Just Do It

Chapter One.

Page 28 of 365.

Just Do It.


This week was messy.

I had to finish my exam project and it took so much effort on everything.

I was so scared because the flood on Jakarta was kinda messing up my plan since my team and i couldn't meet anywhere and one of my my team couldn't get out of his home. But finally, with God's grace, we finished it.

And it hit me right in my heart.

The key to do anything right is just to do it.

No other way.

When we were not doing anything on our project because of the flood, we were worried.

This is the thing with worrying.
It's giving you something to do but it didn't get you anywhere.
Just like a rocking chair.

But after we really did something on our work, we felt a slight relief.
"Ah, we did 60 pages today."
"Hey, we already did 100 pages."
Until it reached 280 pages and we stopped.
And amazed.

I don't know whether it sounds stupid or what, but for me, this little incident taught me a great lesson.

If you want to do something, just do it.

If you don't know what to do, do anything simple.
Don't just wait around and pretending that you're thinking about it.
Do something and you'll get an enlightenment.

Cheers.

No Answer

Chapter One.

Page 22 of 365.

No Answer.


...

...

...

...

Call ended.

Recall.

...

...

...

Leave your message after this sound.

Beep.


Sigh.


Hello, how are you?

I've tried to call you but you don't answer me.

So.. How are you?

I just want to know how you are doing right now.

I hope you're fine.


The flood..

I heard that your neighborhood is flooded, are you and your family okay?

Well, it has stopped raining now, you don't have to worry again.


And..

I think i saw you two weeks ago at the mall.

It's you, isn't it?

I want to call your name but i'm afraid it's a wrong guess since i didn't wear my glasses.

Actually, i'm more afraid that it was you but you didn't respond on purpose.


I heard you finally found a job here.

So happy you didn't have to go back to KL again.

I hate when you're not around.

Well, i hate more when you're around but we're not talking again.

But, this is your choice and i have to deal with it, right?


And by the way,

I have followed your advice.

I finally found my reason to be keen to study.

You remember that one, right?

"Try to fall in love first before you study. The one that you love will be the coal to your fire."

Well, i finally found my coal and it's you.


And, i probably say too much but..

I miss you.

Bye.

Not Alone

Alone.

Alone.

I heard that nobody could make it here alone.

But sometimes, being alone is not something that you choose.

Everyone stares at you.
Everyone watches every move you make.
Just to ignore you after the first glance.

Everything you do matters.
Every move you make is monitored.
Not because they care, just because you are alone.

Take a step forward.
They start to whisper.
To each other, not to you.

Retreat backward.
The buzz goes louder.
And it gives you nerve now.

You stand still.
They shout you words.
Okay, maybe now it's the right time to cry.

Why?
Why me?
Why now?
Why?

My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.

Yes.

Right.

Alone.
Nobody but nobody can make it here alone.

But, you are not and never be alone.

He is here and now with you.

You'll make them see soon.
You'll be the testimonial of God's grace.
You'll be crowned as the victor.
You'll win the race.

Just don't give up.
And know that He is always with you.

Soon, you'll make them see.
Soon.

Interview With Myself

Chapter One.

Page 18 of 365.

Interview With Myself.

Now, we’re going to talk about us.

Hold on, hold on. That comes out wrong.

We’re going to talk about ourselves.

How old are you?

I’m 20 going on 21 this year. This is the real counting but i feel like 10 since i still watch SpongeBob SquarePants every morning with my little cousins.

How about you?

What is your activity?

I’m a college student, on the third semester, majoring in Marketing Communication. Inside, i feel like i’m fed up of studying and i can’t wait any longer to make it on the real world. Truthfully, i’m scared to death when it comes to face the real world.

How about you?

What are your plans?

I’m going to be a communication/marketing/financial consultant. At least, that is the closest thing that i can do with my degree to my childhood dream, a psychologist. I always have this urge to start running my own business, like most of the Chinese descent guy. But, again, i think i’m still lacking of some things.

How about you?

What is your biggest dream?

