Monday, December 31, 2012

The Last Thought About You

The light burns me but the darkness scares me.
White refuses me but black runs from me.
Truth hurts me but lie doesn’t comfort me.
The past abuses me but the future creeps me.
Silent makes me cry but noise doesn’t give me joy.
Dream deceives me but reality arrests me.
Love kills me but hate doesn’t match me.

I’m never really sure about what should i feel.
About you.
About me.
About us.

Sometimes, i wish we never met.
Sometimes, i’m grateful for our meetings.
Most of the times, i’m just confused.

For making you don’t feel the way i do, it’s my mistake.
For loving you more than you do to me, it’s my mistake.
For thinking you are mine, it’s my mistake.
For falling in love with you, it’s my mistake.

Sorry.
Sorry for always bothering you.
Sorry for always hoping we could start over new.
Sorry for stuck on while you have moved on.
Sorry for imagining things that never happened.

Too much hopes spend on us.
Too much times wasted for us.
Too much lies made up for us.
Too much love i had for you.

It’s almost two years.
That almost two years, never a day spent without thinking of you.
I know i’m stupid when it comes to love.
I know i’m stupid when it comes to you.

For the last time, let me say my gratitude for you.
Thank you.
Thank you for once talked to me.
Thank you for once gave me laughter.
Thank you for hurting me.
Thank you just for being you.
Thank you.

Welcome, New Beginning!


 It’s the last day of 2012, year where some good laughter have been made and some painful tears have been wiped away. No matter how sweet or painful it was, it’s time to say goodbye to 2012 and get ready for 2013.

Get ready to start over new.

I always kind of liking new year. For me, new year means a brand new start. We should forget what happened in the last year and make a new notes starting the new year. New year means new start for me and i always symbolize it with buying an organizer. Though most of them ran out of paper in the first quarter of the year because i took so many notes in it, new organizer gives me new hope. It tells me that i can start over eveything. It tells me that future is bright, once again.

I made so many good memories in 2012.
I got my first job at Louis Vuitton that only lasted a week because my part time schedule didn’t match me too well.
I got new friends at the new class where i was elected as the President.
I got new friends at my DATE Apartemen Semanggi 2, my cool second home.
I had new niece at Christmas’ Eve.
I took COL class at my church and it changed my life direction.
I met cool and awesome new mentors.
I didn’t get what i want at all this year and i’m sad but i’m alive.

Looking back on 2012, i’m grateful that God didn’t and never leave my side. I’ve been through some tough conditions where i thought, at that time, God didn’t love me that much but life only can be understood backwards.

I’m grateful and thankful for what has happened in 2012. I apologize for everything i did wrong, intentionally and unintentionally. I guess i’m ready for 2013 now.

Welcome, new beginning.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Dogs, Ana, and Mia: A Thought on Fears


Fears.

Everyone, i guess, has their own fears. Fear of dogs, fear of deaths, fear of speaking in front of people, fear of being left behind, fear of spider, fear of heights, fear of being obese, fear of being skinny, and so on. It may sound silly for some others but for the one who has the fear, it’s practically logical to be feared of it.

I’m not a fearless man. I have my own fears. Dogs, for instance. Bring to me even the most cutest puppy in the world and i can turn into a stone statue in a second, not being able to move at all. I entertained some people, most of them are my relatives and families, with my fear of dogs. I suddenly lost my mind when i meet those four legs furry animal.

Another story about fears, i have a friend whose fear is gaining weight. The funniest part is this friend is a guy. I thought this anorexia thing only happen to girls but i was wrong. Even he admitted that he was with anorexia and bulimia, he called them ana and mia. LOL. At first, his fear is okay to me. I mean, we have our own fears and he haven’t seen me react with dogs so i don’t want to judge his fears about weight gaining. He’s in a great shape, actually. Well, he was chubby but i never thought it would lead him into ana and mia.  He worked out like a mad man and eat normally but as soon as he reached home, he hurled himself to calm himself down. It happened for almost three years. Now, i can proudly announced that my friend finally broke up with ana and mia.

Sometimes, i thought fear is a good thing. Fears make us to do something we can not do in sane condition. I run faster to avoid dogs. My friend worked out like a ninja to avoid weight gaining. Somehow, it motivates us to break the limit to make ourselves in the comfort zone.

But, still, fears have negative impacts too. On the polar opposites of the advantage which is breaking the limit for us, it also limits us to go further in life. When my friend and his ana and mia are in a relationship, i saw him suffered a lot. Not physically, but mentally. He was a cheerful guy around us but inside, i know, that he was too concious about his physical appearance. A joke about his looks would he took as an offensive comment.

I know it’s so damn hard to fight our own fears. I still can not tolerate dogs, no matter how had i try. I mean, i watched Hachiko and try to picture every dog just as good as Hachiko but it didn’t work. It takes time but the key is you’re trying.

Well, that’s all for tonight, people.

Cheers.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

The Ballad of the Happiest Boy in The World


One day, there was a boy who loved to sit alone at the corner.
He was shy, very shy.
He caught up in his own world, made by his creative imagination.
He was happy.

He were a pirate once.
He went to the darkest cave and found a land full of dinosaur.
He searched for the treasure, guarded by the dragons.
He was happy.

Then, came a friend to his corner one day.
This friend introduced our little boy to a new world,
A world where the adventure was more intense and way cooler.
He was happier.

Together, they spent their days in awe.
More and more, our little boy felt different feelings towards his friend.
Stronger than ever, he felt that they are more than just friends.
He was the happiest boy in the world.

Until one day, his friend didn’t come again to his corner.
He was left alone like he used to be.
But our little boy just patiently waited for his friend.
He was happy waiting for his friend.
He was happy.

“You know what’s wrong with that guy?”
“He’s been like that for years. He is imagining things.”

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Silly Simple Feeling


Have you ever been wondering what makes two people could be in love with each other?

What does it take to get the feelings requited?

How to make the feelings last for long?


They said, it takes two to tango and to love.

No matter what you feel, if he doesn't feel the same way like you do,

It's not love. It's just a stupid feelings.


Sometimes, it's easier to keep the feelings inside

than have to face the consequences of expressing it.

It's not fair but i guess it's just the way life rolls.


You can not love them secretly.

Maybe the best thing you could hope is that

Faith is gonna make it up for you two.


But feeling, sometimes, has its own expiration date.

This is the best part because you can tell

Whether it is love or just a simple crush.


So close yet still so far to the happy ever after.

They say, it just takes a simple three words to get there.

