Another Thought About Secret

Chapter Ten.

Page 289 of 365.

Another Thought About Secret.


What is your secret?


Everytime i go somewhere, whenever i meet people, i think of something: what is your secret?

Because i know the answer will always be a slight nod.
We all have secrets.
We all have something that we keep for ourselves, hoping that no one will find out about it.

Yet we sometimes give our friends clues about our secrets.
We sometimes share a piece of our secrets but never the complete story.
We are scared yet we want to be understood.

Sometimes i hate how i love writing.
Because i can not lie when i write.
I always be honest in my writing and it makes me share my deepest, darkest secret.
Bit by bit.

I told some of my friends a big chunk of my secrets.
I can't tell them the whole story.
It was hurting me to confess that secret.
And i knew that they would never understand but i'm still telling them the half story.

I always try to find someone who understand.
But it's not that easy.
People who have been through my secret tend to isolate themselves, just like me.
Well, some of my friends might tell me that they know me well.
But, actually, no one knows me that well.
Except, you have been through what i'm dealing with.

Sometimes, i found a person or two whom i thought will understand me completely.
But it's not that easy to share something with a total stranger.

Hey, i thought it actually is a good idea.
I prefer to share my secret with a total stranger so that i can feel relieved and don't have to bear the guilt of being judged.

You see, whenever i talk about it, i'm nervous.
I'm not being a good narrator, i skip moments because i have to censor some.

What i'm trying to tell you here is, we all have secrets.
Even when you think your BFF has shared all of his/her secrets with you, he/she still hides something.
It's not because they don't trust you.
Sometimes, it hurts so much for confessing the secret.

Don't push people to share their secrets with you.
Trust is earned, not demanded.
If people want to share their secrets, they will.

And the thing about secret is, it will surprise you.
Well, some facts might not surprise you. Maybe you always thought: yeah, he looks like it..
But really, the story is more complicated than that.

When people share their secrets, just listen for them.
Most people do it for the sake of themselves.
Not to show that they trust you.
They do it just because they will go crazy if they don't.

Yes, it's an honor to be shared a secret but you don't have to solve the problems unless they ask for it.
Be a good secret-keeper.
Don't secretly joke about it in front of your friends.
Really, please don't.
It makes the secret-owner nervous.

Don't we want to just scream and tell our secrets to the world?

I have a better idea.
Why don't i move somewhere faraway where no one knows me and start over new?
It's tempting and i am not over it.

Having a secret is not a choice.
A secret might come as a gift, wrapped in your favorite blue ribbon.
Just like the box of Pandora.
You just can do nothing with it yet it's seducing you to do something.

Having a secret is suck.

I don't think i can hold it any longer.