you.
For every laughter you give me,
And for every tear of joy.
For every moment like this,
i know that you're special.
For every moment that we have shared,
And the ones that we're going to make.
I'm so grateful that i have you.
I'm so grateful that you love me.
From the bottom of my heart i sing for you,
My prayer for you, only you.
I know that life isn't fair at all.
And i know that i might be down.
But you will always have that something for me,
Your faithful prayer for me, for me.
Page 167 of 365.
My Prayer, Only You.
For every moment like this,
i'm thanking God for you.
For every laughter you give me,
And for every tear of joy.
For every moment like this,
i know that you're special.
For every moment that we have shared,
And the ones that we're going to make.
I'm so grateful that i have you.
I'm so grateful that you love me.
From the bottom of my heart i sing for you,
My prayer for you, only you.
I know that life isn't fair at all.
And i know that i might be down.
But you will always have that something for me,
Your faithful prayer for me, for me.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Kuat
Chapter Six.
Page 166 of 365.
Kuat.
...
Wah, langitnya cerah.
Lihat, birunya seperti bajuku hari ini.
Hmm, perasaan apa ini.
Seperti rasa geli di perutku,
yang mengatakan bahwa ini tidak benar.
Menonton langit yang diam saja sendirian.
Ah, hanya bayanganku saja.
Wah, hamparan bunga ini begitu indah.
Berwarna - warni mencerahkan hari.
Perasaan itu lagi.
Berdegup pelan saat aku melihat bunga itu.
Menyiratkan rasa sesaat mengenai kefamiliaran ini.
Bukan apa - apa. Bukan apa - apa.
Ah, hujan.
Ayo berteduh di sana.
Di bawah pohon rindang yang terasa tidak asing itu.
Tetes hujan ini terus mengalir deras.
Membasahi wajahku juga.
Tidak, aku tidak menangis.
Page 166 of 365.
Kuat.
...
Wah, langitnya cerah.
Lihat, birunya seperti bajuku hari ini.
Hmm, perasaan apa ini.
Seperti rasa geli di perutku,
yang mengatakan bahwa ini tidak benar.
Menonton langit yang diam saja sendirian.
Ah, hanya bayanganku saja.
Wah, hamparan bunga ini begitu indah.
Berwarna - warni mencerahkan hari.
Perasaan itu lagi.
Berdegup pelan saat aku melihat bunga itu.
Menyiratkan rasa sesaat mengenai kefamiliaran ini.
Bukan apa - apa. Bukan apa - apa.
Ah, hujan.
Ayo berteduh di sana.
Di bawah pohon rindang yang terasa tidak asing itu.
Tetes hujan ini terus mengalir deras.
Membasahi wajahku juga.
Tidak, aku tidak menangis.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Truntum: A Happy Ending Unrequited Love Story
Chapter Six.
Page 158 of 365.
Truntum.
Dear star,
Have you ever been so lonely up there?
Are we dealing for the same problem?
They say, i'm a damn lucky girl.
Living in all abundance,
Having everything at my finger tips.
They say, i should be grateful.
Being the chosen one,
for millions of girls are willing to be where i am now.
I think, they just don't get it.
I never chose him because of who he is.
Or who he is going to be.
I love him.
I just do.
So, can you tell him how much i miss him, star?
Can you send him my love?
Can you whisper him the sweet memories we had?
I know we are going to be together again in the end.
I just can't afford the truth that now he is with someone else.
Writer's note:
This is the first time i make a post on the girl's point of view. This one is inspired by the history of truntum, a batik motif. You can read the history here. It's in Bahasa Indonesia.
Labels:
batik,
batik truntum,
blue,
motif truntum,
my poems,
passion,
red,
truntum
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Okay, Now What?
Chapter Five.
Page 149 of 365.
Okay, Now What?
You're waiting for your whole life for this moment.
You're working your ass off to be in this position.
All the hard work, all the sweat, and all the tear.