If only you could say those words.


Silly.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Happy Christmas! :)


It’s the December 24th which means tonight is the Eve of Christmas. For all of my readers, Happy Christmas for you all. Whether you celebrate it or not, Christmas is still for everyone. Wish you all the best day of the year.

I just want to share what Christmas is from my point of view. On my teenage years, Christmas always spelled as B-U-S-Y. I was always in charge of the Youth Christmas Celebration at my previous church. 

Don’t get me wrong, i totally love being busy for Christmas. I love doing something for others. But, as time goes by, i felt like it’s not supposed to be like this every Christmas.

Since i moved to JPCC, i learned to be a good congregation. I sit at the hall with other congregations, not running all my way here and there, busy preparing for the services to run out smoothly like what i always did in my previous church. I was thinking, i was being Maria, not Martha finally.

It’s almost the third year i’ve been moved to JPCC. I had participated in some events but not as busy as i was in my previous church. I thought i was happy. But it turns out that doing nothing is not good for me.

Then i come up to a conclusion:

CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT THE FREEDOM OF DOING WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU AND FOR OTHERS.

IF BEING BUSY HELPS YOU TO FEEL WHAT CHRISTMAS IS, THEN IT’S GOOD.

WHAT MATTERS THE MOST IS THAT JESUS BEING THE CENTER OF IT ALL.

Cheers.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Now Playing: Memories.


Have you ever wondered what might have been if you didn’t do, or did, some things in the past? Are you missing something good or are you making the right choice at that time?

Pertanyaan itu lagi gue pikirin selama beberapa hari belakangan ini. Kalo misalnya mundur ke tiga tahun belakang dan gue bisa mulai kehidupan gue dari saat itu lagi, gue pasti akan melakukan beberapa tindakan yang berbeda since i know what i have to deal with if i don’t make any changes.

Tapi hal itu malah bikin gue mikir, bukannya setiap pilihan kita tetap akan ada konsekuensinya? Bukan karena satu pilihan terlihat kurang baik berarti pilihan lain lebih baik, kan?

Looking back is good, it’s always been a good therapy to do sometimes. It makes us grateful and realize how far we have gone. It makes us smile at the stupid things we did. It makes us happy when we remember the sweet moments we made. It gives us the reason why the tough things happened. Looking back sometimes is good.

Tapi, setelah merenung dan berpikir ulang lagi, i’m grateful for anything. What happened in the past makes what i am today and i love me today.

Yang paling penting dalam hidup ini adalah memilih. Bukan memilih apa yang benar atau apa yang baik karena semua hal itu relatif dan kontekstual. The art of life is making the moments that are worth to remember for the rest of our lives.

Cheers.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

8 Best Korean Ballad Songs (Part One)


Despite of the language barrier, these are some of the ballad songs that i found perfectly to be heard when you are driving in the rain alone. What makes it perfect, even if you're not speaking Korean, you still can grab the inner feelings of the song once you heard it. Okay, get some tissue because these songs are the ultimate teardropper.

8. Lonely – 2NE1
This song tells aboout the loneliness of one side in a relationship while they are still being together. No matter how hard you try to keep the fire on, the feeling seems like has faded away with time. Eventhough i haven’t felt the real connection with the song, this is a song that many people can relate to, if they were honest with themselves.

Best lyric part (in English translation):
Baby, i’m sorry, eventhough with you, i’m lonely.

7. Dear Mom – Girls’ Generation / SNSD
I never thought if it possible to fall in love with 9 girls at one time but after hear this song, i bet you will instantly love them. This song tells us about a grown up girl, living all alone by herself but she found that she is as she is now because of her mother that always love her unconditionally. Sing it at the Mother’s Day and it will make your mom cries, for sure, even though she doesn’t get the lyrics. Oh, the best part of the song is that Yuri got a whole verses to sing!

Best lyric part:
Though I’ve made hurtful wrong choices, you silently watched over me from behind (This is Yuri’s part, by the way).

6. No Matter How I Think About It – Sweet Sorrow
This song maybe sound familiar to you if you play Audition AyoDance or watch Running Man. This song was sung by Sweet Sorrow, a four male group that may not as famous as Super Junior yet but they definitely can sing!

Best lyric part:
If i just be a little more honest I’m in the point that hurts too much, the point that i look at you with the lonely eyes.

5. One Man – Kim Jong Kook
Okay, first of all, he is like the best ballader of Korean singers. Second of all, this song expresses collective souls of guys that can’t tell their feelings to their beloved ones but already happy seeing them from afar. No need for further explanation. If you can’t relate to this song, you are either a robot or just plain dumbfounded.

Best lyric part:
There’s a girl who doesn’t know i’m like this. Who receives love but don’t know that it is love.

4. Mistake – Girls’ Generation / SNSD
Eventhough they are famous for their dance songs, SNSD has some good ballads to listen to. I posted the lyric of the demo version, originally titled Watching Over Me, some days ago. Another surprise, though Yuri only get a single line in this song, the lyric is written by her! This after break-up song tells us about a girl that humbly admits that the break up was because of her who is lacking of anything.

Best lyric part:
I knew i couldn’t have you but my love for you just kept growing.

3. A Girl Meets Love – K Will & Tiffany Hwang
This is not a song. It’s a story about a young girl and a man that love each other, told in a perfect musical way. Epic. Way too epic. Tiffany and K Will should sing more often together. Can’t even imagine anyone sings this better than them but i would give Yuri a shot.

Best lyric part:
I know I’m bad but I can’t let you go. Let me have your name and the memories of you.

2. You Wouldn’t Answer My Calls – 2AM
2AM might not be as famous as their dongsaengs, 2PM, but if it comes to quality, you have to agree that they sound better than Taecyeon and gangs. The only thing that bad of this song is the music video. They should have made it simpler because the song is already strong on its own. This song is about regret, regret, and much regret, something that we all can always relate to often.

Best lyric part:
No matter how I beg for forgiveness, there’s already no use.