Well, for now, it’s going on a trip to South Korea. LOL. But i always wanted to be a contributor on a newspaper or magazine, talking about anything and get paid for doing that. I never want to be a journalist, i want to be a contributor so i can write stuff on my own. And also, having my own consultant firm.

How about you?

What are you willing to trade with a million dollar?

Well, a sign of me? LOL. I don’t know.

How about you?

What is the first thing that comes your mind when you hear ‘career’?

Business owner. Well, i hope it’s a writer at the first time but business owner is the first thing in my mind for a career.

How about you?

What are you doing now?

Finding out myself. Finding out what i really wanna do in life. Finding out how i can make an impact and being significant to this messy world. Finding out how to be a succesful Christian guy. Finding out how to be independent on my 21st birthday.

How about you?

The best thing of life is not finding the ultimate destination.

It’s about making the most of you along the journey.

Never over think your life.

Make it simple.

Do what you love.

Leave the bad influence.

Live the life you always want to have.

Cheers.

Resemblance

Lie is like a piece of cake.

It’s always tempting but you know it’s bad.

Unfortunately, we always love dessert.

Love is like a high – maintenance sport car.

It makes you think you need it but you don’t deserve it.

But, at least, we enjoy the ride, don’t we?

Relationship is like the coolest gadget.

Having it is what we always wanted but we get bored after a while.

And the phone’s credit is going higher and higher.

Hate is like a mouthwatering supper.

We had enough what we needed but we think we need more.

And sometimes, it tastes good.

Flirting is like a bottle of a hot chili sauce.

A little drop makes everything better but it leaves mark on white shirt.

I remember you always love chili.

You are like a poem.

Easy to start but getting more and more complicated after a while.

Fortunately, i’m a big fan of a good poem.

When It's Raining Here

Chapter One.

Page 17 of 365.

When It's Raining Here.

Raining.

It’s raining.

It’s been a week and i start to wonder how you are doing.

Are you safe now?

Are you okay?

I hope you don’t catch a cold.

Put on your jacket whenever you go outside.

Don’t overtrain yourself at gym.

Stop eating too much sweets.

Be careful when you’re driving.

If there is anything that i can help, do let me know.

Why?

Because i care.

I just care.

Full stop.

Lying that we’re stranger for each other is tiring.

No matter what happened, i still care.

No, it’s not a sweet talk for us to get back together.

No, i don’t try to take any advantages of you.

But, yes, i still care.

The rain stops here.

How are you there?

I’m okay here.

I wish you were too.

Charge all your devices.

Do you want to run out of battery when the electricity was turned off like last year?

It’s better for you to stay at home.

It might get boring since i can’t just go there like i used to.

But it’s the best thing to do for now.

Hey.

The rain stops now.

Be safe.

Best or Right?

Chapter One.

Page 16 of 365.

Best or Right?

Life is hard.

We have to admit it.

No need to deny it.

It’s a fact.

Life is hard.

But actually it’s not.

Life is just life.

It has problems, yes.

It stabs us in the back.

It hurts us.

But, life is just being a life.

We always have options in life.

The option to be happy or not.

The option to fight back or not.

The option to live the life to the fullest.

Life is what you make it.

If it’s hard for you, then it’s your fault.

If you see happy people, it’s their effort.

Life is not about looking for the best one.

Life is about choosing the right one.

In life, what’s best always look better.

But the right one is always the best for us!

I made some mistakes in the past.

Wanting the best and ignoring the right one.

And i had to learn that in the hard way.

Life is about choosing.

Choosing what suits you best.

Choosing the right one for you.

Be thoughtful.

Prepared

Chapter One.

Page 14 of 365.

Prepared.

I posted a post inspired by my pastor’s sermon yesterday. In my opinion, that was one of his best sermon. It answers all my questions lately and just delivered perfectly.

One of the quotation that i remember is like this:

God doesn’t want you just to breakthrough something. He doesn’t want you just going to the next level.

He wants you to be able to enjoy the whole adventure.

When He’s not brought you to the level that you want yet, He wants you to be prepared first.

And today i just rethink this idea.