You finally got what you're longing for.
...
Okay, now what?
Well, it doesn't feel like it.
It doesn't feel like what you thought it would feel.
Umm, okay, this is weird.
Now you are already at the top of the world.
Being a winner.
Wearing the victor's crown.
An undefeatable champion.
So, now what?
Hey, you're supposed to know that it's all alone at the top.
But, enjoy the solitude!
Isn't it what you're always praying for?
...
Okay, now what?
Page 149 of 365.
Okay, Now What?
You're waiting for your whole life for this moment.
You're working your ass off to be in this position.
All the hard work, all the sweat, and all the tear.
You finally got what you're longing for.
...
Okay, now what?
Well, it doesn't feel like it.
It doesn't feel like what you thought it would feel.
Umm, okay, this is weird.
Now you are already at the top of the world.
Being a winner.
Wearing the victor's crown.
An undefeatable champion.
So, now what?
Hey, you're supposed to know that it's all alone at the top.
But, enjoy the solitude!
Isn't it what you're always praying for?
...
Okay, now what?
Monday, May 27, 2013
Blank Pages
Chapter Five.
Page 147 of 365.
Blank Pages.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are not going to be filled with the sweet words, like they used to.
A sweet temptation over a sinful delight.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are wasted, just like the times we had spent on us.
A rubbish on a trash can.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are empty and plain white, just like the way they should be.
A purity lies on a fake feeling.
There are blank pages scarttered all around the floor.
Just as much as the blank pages on my memories of you.
Moving on, moving on.
Page 147 of 365.
Blank Pages.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are not going to be filled with the sweet words, like they used to.
A sweet temptation over a sinful delight.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are wasted, just like the times we had spent on us.
A rubbish on a trash can.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are empty and plain white, just like the way they should be.
A purity lies on a fake feeling.
There are blank pages scarttered all around the floor.
Just as much as the blank pages on my memories of you.
Moving on, moving on.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Accepted and Ignored
Chapter Five.
Page 144 of 365.
Accepted and Ignored.
May 24th. 2013.
Accepted.
But i know i will be ignored.
It's not the first time i feel hurt like this.
It's my fault.
Sorry.
Page 144 of 365.
Accepted and Ignored.
May 24th. 2013.
Accepted.
But i know i will be ignored.
It's not the first time i feel hurt like this.
It's my fault.
Sorry.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Yes and No
Chapter Five.
Page 142 of 365.
Yes and No.
Time goes by.
So slowly.
Only for those who wait, you say.
But, am i waiting for something?
Yes and No.
Yes, because i'm kind of wanting that something would happen.
No, because i really don't know what to expect.
You only scared to be hurt, you say.
Am i really scared to be hurt?
Yes and No.
Yes, because it's naturally a human being instinct to be safe.
No, because.. I mean, look at me, wanting you all this time. Nothing will hurt me more.
You are confusing dreams with love, you say.
Am i confusing myself?
Yes and No.
Yes, because somehow now i realize that you're right.
No, because i know that they're not just dreams.
So, basically you're just in love. With me.
Yes.
Page 142 of 365.
Yes and No.
Time goes by.
So slowly.
Only for those who wait, you say.
But, am i waiting for something?
Yes and No.
Yes, because i'm kind of wanting that something would happen.
No, because i really don't know what to expect.
You only scared to be hurt, you say.
Am i really scared to be hurt?
Yes and No.
Yes, because it's naturally a human being instinct to be safe.
No, because.. I mean, look at me, wanting you all this time. Nothing will hurt me more.
You are confusing dreams with love, you say.
Am i confusing myself?
Yes and No.
Yes, because somehow now i realize that you're right.
No, because i know that they're not just dreams.
So, basically you're just in love. With me.
Yes.
Monday, May 13, 2013
It's 5:18 and I'm Late!
Chapter Five.
Page 133 of 365.
5:18.
What time is it?
I'm late!