1.      Tears Are Falling – Shin Jae
This is it. Best of the best. This song sums up my and many people’s emotion perfectly. Do you know that feelings of being happy and sad at the same time? Happy, because you get the one you love by your side. Sad, because the one that you love will never be yours. And when you cry, those are the most painful tears you ever had for someone.. If you read this and imagine of someone.. Yes, the one that you love.. :’)

Best lyric part:
Tears are falling again because i want to see you. I choked on my tears, I swallowed the words that i love you.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

life is stupid

life is stupid.

i mean, we got to live with people's expectation and rules which are, for me, most of then just doesn't make any sense. i hate it when what i'm dying to do seems as something bad to do. no, i don't talk about doing stupid crime like killing people. there are some other things i want to do that still look as something bad to do.

now i'm gonna leave you here wondering what is that.

have you ever been tired of doing the good deeds and still trapped in the mediocrity?

have you ever been tired of doing the good things for others and put yourself aside?

it's like being altruistic is the thing that you have to do for the rest of your sorry life.

even when it comes to some private things. i mean, does it hurt you to see others happy, people? does it offend you when others are making their own happiness? why some have to bear the consequences from what others are doing? 

life is stupid.

sucks.

stupid things

great things happen when we don't expect it.

like you.

i never had any expectations when we first talk.
i just like to have a chat with anyone.

and then time goes by.

i realized i was wrong.
i don't like to have a chat with anyone.
i like to have a chat with you.
only you.

stupid things.
dreams.
wisdom.
stupid things.
that's what we always talked about.
we just make the most of the times when we talked.

and even when we talked about relationship.
your relationship.
i don't have any burden or anything.
i was happy because you were happy when you talked about it.

stupid things.
dreams.
wisdom.
stupid things.

it's just silly how i remember the first day we talked to each other.
boredom, it's what makes us have a chat.

ah, those great times now are just memories.

are you  out there now bored?

i am.
and i know what can make me smile..

stupid things.

watching over me - jenny hyun (snsd's original demo of mistake)

When we said our last goodbye 
There was so much still on my mind 
But I kept it all inside


The world can be a crazy place 
You forget all the things you want to say 
And let the moment slip away 

How I wish that I have time to make you see 
How everything you did
It really mattered to me 


You always told me that I should never let up 
Hold my head up high 

You always told me that I should never give up 
Reach for the sky 
Said you’ll be looking out for me 
No matter what we’re going to be 
Are you out there now? 
Watching over me.. 

So many times I long to see you 
To just pick up the phone and call you 
So we could talk like we used to
 
I wonder what you think of me now 
Even though I’m still trying to figure it out 
I wonder if I make you proud 

How I wish that I have time to make you see 
How everything you did
It really mattered to me 


You always told me that I should never let up 
Hold my head up high 
You always told me that I should never give up 
Reach for the sky 
Said you’ll be looking out for me 
No matter what we’re going to be 
Are you out there now? 
Watching over me.. 

Never the one to misunderstand 
Never the one to hold back your hand (day after day) 
Stood by me day after day 
Made me believe I’ll find my way 
Are you out there now? 
Are you out there now?
 
You always told me I should never let up 
Hold my head up high (hold my head up high) 
You always told me that I should never give up (wish you are still be my side
Reach for the sky 
Said you’ll be looking out for me (say you’ll be looking out for me
No matter what we’re going to be (oohhh yeah) 
Are you out there now? 
Watching over me.. 

Oh, yes you are 
You are out there now 
Watching over me 

Saturday, December 1, 2012

hello, goodbye, and anything in between

Meetings are happy,

partings are sad,

everything is just a moment.


No, i didn't make the quotes. i found it on wikipedia when i was wandering around and ended up reading about a Korean actor that commited a suicide after being open about his sexuality. it's a sad story though. and i read it while snsd's mistake played on replay as backsong.

i've been thinking about life more often lately. i don't mean to be so dramatic but yeah, it really gave me goosebumps, to think that life is, in fact, going on and on between happiness, sadness, and moments.

think about the most happy time you ever had.

now think about the most sad time you ever been through.

now think about any random day of your life.

...

...

...

which one is the hardest?

if your brain works in the same frequencies as mine, you'll find that the last one is the hardest thing to do.

we only remember two moments, the happy ones and the sad ones. no one remembers any random event.

what does your life consist of? sad moments or the happy ones?

everything we did, it matters to us and anyone else.

when you read the first sentence, do you think about a particular someone on the first two lines?

i do think about someone. and i totally agree about it.

meeting is happy. parting is sad, even devastating. and everything in between is.. :)

anytime i hear or see the name, i still feel this little ticklish feeling. hahaha.

i actually don't know what i want to write or why i suddenly write about that particular someone but i think looking back is always good sometimes.

even better is, recalling the past and find myself smiling like an idiot that i still could have some moments spend with you.. :)

Monday, November 26, 2012

train, bus, and handphone: a thoughts of responsibilities


Hey, readers.

Udah berapa hari belakangan ini, kereta rel listrik yang menjadi andalan gue buat berangkat ke kampus gak tersedia di Stasiun Bogor. Ini karena ada longsor di jalur menuju Bogor jadi keretanya hanya bisa sampai dua stasiun sebelum Bogor. Jangan ditanya apa efeknya. Gue sekarang harus naik bis ke kampus, yang cukup memiliki banyak permasalahan.

Naik bis berarti gak ada kepastian lu bisa berangkat atau sampai kampus jam berapa. Belum juga karena gak ada kereta di Bogor, orang – orang yang biasanya naik kereta juga pilih naik bis. Akibatnya, bis jadi penuh. Bahkan tadi sempet gak ada bis karena semua udah berangkat karena udah penuh penumpang. Naik bis ke arah Kalideres mengakibatkan gue boros karena gue harus naik taksi atau ojek ke kampus setelah turun di Slipi. Sebenernya bisa naik transjakarta tapi karena ketidakpastian jadwal sampai di Slipi, ya seringnya jadi naik taksi atau ojek. Belum juga kadang gue dapet duduk di kursi darurat di belakang bis yang sangat menyiksa bagi orang dengan tinggi tubuh lebih dari 175 cm. Intinya, saya mau kereta kembali secepatnya. (Berita di TV bilang, kereta paling cepat beroperasi normal itu dalam tiga minggu.)

Oke, udah beres curhatnya tentang masalah hidup saya. Sekarang saya mau berbagi pemikiran saya dengan saudara – saudara sekalian.

Beberapa hari belakangan ini, dikarenakan satu dan lain hal, i don’t use handphones again. Sama sekali. When i first told this to my friends, they looked at me, shocked as if i told them that i have leukimia.

Reaksi umum semuanya adalah: Jadi sekarang lu pakai apa?

Jawaban gue: Gak pakai apa – apa.

Reaksi umum #2 adalah: Jadi gue kalo mau hubungin lu gimana?