Well, in my life so far, there were some moments when i was waiting for God to bring me to the next level because i thought that i’m ready and He didn’t lift me up. I thought i could make it on the next level and i thought He hates me. But i realize now that i was wrong and He, as always, was right.

It’s like travelling, you know. When you want to have a vacation at, let’s say, South Korea, having the tickets only is not enough. Well, having the tickets is the starting point. But as soon as you get there, you can not enjoy the trip because you’re not fully prepared.

You need passport.

You need visa.

You need money.

You need to know where to go.

You need to learn how to do things in South Korea.

You need to be prepared.

Do you want to get to the next level or do you want to enjoy the whole next level?

I know waiting is tiring.

Waiting is boring.

So do not wait!

Instead of waiting, prepared yourself!

Learn all the things that you need to know about the next level.

Train yourself to enjoy the next level.

Enjoy the preparation moment and in no time,

You’ll be right where you want to be.

Cheers.

Right Response

Chapter One.

Page 13 of 365.

Right Response.


Bad things happen.
Bad things happen everytime.
Bad things happen to anyone.
Bad things happen even to the good people.

But the good people called as good people because they always give the good response, no matter what life throws at them.

The right response makes right living.

Life is not about choosing which way to go by ourselves.
As a Christian, i believe we have our own free will.
But, for me, life is about how you respond God's plan for you.

Because what God has in His mind is different from what on ours.
Because His plan is always greater and better.
He knows best. He knows what even better than the best.

It's like you on the ground floor and God is on the 25th floor.
You see your condition now as is.
But God sees it through.
He sees you make a breakthrough.
He sees you can break your own limit.
He sees you being a testimony of God's grace.

Only if you hold on till the end.
Only if you give the right response.
Only if you're connected to Him.

I'm on tough times now.
And i spent my days protesting God before i got this revelation.
God loves us THAT much.
God loves us THAT much, He let His own son died in the cross for EVERYONE.

It's never too late to believe in Him and start a new beginning with Him.
And it's always too soon to give up.
Hold on.
And give the right response.

Smile.
You're not alone.

Be happy.
God have your back.

Be brave.
You are going to have a breakthrough this year.
And breakthrough only happens for them who don't give up.

Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

-God, on Matthew 11:30.

Inspired by Ps. Jeffrey Rachmat's sermon on JPCC third service, January 13th 2013.

Safe

Chapter One.

Page 11 of 365.

Safe.

Future is unsure.

And it always gives me nerve.

What will happen next?

Can i make it through?

I often regret what i did in the past

because i’m too scared of the consequences.

What if i can’t bear it?

What if it hurts me?

Thinking of what might come to me

sometimes brings me down.

I know i’m lacking in anything.

I know i’m not always good enough.

I look around and amazed.

How do they have a very smooth life?

I wish i could be like them.

Spend the days in smile, not worry.

Everytime i try to be brave,

i always find a way to convince myself that i’m not.

“Look at all the mess around you.

Look at your life.”

Even when i take the first step

and for a while, everything looks good.

A little storm will always come.

And turns my world upside down.

Sometimes i pray.

Sometimes i cry out for help.

Most of my prayers and wishes remain unanswered.

Most of them vanish in the dark.

I try not to give up.

I try to hold on and believe.

“This is temporary.

I have made this far, i will make it again this time.”

Still, i get disappointed sometimes.

Having faith means you let go the control of your life.

Having faith means put your trust in Him.

Having faith makes me look stupid most of the time.

And then i learn that it’s not my plan that will happen.

It’s His.

It’s not my will that will be done.

It’s His.

So be it unto me, Lord.

According to Your Words.

According to Your promises.

According to Your will.

I know you always get my back.

I’m safe now.

As always.

Song of Silence

This silence is familiar.

It sounds just like us.

When we only sit and smile at each other.

This silence means happiness.

The happy feelings i feel whenever i see you.

You, the only one who made me this way.

This silence tastes so sweet.

As sweet as your laughter to my ears.

Or like your smile to my eyes.

This silence smells good.

Like your sweet perfume on the Sunday morning.

Tempting every inches of me to hold you closer.

This silence feels right.