This is not what i have planned since midnight.
When it's 5:18, i shouldn't still be here in my room.
I should have been gone to the real world,
Working out my ass off like others.
I'm late!
How could i be so lazy?
Others have started their day earlier than me.
This is not right and i have to punish myself for being so lazy.
But not now, because i'm running out of time!
I'm late!
Okay, but where do i go from here?
Another stupidity.
I should have figured it out since midnight.
Look at them, who run surely to somewhere without any doubts about where they are heading.
Why can i be so stupid?
I'm late!
It's already 5:18 and i'm late!
I'm still late.
And i still don't know where i'm going.
I don't have any time to figure it out.
I'm already late!
Page 133 of 365.
5:18.
What time is it?
I'm late!
This is not what i have planned since midnight.
When it's 5:18, i shouldn't still be here in my room.
I should have been gone to the real world,
Working out my ass off like others.
I'm late!
How could i be so lazy?
Others have started their day earlier than me.
This is not right and i have to punish myself for being so lazy.
But not now, because i'm running out of time!
I'm late!
Okay, but where do i go from here?
Another stupidity.
I should have figured it out since midnight.
Look at them, who run surely to somewhere without any doubts about where they are heading.
Why can i be so stupid?
I'm late!
It's already 5:18 and i'm late!
I'm still late.
And i still don't know where i'm going.
I don't have any time to figure it out.
I'm already late!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
For The Fairest
Chapter Five.
Page 128 of 365.
For The Fairest.
A smile, for the fairest.
Sincerely presented when you were introducing me to your loved one.
Patheticly made up to pretend that i'm not hurt at all.
A laugh, for the fairest.
Heartily came out as you were talking to me, only me.
Painfully continued when i realized who you are talking about.
A stare, for the fairest.
Bashfully given from me to you whenever you catch me staring at you.
Filled with jealousy anytime you are holding that hand, not this hand.
A heart, for the fairest.
Carefully wrapped with all my sincerity and tears.
Subtly rejected with your sweetest smile.
A love, for the fairest.
Patiently kept in this pieces of heart.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Puzzled: Calypso's Song.
Chapter Five.
Page 126 of 365.
Puzzled: Calypso's Song.
What's right, what's wrong?
What's good, what's bad?
What's white, what's black?
If being with you is wrong, then i don't wanna be right.
If having you around is bad, then i don't want no good.
If our love is painted black, i will hate white for the rest of my life.
But, i'm not really sure of it.
You are worth fighting for but i don't want to hurt anyone.
You are a beautiful view to my heart but i can't stand seeing you hurt like this.
We make a great couple but you will be greater without me.
I can't help it, i'm addicted to you, my temporary bliss.
I will do anything for you.
I'm throwing away my faith just to call you mine.
I'm betraying God just to hold you close.
But i know it couldn't be like this.
I was designed to be alone.
It was my curse to feel hurt.
I deserve this pain somehow.
But, for once in my life, i claim my happiness before them.
But, is this right?
Screw them, i don't care what's right.
I only care about you.
Page 126 of 365.
Puzzled: Calypso's Song.
What's right, what's wrong?
What's good, what's bad?
What's white, what's black?
If being with you is wrong, then i don't wanna be right.
If having you around is bad, then i don't want no good.
If our love is painted black, i will hate white for the rest of my life.
But, i'm not really sure of it.
You are worth fighting for but i don't want to hurt anyone.
You are a beautiful view to my heart but i can't stand seeing you hurt like this.
We make a great couple but you will be greater without me.
I can't help it, i'm addicted to you, my temporary bliss.
I will do anything for you.
I'm throwing away my faith just to call you mine.
I'm betraying God just to hold you close.
But i know it couldn't be like this.
I was designed to be alone.
It was my curse to feel hurt.
I deserve this pain somehow.
But, for once in my life, i claim my happiness before them.
But, is this right?
Screw them, i don't care what's right.