Jawaban gue: *sedikit seneng karena ternyata orang – orang banyak yang mau cariin gue.. atau mereka mau nagih utang pulsa gue. darn* Kalo mau hubungin gue, ya ke e-mail atau sms aja. Nanti gue cek nomor hape gue beberapa hari sekali kalo bisa.

Reaksi umum #3 adalah: Sakit jiwa lu yak? Jaman sekarang gak pake HP bikin susah orang aja.

...

...

The last sentence got me thinking a lot.

Kenapa keputusan gue gak memakai HP malah jadi dibilang bikin susah orang lain? Selama gue pake HP selama kurang lebih 6 tahun terakhir, gue baru pernah dapet berita yang menurut gue sangat darurat hanya sekali pas gue SMP. Saat Opa gue meninggal. Itupun karena kejadiannya Hari Minggu dan gue sedang tidak bersama keluarga gue. Selain itu, gue belum pernah merasakan fungsi HP sebagai alat pengabar darurat.

Fungsi lain HP kan mempermudah komunikasi. In my defense, nowadays, it’s not relevant again. Gue masih bisa berkomunikasi lewat media sosial yang gue akses lewat laptop. Malah, jadi gak terlalu banyak makan waktu buat baca twit gak penting atau status yang isinya curhatan galau.

Memang ada ruginya kalo gak pake HP gini. Tapi, menurut gue, semua jadi keputusan si empunya kehidupan dong.

See, i wanna share how often we blame others’ condition as some things that impact our lives badly.

Kenapa banyak orang yang bilang gue malah bikin repot mereka karena mereka gak bisa hubungin gue padahal gue udah kasih solusi untuk menghubungi gue?

Sama aja kaya kalo lagi mau cepet – cepet ke kampus dan kalian masih terlambat. Jalanan macet. Hujan. Banjir. Semua disalahin.

Atau kalo kalian mau diet tapi malah gak mulai – mulai. Diajakin temen makan – makanlah. Laper matalah. Ada diskon di Takigawa. Sampe gara – gara liat hasil foto kue di instagram.

Kenapa kita pilih untuk menyalahkan hal – hal yang gak bisa kita kendalikan?

It’s because it’s easier to blame others than taking control of our lives. It’s easier to be the victims than to be responsible.

Jangan sedih. Gue juga sering banget dengan mudah menyalahkan hal – hal lain daripada memilih bertanggung jawab sama hidup gue. Karena dengan menyalahkan keadaan, gue memositifkan keadaan diri gue yang sebagai korban. Well, it’s beyond of my control. There’s nothing i can do about it. Lalu, kita tidur nyenyak karena kita telah sedikit lega.

Tapi sayangnya keadaan gak berubah dengan menjadi korban dan menghindari tanggung jawab.

Start taking responsibilities. Stop blaming your surroundings.
Start from you, start from small things, start it now.
Cheers.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

15 ways to have fun at home


            Bosen biasanya jadi curhatan (hampir) semua orang yang terjebak di rumah di long weekend begini. Terlepas dari alasan di luar hujan deras atau kalian lagi sakit, terpaksa diam di rumah seems like so desperating, if it’s not depressing. Solusi standar bagi orang – orang adalah cek timeline mereka dari waktu ke waktu. Maybe it’s fun for a while until you realize how long the timeline is refreshed. Tenang, ada solusi yang mau gue bagi di kesempatan kali ini.

1.      Bersih – bersih! Yup, get your lazy ass off the bed. Mulai dari kamar kita sendiri. Dari tumpukan baju yang ada di pojok atau dari kertas – kertas yang nongkrong di meja belajar. You’ll be surprised what you might find. Pisahkan barang jadi tiga bagian: to be kept, to the dumpster, and charity. Saran nih waktu beres – beres: dont be so emotional with things. Simpan kenangan – kenangan emosional di diri kalian sendiri bukan di benda matinya. Baju dari mantan lima taun lalu yang udah gak muat? Buang atau kasih ke adik kalian. Komik – komik yang udak gak kalian baca? Sumbangin ke taman bacaan deket rumah kalian.

2.      Setelah menyadari betapa luasnya kamar kalian setelah bersih – bersih, you might find some books that you haven’t finished or even haven’t even started. Ambil kacamata hipster kalian dan mulai membaca. Walaupun judul dan muka bukunya bikin gak pengen baca, mulai buka halaman pertama. Kalau masih gak suka? Lanjut ke halaman dua dan seterusnya. Don’t judge a book until you finish read it. Dan kalau ternyata bukunya ternyata jelek? You’re lucky you have killed two hour for reading a book!

3.      Coba jadi MacGyver sama papa. Belajar seluk beluk mobil biar kalau kalian nyetir sendiri dan tiba – tiba keluar asap dari mesin, kalian gak panik dan main siram air aja. Minta papa ajarin dasar – dasar yang penting. Mana itu karburator, kalau oli bocor apa yang harus dilakukan, and basic stuffs like that.

4.      Read your Bible or pray. Curhat sama Tuhan tentang betapa nyebelinnya pacar kalian hari ini lebih aman daripada curhat di media sosial. Well, at least, God doesn’t tell anybody else about your secrets.

5.      Kiss and tell your family how much you love them.

6.      Kalau masih bosen dan gak ada kegiatan, grab your birthday present last year from Mom and Dad and strike a pose! Bikin home video bareng adik atau kakak kalian bisa jadi solusi buat bonding time. Atau kalau kebetulan koleksi baju dan sepatu kalian banyak, mulai bikin your own lookbook. Coba kalian edit foto kalian lewat Adobe Photoshop instead of using so-called instagram terus upload ke blog kalian! Berdoa  aja video dan foto ajaib kalian jadi hits fenomenal di dunia maya. Atau seenggaknya ada yang liat.

7.      Cari video pembelajaran-sendiri di Youtube. Sekarang udah banyak kanal yang ngasih video pembelajaran-sendiri, mulai dari pelajaran sekolah, masak memasak, sampai cara menyanyi yang baik dan benar.  Mulai dari yang kalian suka dulu. Siapa tau selesai weekend, kalian sudah bisa masak creeme brulee atau bisa bikin kerajinan tangan yang unik. Hey, bisa jadi ide bisnis bagus!

8.      Telpon nenek kalian atau skype sama sepupu jauh kalian yang kalian gak tau kabarnya gimana. Ajak mereka ngobrol. Saatnya membuktikan teknologi memang bisa mendekatkan yang jauh tanpa menjauhkan yang dekat.