It feels right like you for me.

Like the way we should be.

This silence now hurts.

It hurts now when we stop talking.

When we start to ignore each other.

This silence now hurts.

Like your last words to me.

One's Love

Chapter One.

Page 9 of 365.

Love..?

Love (noun): a stupid feeling that makes you do the stupidest thing you ever imagined.

When is the right time to fall in love?

When you fall in love with the right one.

How to know that he or she is the right one?

When you fall in love at the right time.

“Wow, you’re so pumped about your study.”

“I’ve got a reason. I fall in love. When you’re in love, you’d do anything better. Maybe you should try to fall in love first before you study.”

Two people.

March, 25th 2011.

No hunch.

No hope.

No wish.

Just a chat between two people.

October, 13th.

One's birthday.

The other one should have known that it’s going to be the end.

Since having only two words as a reply.

They barely knew each other.

But why does the love in One subsist?

One try to forgive.

One try to forget.

He can’t.

One promise to get over the other one.

One promise he will be fine.

He's not.

Is this what they call love? When you have it, it becomes a burden. But without it, you’re lonely. – Kang Gary (Running Man).

Walk On Water - Tim Hwang

Unanswered questions I look
but nothing here.
This searching of what
I am becoming isn’t clear
but You never give me up.

All my failures and all the mess I make
can never separate me
from the love You give. Your plan has no mistakes.

I hear Your voice
and that’s enough for me to rise again.
I will rejoice, in perfect strength I gain

Even through the storms
and crashing waves,
the goodness of my God will keep me safe so I’m taking steps on the water
for Your hand is holding me.

Every move I make will testify
Your miracles that none can deny
so I’m taking steps on the water.
I no longer am afraid. You are with me.

All my failures and all the mess I make
can never separate me
from the love You give.
Your plan has no mistakes.

I hear Your voice
and that’s enough for me to rise again.
I will rejoice, in perfect strength I gain.

Even through the storms
and crashing waves,
the goodness of my God will keep me safe
so I’m taking steps on the water
for Your hand is holding me.

Every move I make will testify
Your miracles that none can deny
so I’m taking steps on the water.
I no longer am afraid. You are with me.

Jesus, You wipe the tears away.
Now I see, it’s a brand new day.
Jesus, You are the only way.
I’ll trust and obey.

Even through the storms
and crashing waves,
the goodness of my God will keep me safe
so I’m taking steps on the water
for Your hand is holding me.

Every move I make will testify
Your miracles that none can deny
so I’m taking steps on the water.
I no longer am afraid. You are with me.

The Anger of Perfection

Chapter One.

Page 8 of 365.

Anger.

Being a perfectionist is a blessing, some people say.

Perfectionists are good in making things happen, they say.

But, the truth is, being a perfectionist means you are being a good friend to anger.

Do you know how hard it is for a perfectionist not to have the best result because his teammates just are not as good as him?

Do you know how tired it is for a perfectionist to do all the things by himself just because he’s scared that the result is not the best one?

Do you know how upset he will be when things don’t go as he’s planned because others don’t have as much concerns on it as he does?

Do you know how confused he is, thinking maybe he sets the bar too high or maybe others don’t want to sweat themselves?

Do you know that he keeps all the anger to himself?

YES. YOU DON"T KNOW AND HE IS MAD NOW.

Tired of being too hard trying yet things still don’t go as he’s planned because of others.

Tired of seeing his fate hanging on others, even his family, that seems like they’re not that care with his future.

Tired of everything.

Tired that this anger can’t be expressed brutally.

Shit, if there’s one thing a  perfectionist – introvert can not do, it’s expressing the anger.

Sing!

Hello, readers.

Just a quick post today.

I want to tell you that..

I finally made a soundcloud account! Hahaha.

Push that follow button and i'll follow you back.

Here's my profile.

I had posted three sounds.

First, a live duet between me and Katherine on her church in 2010.
We sang Juru Selamatku by True Worshippers / Ruth Sahanaya.
Take time to hear her beautiful voices here.
Her voice is no joke.
Please listen until the end, my favorite part starts at 04:17 till the end.
Hahaha.