I only care about you.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
A Secret I Could Never Tell.
Chapter Five.
Page 121 of 365.
A Secret I Could Never Tell.
Life is a mystery.
That's what makes it fun.
Everyday has its own chances to surprise you.
It's up to you, either we want to enjoy it or be discouraged because of its uncertainty.
We all have our own secrets.
The ones that we share it with our best friends.
The ones that we keep it even from our best friends.
And the ones that we keep even from ourselves.
It's fun to have secrets.
You have something to torture you in the middle of the night.
You have something to worry about.
You have something to make you slowly goes insane.
It's fun, isn't it?
Isn't it?
Yeah, sometimes we come to a point where you feel like you have fed up of everything.
And you want to spill out your secrets to the world.
Because you're tired, because you can't hold it any longer.
Because you want them just to understand you.
But it's just impossible.
There's no way everyone could understand you.
There's no way everyone just tap you on the shoulder and accept you for who you are.
People judge, people talk, and people hate.
It isn't unfair.
It's just life.
We have to fake a smile and just pretend that everything is okay.
Because the truth is no one is okay.
So, what's your secret?
Page 121 of 365.
A Secret I Could Never Tell.
Life is a mystery.
That's what makes it fun.
Everyday has its own chances to surprise you.
It's up to you, either we want to enjoy it or be discouraged because of its uncertainty.
We all have our own secrets.
The ones that we share it with our best friends.
The ones that we keep it even from our best friends.
And the ones that we keep even from ourselves.
It's fun to have secrets.
You have something to torture you in the middle of the night.
You have something to worry about.
You have something to make you slowly goes insane.
It's fun, isn't it?
Isn't it?
Yeah, sometimes we come to a point where you feel like you have fed up of everything.
And you want to spill out your secrets to the world.
Because you're tired, because you can't hold it any longer.
Because you want them just to understand you.
But it's just impossible.
There's no way everyone could understand you.
There's no way everyone just tap you on the shoulder and accept you for who you are.
People judge, people talk, and people hate.
It isn't unfair.
It's just life.
We have to fake a smile and just pretend that everything is okay.
Because the truth is no one is okay.
So, what's your secret?
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Imagining You
Chapter Four.
Page 113 of 365.
Imagining You.
Am i crazy?
They said, crazy people are the ones who imagine things when there's actually nothing there.
So, am i crazy?
I know you're there.
So, please, answer me.
Am i crazy?
They said, crazy means doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.
But, i'm not crazy, aren't i?
Please, this time only.
Answer me, i know you're listening.
I know you're there.
I know you are the one who wake me up everyday.
The one that watch me silently through the night.
The one who soothe me up when i catch a nightmare.
The one who cheer me up when i'm down.
The one who are listening to every word that i say but yet just stand there silently.
I know you care.
I know you still do.
Remember when things were in colors?
When every sound is a love song and every taste is sweet?
I know i'm not crazy because i know you're there.
So, please, talk to me like we used to.
And tell me that i'm not imagining you.
Page 113 of 365.
Imagining You.
Am i crazy?
They said, crazy people are the ones who imagine things when there's actually nothing there.
So, am i crazy?
I know you're there.
So, please, answer me.
Am i crazy?
They said, crazy means doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.
But, i'm not crazy, aren't i?
Please, this time only.
Answer me, i know you're listening.
I know you're there.
I know you are the one who wake me up everyday.
The one that watch me silently through the night.
The one who soothe me up when i catch a nightmare.
The one who cheer me up when i'm down.
The one who are listening to every word that i say but yet just stand there silently.
I know you care.
I know you still do.
Remember when things were in colors?
When every sound is a love song and every taste is sweet?
I know i'm not crazy because i know you're there.
So, please, talk to me like we used to.
And tell me that i'm not imagining you.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Unfaithfully, Yours.
Chapter Four.
Page 109 of 365.
Unfaithfully, Yours.
...
Umm, yes, where were we?