9.      Kerjain tugas.

10.  Buka booth minuman gratis di depan rumah. Cukup bermodal sirup dan air dingin, kalian bisa membuat beberapa orang yang lewat depan rumah kalian tersenyum.

11.  Tanya pembantu kalian gimana kehidupan di kampung mereka.

12.  Bikin rencana daftar-yang-harus-dilakukan buat minggu depan.

13.  Bantu adik kalian bikin PR.

14.  Nonton Discovery Channel. Kalian mungkin banget dapet berbagai macam inspirasi dari saluran yang sangat berguna ini. Siapa yang tau kalian bisa belajar apa dari anak macan yang lari – lari sama anak zebra?

15.  Tidur lagi.

Monday, October 29, 2012

mistakenly in love

the day i first met you,
you smiled at me.
there were no sparks or butterfly in my stomach,
everything was plain and all.

the day we first talked,
you made me laugh.
with my silly response to your jokes,
everything was funny.

the day you first called me,
i was surprised.
you told me you were waiting outside my door,
everything turned sweeter than ever.

the day day you first said love to me,
i was shocked.
i never thought i would be mistakenly in love.
everything was good but that's that.

the day you first ignored my calls,
you were hurt.
you told me you didn't wanna meet me again,
everything ended that day.

it was amazing and all.
but we were not supposed be mistakenly in love.
everything was good.
But that's that.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

continue?

hello, hello..

pernah main games di timezone kan? dulu mainnya kan masukin koin tapi sekarang kebanyakan udah pakai kartu magnetik gitu yaa.. anyway, pokoknya, kalo kita main ke tempat main games such as timezone gitu dan kita main time crisis, misalnya.. biasanya kalo kita kalah dalam satu turn permainan kita, akan ada pertanyaan dengan suara mesin: "continue?" dan kalo kita masukin koin lagi atau swipe the card, permainan akan berlanjut lagi ke level berikutnya. got what i mean?

i suddenly remembered that moment, my 'continue?' moment. dulu waktu sd sampai sekitar smp, gue sering banget main ke timezone atau fun city (do you guys even know what fun city is? well it's like timezone but it went bankrupt or something). dan permainan yang suka gue mainin adalah time crisis, permainan tembak tembakan itu. well, actually, i'm kinda good at the game tapi sepandai - pandainya tupai melompat, pasti jatuh juga. dan sepandai - pandainya gue bermain time crisis, pasti akan ada saatnya nyawa gue abis dan pertanyaan dengan suara mesin itu pun keluar: continue?

setelah keluar pertanyaan itu, biasanya akan ada count down 20 detik. di 20 detik itulah, biasanya gue berpikir keras apakah gue akan masukin koin lagi atau berhenti. atau apakah gue akan beli koin lagi, jika gue udah kehabisan koin. biasanya selama gue masih ada koin, gue akan terusin mainnya. yang cukup sulit adalah kalo gue udah kehabisan koin tapi level gue udah lumayan tinggi jadi rasanya sayang buat gak diterusin. nah, kalo kaya begitu, gue akan lari secepetnya ke kasir, tuker coin, dan berharap belum telat untuk lanjutin games yang tertunda tadi. kadang, ketika gue balik ke mesin gamesnya, ternyata ada yang udah main di tempat gue. malah, sempet beberapa kali ada yang terusin games gue (agak kurang sopan nih sebenernya.. gue udah susah susah malah dilanjutin dia..). well, that's life.

dan kata siapa kita gak bisa belajar dari hal remeh macam permainan ding dong ini?

i learned a lot from this game. well, i didn't realize that i'm gonna learning something at that time tapi sekarang gue melihat banyak hal yang bisa jadi pembelajaran di kehidupan gue sekarang.

ya, hidup itu ibaratnya kita main games ding dong itu. ketika kita mulai, kita masukin koin sebagai syarat bisa mulai permainannya dan kita aka put our best efforts biar koin itu gak sia sia.. but sometimes, no matter how hard you play, bad things happen and you have to choose whether you wanna continue or not.

like what i said before, it's easier for us to continue the game if we still get what it takes to continue it.. selama kita masih punya 'tiket masuk' ke game kehidupan itu, kita pasti akan langsung lanjutin aja game itu tanpa pikir panjang lagi.

yang sulit adalah ketika kita gak punya 'koin' untuk continue the game. mungkin beberapa dari kita will be in a rush to get the coin and play it again because they think they already spent a lot in the game. ada juga mungkin yang nyerah dan cari game baru untuk dimainkan..

gue biasanya adalah tipikal orang yang bertindak cepat dalam mengambil keputusan. bukan gegabah tapi gue rasa gue udah tau sampai batas mana kemampuan gue sebenernya. kalo gue pikir gue emang bisa , akan gue lanjutkan. tapi kalo gue gak bisa, gue akan stop dan lanjut main games lain.

ya, gue biasanya seperti itu.

tapi akhirnya gue mendapatkan momen 'continue?' gue yang membingungkan.. ini seperti main games baru dan lu kalah di level awal. ada sisi gue yang mau coba terus walau gue tau game ini susah tapi ada sisi gue yang mau nyerah dan pilih stick to the status quo. and how do i decide?

mungkin kalian juga pernah mengalami hal yang sama kayak gue. harus memilih antara dua pilihan yang sama sama 'putih'. bukan pilihan yang hitam (salah) atau putih (benar). dua opsi yang kalian punya sama sama benar, gak ada yang salah. disinilah 'continue?' momen menjadi menarik..

mostly, people will stick to the option that they feel comfort about. kita cenderung akan memilih untuk tidak berubah daripada berubah. comfort zone, zona 'aman' yang sebenernya sangat berbahaya karena ketidakberbahayaan ini, selalu menjadi preferences utama.

tapi apakah pilihan yang kita buat memang tepat? sometimes, i feel like regretting some choices i've made. but then it got me thinking: what i am today was made from who i was yesterday AND what i want to be tomorrow.

kadang kita terlalu ribet dalam berpikir tentang hidup sampai melewatkan esensi hidup yang sesungguhnya yaitu: moving forward. yes, hidup itu selalu dikerjakan ke depan. layaknya kita sedang nyetir mobil, masa lalu kita yang terlihat di kaca spion akan semakin tidak berpengaruh kalo kita maju semakin cepat.

ngaku deh. we made some stupid mistakes, some by accident, some by choice. but what matters now is what are you gonna do to make things better?

kadang kita terlalu berpikir tentang masa lalu ketika 'continue?' moment kita terjadi. be more like a child.
anak anak yang bermain game dan mendapat momen 'continue?' biasanya berpikiran untuk segera get in the game lagi bukan karena sudah pernah get in the game. am i making any sense?

just sharing my thoughts, people.
good night.


red dot and blue line

once upon a time, there was a little red dot.

like every other red dots, this little red dot was hated by everyone.
'red dots are the same,' they said. 'whenever they come, something bad's happening.'

this little red dot was trying to smile and pretending that she didn't hurt at all.
she was good at pretending.

but when she was alone, she broke down and cried.
every single night.
her pillow was wet with tears.


day passed by, seasons changed.
the little red dot was grown up to a red dot.

she looked much stronger than the little red dot she was used to be.
only looked stronger, only looked.
her pillow was still wet with her tears.


then, she met a blue line all of sudden.
no plans.
just a coincidence.

everyone was telling the blue line to avoid the red dot.