The second is my acoustic solo version of the same song.
I recorded it when i have a sorethroat so i went a little lower.
Here is the sound.

The last one is Through It All by Hillsong.
Well, i recorded it in the same day with Juru Selamatku Acoustic version so it's kinda.. Rough.
Hahaha. Well, take a second to comment. Listen here.

Fell free to follow me at soundcloud and twitter!

Cheers!

Regrets

Chapter One.

Page 5 of 365.

Regrets.

The art of using the past as an excuse to stop enjoying the present.

If you had the choice to fix your past, would you?

If you had the choice to do, or not to do, something back in the past, would you?

Even if it means it will change your present?

We all made mistakes.

We all did something wrong.

We all lost a once-in-a-lifetime chance.

We all have regrets.

But that doesn’t mean you have to moan it for your entire life.

Yeah, maybe our past make us suffer now but that is the consequences.

Every choice has its own consequences.

Sometimes none of them are easier.

It doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

It means you are going through the defining moment of your life.

Still, i also wish i could change some things on my past.

But when i think of it again now, i’m afraid if i have to lose what i already had now.

Change means change.

It’s not always better but it will always be different.

Our mistakes limit us to achieve our best.

But, the good news is:

You are not defined by your mistakes, or regrets, or past.

Now, whenever you think of your regrets,

Look around and focus on things you like.

Say to yourself:

“I’m grateful for who i am now and now i’m where i want to be.

No matter how hard the condition is for me,

I’ll make it through.”

Life is good.

Life is good.

Cheers.

Learn To Hurt, Learn To Disappoint

Chapter One.

Page 4 of 365.

Lies.

We all have lied every now and then. No matter what the reason is. Maybe you thought that what you said is what so-called white lie. Or it’s just a lie that won’t hurt anyone. Or it’s just a simple little lie. The truth is, lie is just lie.

I have lied. 

Sometimes lies come out easier than the truth. Sometimes another lie is needed to make up for the earlier one. Sometimes i thought i was protecting some people with the lies. It’s all wrong. But i think i didn’t have any chance to say the truth. Or i thought i didn’t.

The truth is we all did have the chance, actually.

Yes, we did.

Yeah, i know sometimes the situation trapped us in the corner and the lies come out smoothly as our self – defense mechanism. It just comes out naturally. But we always have the choice to speak out the truth.

Lies often comfort us and the truth hurts.

For temporary.

Not in a long term.

Someday, there will be a price to pay. And the cost is always out of our capability to pay.

Stop telling lies.

Learn to hurt.

Learn to disappoint.

Learn to tell the truth.

Learn to do the right thing.

Dear My Family - SM Artist

Hey, guys.

I just wanna share this video for you.

Just watch the video even though you don't speak Korean.

This 5 minutes video has successfully made me appreciate my family more and give me a courage through some hard times since i first heard this song.

There will always be some people who always love you, always understand you, always give you courage and simply always be there for you.

They are your family and friends.

Take a time to say thanks for your family and friends.

Tell them how much you love them.

Don't take them for granted.

Dear my family..

Thank you. :)

Dedicated for my family, The Gouws and DATE Apartemen Semanggi 2.

The Best Memory Is When You Choose To Make A Change

Chapter One.

Page 2 of 365.

What do you see when you’re lookin to the past?

Do you see your childhood and laugh because of your cute acting to get ice cream?

Do you see your teenager moments and smile for your shyness whenever your crush passed by?

Do you smirk a little when you remember the first time you got drunk from the party?

Are you, above all, happy?

Memories are what we’re creating every now and then. Everything you do now matters. Everything you do now impacts your future. Everything you do now carves forever in your mind and heart. Everything you do now should worth remembering. Make the best impression for your future – self.

The best thing you can do for your future is make the most of your present. When you’re doing good things, you’re actually doing yourself a favor. You give your future – self a smile.

Maybe you’re going through the hell of your life right now and now feels like the best time to give up. Stay strong. Push through it. Bound yourself with your family and friends and ask them to help you make it through. Do whatever it takes but never ever ever give up.