Oh, yes, you were talking about your new bag.
Oh, new bags.
Yes, it is interesting.
...
Those eyes.
Those smile.
They should not attract me.
Well, it is not attracting.
It's tempting me.
Ah, yes, dear.
Oh, okay.
Yes, you have to tell me more after you go to toilet.
"You're bored."
It's not a question, it's a statement.
You're like a mind reader, you know.
A cute mind reader.
"Is it obvious?"
"There is no guy could stand this kind of conversation."
"Unfortunately, she didn't aware of that."
"Oh, you must love her so much, you listen her patiently."
No, i'm not listening to her.
I'm mesmerized by you.
Page 109 of 365.
Unfaithfully, Yours.
...
Umm, yes, where were we?
Oh, yes, you were talking about your new bag.
Oh, new bags.
Yes, it is interesting.
...
Those eyes.
Those smile.
They should not attract me.
Well, it is not attracting.
It's tempting me.
Ah, yes, dear.
Oh, okay.
Yes, you have to tell me more after you go to toilet.
"You're bored."
It's not a question, it's a statement.
You're like a mind reader, you know.
A cute mind reader.
"Is it obvious?"
"There is no guy could stand this kind of conversation."
"Unfortunately, she didn't aware of that."
"Oh, you must love her so much, you listen her patiently."
No, i'm not listening to her.
I'm mesmerized by you.
...
How do you define love?
Is it a feeling that grows over time?
Or a butterfly-in-the-stomach feeling at the first sight?
Is it only for a special person?
Or you can love two people at the same time?
I don't know.
What i know now is,
i love you.
And her.
Whenever i see her smile, i'm happy.
As happy as when i hear your laughter.
Whenever i hold her hand, i'm happy.
As happy as when i hold your hand behind her.
Are we wrong for being happy?
Do we always have to be right to be happy?
Do we choose whom we get to love?
Isn't love is a grace, something we don't deserve to have but we receive it anyway?
She may be holding my hand but you are holding my heart.
Writer's note:
This post is inspired by a song made by a talented guy named Gregory Sukamto and sang beautifully by Chassya Andryska. Listen here.
Monday, April 15, 2013
A Fine Friday Evening With You.
Chapter Four.
Page 105 of 365.
A Fine Friday Evening With You.
You.
An obsession of mine.
A personification of perfection.
A reminder, for me, that there is still impossiblity in this world.
Are we friends?
Well, i'm not sure.
We knew each other, for sure.
And you smile back whenever i smile to you.
That smile.
That can light up my whole week.
That brings up a hope for me.
And for the same time, a tragedy.
And it happened.
I don't know how.
I don't know why.
It just happened.
We're going out.
Together.
You and me.
It's like a dream that comes true.
Sweet.
Laughters over laughters,
we told stories.
Time over time,
i stole glances.
And you smiled back at me.
And i was just so happy i couldn't breathe.
That one fine Friday evening,
i officially fell in love.
But the decision has to be made.
Should i choose my own happiness over the right thing?
Because I'm happy to be with you.
Are you happy to be with me?
Page 105 of 365.
A Fine Friday Evening With You.
You.
An obsession of mine.
A personification of perfection.
A reminder, for me, that there is still impossiblity in this world.
Are we friends?
Well, i'm not sure.
We knew each other, for sure.
And you smile back whenever i smile to you.
That smile.
That can light up my whole week.
That brings up a hope for me.
And for the same time, a tragedy.
And it happened.
I don't know how.
I don't know why.
It just happened.
We're going out.
Together.
You and me.
It's like a dream that comes true.
Sweet.
Laughters over laughters,
we told stories.
Time over time,
i stole glances.
And you smiled back at me.
And i was just so happy i couldn't breathe.
That one fine Friday evening,
i officially fell in love.
But the decision has to be made.
Should i choose my own happiness over the right thing?
Because I'm happy to be with you.
Are you happy to be with me?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)