'red dots are the same,' they said. 'whenever they come, something bad's happening.'

the blue line was a good line.
he never judged a dot by what others said.
he never cared.


the red dot felt some strange feelings whenever the blue line was around.
the blue line was getting more important for her.
the red dot was happy.

the blue line knew the red dot.
period.
he never cared.


then the red dot started to her senses.
she felt that the feelings was unrequited.
she went home.
her pillow was still wet.

Monday, September 3, 2012

self image. yeah, we're gonna talk on this stuff again.

hey, readers! haha, well, i don't really know whether someone read my blog or not but let's pretend that someone read it.

i've posted another poem of mine. if you read that, give me your response. you can tweet that or kindly leave a comment. the poem is an impromptu writing so.. kinda sucks maybe. hahaha.

well, the day after tomorrow is the beginning of the new semester. a little bit nervous with my new classmates, i never be a good chat-starter with new acquaintances. keep my fingers crossed for some great buddy on my new class, MKT 15-5c.

been planning some stuffs, but it got me thinking lately that i've been so.. dispersed this year. i don't focus on a project like i'm used to. maybe i should upgrade my version of ICL's master plan to 2.0, no?

life has been surprising lately.. many ups and downs but in the end it makes better, not bitter, on handling problems. well, it's because i have a great God that always supports me all the time. last sunday, Ps. Jose Carol taught me a great lesson about a healthy self image on JPCC second service. There's so many things i want to share with you but you can buy the sermon on benih.com so you won't be misunderstood about the teaching. haha. the quotes that i remember the most is this one:

a healthy self image is not about denying your condition. it's about being true to yourself. and what matters the most for you should be what God thinks about you, not what others do or you do.

how many of us that been called as stupid, moron, geek, slut, fat, nigger, jocks, etc? people judge everyday and most of them shout their judgement to you, whether you'll like it or not. and their judgement becomes our identity to them. when you're obese, when i say obese it means your body fat threatens your health, not that kind of i-am-thin-but-i'm-gonna-tell-everyone-i'm-fat obese, people call you names. when you're smart and use glasses, people call you names. when you're being active in you religion community, people call you names. whatever you do, right or wrong, people call you names. but now, the question is: will you agree on their opinion?

if you're gonna let others tell you who you are and you want to be what they tell you are, ask God who you are. you might be surprised on how valuable you are on God's eyes. look on Isaiah 43:4. He even let Jesus Christ died for you, so there should be no reason for you to moaning and having the no-one-loves-me thought.

now, everytime a bully comes in your way and call you names, this might be your answer:

someday i'll be big enough so you can't hit me and all you're ever gonna be is mean.

hahaha, no, no, that shoul not be the best answer. when a bully comes in your way, just smile, put your headset on, and listen to your favourite song. what a bully say should never be important to you!

well, have a great day!

last slice of pizza

my last slice of pizza.

super supreme, extra cheese.
with so many bitterness on top of it.

my last slice of pizza.

super supreme, extra chilli.
and two cans of cold lies.

my last slice of pizza.

super supreme, no onion.
and add some loneliness with it.

my last slice of pizza.
it's used to be yours.
but here i am,
with my last slice of pizza.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

segelas kekosongan

pagi.
jika cahaya berarti pagi, maka hari ini pagi.

sepi.
jika diam berarti sepi, maka hati ini sepi.

mati.
jika kosong berarti mati, maka hati ini mati.


petang.
jika lelah berarti petang, maka waktu ini petang.

matang.
jika lama berarti matang, maka cinta ini matang.

datang.
jika tinggal berarti datang, maka cinta sudah datang.


malam.
jika gelap berarti malam, maka saat ini malam.

kelam.
jika parah berarti kelam, maka luka ini kelam.

dalam.
jika serius berarti dalam, maka luka ini dalam.


hilang.
pergi.


tarik napas.
buang.
senyum.


sakit itu masih terasa.

Friday, August 17, 2012

break

hey, readers.

it's been ages since the last time i wrote here but here's the good news: i'm back to stay. yup, i promise i will post things more often!

just a little catch up for today.

so, i've been thinking a lot about... me.

not the usual thinking i did like what would i be, what should i do. but now i'm thinking about: how do i start, what's next. yes, people. finally, imanuel christo has decided to do some bigger things.

some people say that planning is half the work and i was trapped in that paradigm for years. i spent a lot of times thinking and thinking and end up doing nothing because i saw so many failures that could happen. yeah well, i was like that.

but sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways.

you have to stop blaming others for your mood swing.

you have to stop complaining God when things don't go as you plan.

you have to stop thinking and just doing your things.

you have to give yourself a break and start the first step right now.

if you want to be a writer, get your lazy ass off the couch and start writing!

if you want to be a singer, you have to start singing!

just do the baby steps. it only hurts for the first but the next step is gonna be easier.