Maybe you’re just lonely now. You feel that you are all alone in this crowded place. Your family are so far away. Your friends seem like they got themselves new cooler-than-you buddies. You don’t know who to talk to and tears are just falling every night. Get out. Don’t throw yourself into a pity party. Help others. Be significant to this messy world. Call your mom or dad or your brothers. Do whatever it takes but never ever ever give up.

Or maybe you’re suffering now. You are hopeless with your condition. People say to just give up. Hold on. Pray and say your gratitude to God. Smile and believe you are blessed. Get yourself a present for not giving up that easily. Do whatever it takes but never ever ever give up.

All of us are going though tough stuffs where we feel like we are at the bottom of the world.

But, aren’t all of us feeling the same?

Doesn’t it make us on the same level now?

Stop being so into yourself.

Open yourself for a change.

Let people, the good ones, come.

Forgive and smile.

Help others.

Pray eventually.

Do whatever it takes but never ever ever give up.

Choose to make today the best memory of your life where you stand up for yourself and change the fate.

Forget You

Forget you.

Can i?

Yes, i know i can.

But it’s not about the ability that matters.

What matters is availability.

Do i want to?

Forget you.

Should i?

Yes, i know i should.

But i’m not moving on.

I prefer to suffer from what is familiar to me.

I prefer to hurt by you.

Forget you.

Have i tried?

Yes, i’ve tried.

But it doesn’t work.

How can you forget so many memories,

Even though most of them are fake?

Forget you.

Will i?

1 of 365

Twenty first book.

Chapter one.

Page one.

Hello.

How are you?

It’s not the first time we talk and i don’t wish it would be the last.

So...

Is it strange for you, to be like this?

For me, it is.

You used to be what i would live for.

But now,

Yeah, well, everything changes and people move on.

Do you still order Pearl Milk Tea at Chatime?

Do you still do Capoeira?

Do you still love Angry Birds?

Do you even still remember me?

I always knew that i wasn’t a part of your world.

And i know that maybe i’m not going to be.

Though it hurts to accept the fact,

Some parts of me still want to hold on to the memories,

Maybe.

Maybe someday.

Maybe someday i’ll be good enough for you.

Maybe someday fate will make us meet again.

Maybe someday we will start over new.

Maybe someday.

Maybe.

Yeah, hope so.

Welcome, 2013!

Hello, 2013!!

This year is gonna be all about breakthrough and miracles!

So, i want to say Happy New Year to all of my readers here. Though i never get what we are actually celebrating on New Year.. Happy New Year!

So, what are your plans for this year?

Get a job?

Losing weight?

Gaining weight?

Get married?

Graduate college?

I pray for all your wishes to come true but.. keep all the wishes in your pocket and work your ass off to make it real. Hard work is the price to get what you want, people. Remember it.

I do have some of things i want to achieve this year.

Like, i still wish i would have straight A’s for all my subjects on one semester. Well, the average so far is A but i always get one or two B+ on some subjects. Better work harder this year. Woot.

I’m also willing to work on my business starting this year. I had some ideas from last year but i was still too afraid to work on it. But not this year. I’m gonna work it out even if it kills me. LOL. Not that extreme but it motivates me. I’m going to make some pretty cash this year.

And like some other teenagers and young adults, i will lose some weight this year. Yeah, say goodbye to this flabby stomach soon. ;)

I will go travelling this year. South Korea is the ultimate destination so maybe if one of my readers can help me, please...? ;)

I will appreciate my life more. I know i’m blessed and gifted and loved and nothing, even some bad temporary condition, will change this fact.

I will save more and spend less this year.

And for some silly things to do, i want to go to club on my 21st birthday! Hahaha. i know there’s no chance i’m gonna like being in a club since there’s smoke and all but i want to try it once when i’m officially legal. 

And i’m not gonna get drunk. I’ve tasted Bailey’s and beers and i don’t like it.

To summarize it all, i’m gonna live my life to the fullest and still be responsible of it.

Welcome, the year of breakthrough and miracles!

Welcome, 2013!