okay, write to you real soon!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

me, passion, and patient



Hey, readers! Menyusul post yang kemarin tentang dreams, sekarang saya mau berbagi cerita yang hampir sama tentang itu. We’re going to talk about passion!
My post today is inspired by one of awesome mentors of @oxygenjpcc, Ka Ricky Setiawan (@onlyricky). He is the author of Postcards from Heaven, salah satu buku non mainstream yang saya cukup suka. Materi ini dibawain Ka Ricky di Youth Camp @oxygenjpcc taun lalu dan saya sangat bersyukur bisa dapet kesempatan dengerin materi ini.
Okay, guys, meet SMASH.
No, no, bukan SMASH yang boyband itu. SMASH ini adalah salah satu tools yang simpel buat menetapkan dan menjalankan passion kita. SMASH is derived from Skill, Mentors, Associate, Stage, and Hope. I’m gonna give you a little hint about each one.
Skill itu menyangkut apa passion kita, apa yang kita suka kerjakan. Mentors adalah orang – orang yang bisa membimbing kita dalam rangka menjalankan passion kita. Associate adalah pergaulan kita yang memiliki passion yang sama dengan kita. Stage menyangkut tentang kesempatan kita melakukan passion kita di depan audiens ataupun siapa saja yang bisa memberi kita umpan balik. Dan Hope adalah harapan.
So here’s where the story begin...
17 Juni 2011. Hotel Yasmin, Puncak.
Siang itu adalah hari kedua Youth Camp yang sedang gue ikutin. Di salah satu sesi, tersebutlah seorang Ricky Setiawan yang akan membawakan materi sesi selanjutnya. His name gives me a hint of something at that time but i don’t really know what it is. Sesinya membahas tentang passion, something that all teenagers and youth are passionate about. The session was cool and fun but another sessions were just as cool so it doesn’t really stand out at that time. Seberesnya sesi itu, kita dibagiin kertas SMASH plan dari sesi itu. Gue langsung masukin kertas itu ke agenda biar bisa dibaca lagi di rumah.
Singkat cerita, hampir seminggu ketika sampai di rumah, gue lagi baca buku Postcard from Heaven dan menyadari bahwa the guy who talked on the Youth Camp was the same guy who wrote this book! Astaga, saat itu ada dua pikiran yang mucul dalam otak gue. Pertama: Kenapa saya gak minta tanda tangan atau foto bareng? Kedua: Hey, i guess i have something from his session.
Dibukalah kertas SMASH plan tersebut dan gue langsung bersemangat untuk isi kertas itu.
First... Apa ya passion saya?
Jawaban yang muncul adalah jawaban saya dari dulu ketika mengisi kolom hobi: menyanyi dan menulis. Yes. Itu pasti passion saya tuh. Dengan penuh keyakinan dan percaya diri, saya rancanglah rencana mengejar passion saya di dua bidang itu.
Bukan hal yang susah sebenarnya buat gue melakukan perencanaan itu. Bagi gue, menyanyi dan menulis itu udah seperti napas. I do it naturally. Jadi, harusnya saya dengan mudah dong menjalani dua hal itu? Wrong. Tottaly wrong.
Pertama, menulis. Menulis itu sebenernya efek samping dari hobi utama saya yaitu membaca. Memang, secara akademik, saya hampir selalu mewakili sekolah saya kalau ada lomba mengarang. Memang bakat membohong sudah mendarah daging since Cain and Abel era. Tapi, di luar itu, saya nol besar.
Mengikuti passion dalam menulis dan mengikuti lomba menulis adalah dua hal yang berbeda. Ikut lomba menulis adalah momen. Kita hanya harus menulis satu karangan yang ditentukan sebelum deadline dan voila! Menang deh. Sementara menulis itu butuh ketekunan. Butuh komitmen. Butuh usaha keras.
Saya, yang terbiasa menulis sebagai peserta lomba, cukup kaget karena menulis sebagai penulis itu cukup berbeda. Jadi penulis itu gampang tapi menulis buku itu sulit. Saya boleh menang di departemen kreativitas dan ide tapi saya kalah telak di departemen ketekunan dan fokus. Banyak ide cerita yang berujung sebagai ide cerita saja karena gue gak bisa komit selesaikan satu novel. Hahaha.
So, i was thinking to concentrate on singing. This is a nightmare for me, actually. My singing voice is not karaoke voice. Saya terbiasa nyanyi dengan customized song yang sudah disesuaikan dengan range vokal saya. Selain itu, stage fright itu adalah sahabat saya. Menyanyi di depan umum adalah suatu kutukan bagi saya. Got people staring at me is killing.
Awalnya, saya masih berpikir singing is my passion. Tapi ketika saya COB taun lalu, Ps. Jeffrey bilang hal ini:
What God wants you to do is not what you are used to do.
Bukan karena kamu terbiasa melakukan hal itu berarti kamu harus terus melakukan hal itu.
Carilah ultimate purpose kita dari Tuhan.
Saat itu, saya langsung tau ini adalah teguran Tuhan atas kesoktahuan saya menetapkan rencana hidup saya tanpa konsultasi dulu dengan Tuhan. Ketika, sesi COB selesai, saya berdoa. Tuhan, kalo emang tadi itu teguran buat ‘passion’ saya, coba kasih tau apa yang jadi rencanaMu buat saya sesungguhnya.
Pulang dari COB, gue memutuskan naik kereta ekonomi. Entah kenapa. Padahal, gue beli tiket commuter line seperti biasa dan kereta commuter line sudah hampir sampai di stasiun tempat gue menunggu. Tapi, gue akhirnya naik kereta ekonomi yang lewat saat itu. Gue langsung keluarin bukunya Merry Riana yang Mimpi Sejuta Dollar yang baru dibeli beberapa hari sebelumnya demi mencegah kontak dengan orang – orang yang mencurigakan di kereta ekonomi. Dan ternyata Tuhan langsung menjawab doa makhluk ini saat itu juga.
Gue diketemukan dengan Ko Hans, salah satu mentor saya sekarang.
Gak lama ketika gue duduk di kereta, tiba – tiba ada yang ajak gue ngobrol. “Wah, itu bukunya Merry Riana yang baru?’
Setelah dicari sumber suaranya, ternyata yang ngomong adalah cowok umur 25an dengan pakaian kerja rapi. Akhirnya, karena gue mengira dia orang baik – baik dan tidak berniat mencuri dompet mahasiswa yang isinyatidak seberapa ini, kita ngobrol.
Ternyata, Ko Hans ini kenal adik dan sepupu gue. Dia pelatih basket salah satu sekolah di Bogor dan karena dunia perbasketan yang terlalu kecil atau adik gue yang terlalu eksis, dia tenyata kenal adik gue. Kalo sepupu gue, sepupu cewek gue pernah pacaran sama temennya Ko Hans jadi mereka kenal. Ternyata, dunia hanya seluas kereta ekonomi... -__-
Obrolan kita pun sampai ke percakapan tentang buku yang gue baca ini. Jadi, as you may all know, Merry Riana adalah salah satu miliarder ‘tempaan’ Prudential, which is the place that Ko Hans has been working on at that time for the last few months. Setelah baca biografinya Merry Riana ini, gue tertarik dengan dunia asuransi. Why?
Pertama, trauma masa lalu. Opa gue dirawat sebulan di ICU setelah Oma gue meninggal. Sebulan di ICU, men. Millions of money spent on my Grandpa’s medication simply because my Grandpa didn’t have health insurance. Perawatan Opa gue mengguncang keluarga gue, mentally and financially. Akhirnya rumah Opa dijual dan gue pindah ke rumah Oma. Di saat itu, gue mengerti pentingnya asuransi. Asuransi gak memperpanjang atau memperpendek umur. Asuransi bukan kita beli untuk diri kita tapi untuk keluarga kita. Asuransi itu penting. Unfortunately, i had to learn it the hard way. (Tweet me on @imanuelchristo to have a chat or to ask my blackberry pin to have a chat.)
Kedua, dunia asuransi dan financial consulting melibatkan dua hal utama yang jadi kesukaan gue: konsultansi dan menolong orang. Financial consulting sekilas hampir sama dengan dunia psikologi. Intinya, kita melakukan konsultasi one on one dengan tujuan meningkatkan taraf hidup orang banyak. Saat itu, gue menilai pekerjaan ini menarik.
Singkat cerita, gue akhirnya tukeran pin bb sama Ko Hans dan bikin janji ngobrol tentang kerjaan dia. Gue sangat antusias buat ketemuan dan ngobrol tentang kerjaannya. Dan setelah beberapa kali bertemu buat ngobrol, gue memutuskan untuk bergabung dengan Prudential. Kali ini, setelah konsultasi dan kontemplasi dengan pihak Yang Berwenang atas hidup saya.
Ternyata, dunia auransi tidak semudah yang terlihat. Gue harus ikutan kelas pembinaan 4 hari berturut – turut dan ikut dua kali ujian dulu di Prudential sebelum bisa ikut ujian AAJI (Asosiasi Asuransi Jiwa Indonesia). Bahkan setelah lolos ujian AAJI dan sah untuk jadi financial consultant, gue harus ikutan kelas training tiap sabtu di agency gue. Bekerja sebagai financial, assets protection, and health care planner di Prudential tidak semudah yang orang kira.
Tantangan utamanya adalah mencari nasabah tentunya. Kalau gue ceritain di post ini, bisa gak habis – habis postnya. Nanti akan gue cerita di post lainnya. Hehehe. Bahkan gue masih struggle dalam mencari nasabah hingga saat ini. But, giving up is for rookie, right?
Nah, gue mau menjabarkan gimana SMASH plan menolong gue dalam mencapai dan bertahan menjalankan passion gue di bidang financial consulting ini:
1.      Skill
Jangan terjebak dengan definisi skill standar. Banyak diantara kita yang terjebak dengan definisi skill yang terpaku di menyanyi, main basket, atau matematika. Bedakan antara passion dan kebiasaan. Gue sempat terjebak dengan beberapa hal yang gue kira passion utama gue and they turn out to be something i used to do.
Mungkin beberapa dari kita ada yang bener – bener suka nonton DVD? Hey, you’re not slackers. Try to be movie reviewers. Kalo kita suka belanja? Bukan berarti kita boros, ada kemungkinan kita potensial jadi personal buyer atau fashion consultant. Be creative with your passion. If you can’t find a job, make one.
2.      Mentor
Setelah tau apa passion kita, segera cari orang yang sukses di bidang itu. Minta mereka bantu kita, semakin sukses orang itu, gue yakin semakin senang mereka untuk give back dengan mentoring. Jangan takut meminta mereka untuk mentoring.
Gue bersyukur bisa ketemu Ko Hans yang mengenalkan gue dengan mentor lain, Ko Andy dan Ko Anthon. Gak semua bisa bertemu mentor sebaik mereka yang sabar menghadapi gue yang sangat lambat perkembangannya. Hehehe.
3.      Associate
Ketika kita menjalankan passion kita, sangat mungkin bagi kita kehilangan ‘teman’. Ada yang gak suka lihat kita maju, ada yang gak suka dengan pilihan kita, dan berbagai alasan lainnya. Dan gue juga sempat ngerasain hal ini. tapi satu quote ini menguatkan gue:
“We don’t lose friends. We just find out who the true ones are.”
Untuk itulah, kita perlu menemukan komunitas yang sehat dan supportif. Untungnya lagi bagi gue, gue tertanam di komunitas yang sangat sehat dan supportif. I’m grateful beyond measure for my DATE Apartemen Semanggi 2 yang sangat membantu saya bertahan di tengah riuh rendahnya dunia *hiks hiks, tisu mana tisu*.
Sangat penting menemukan teman yang sehati atau setidaknya mendukung kita karena the passion track is the bumpy one.
4.      Stage
Selanjutnya? Let’s hit the dance floor, baby! Coba terus mengasah kemampuan kita. Cari kesempatan untuk tampil. Gue orangnya sangat pemalu *i hear some of you whisper YEAH, RIGHT! hahaha* tapi yang gue lakukan saat ini mengharuskan gue untuk membuang sifat pemalu gue itu. Setiap ketemu temen baru, sekarang gue bisa memulai percakapan dan meminta pin bb untuk bisa ngobrol – ngobrol. Mungkin bagi kalian itu hal kecil tapi bagi gue itu sudah menjadi tahap yang bagus buat gue menghilangkan sifat pemalu gue.
Kalau kalian gak tau stage untuk skill kalian dimana, coba tanya mentor atau associate kalian. Kalau kalian memilih orang yang benar dan tepat, pasti kalian gak sulit menemukan stage untuk skill kalian.
5.      Hope
The last but the most important part! Kita harus punya harapan yang benar dalam rangka mengejar passion kita. Dan buat gue, Tuhan itu pemberi harapan yang sangat baik buat gue. Look on Jeremiah 29: 11.
Ketika kita gagal, kita gak boleh putus asa lama – lama. mungkin akan ada beberapa penolakan yang sangat menyakitkan dalam perjalanan kita. Tapi akan sangat bodoh jika kita menyerah hanya karena satu penolakan. Kalau Thomas Alva Edison, J.K. Rowling, dan  Walt Disney menyerah pada penolakan pertama, kita gak akan ketemu bola lampu, Harry Potter, dan Mickey Mouse sekarang.
            Sesuai judul post ini, ada satu elemen dalam proses pengejaran passion yang sangat penting: Patient. Yak, sabar.
            Kenapa sabar? Karena passion itu bukan garis akhir. Passion itu adalah garis awal dan pengejaran passion itu adalah perjalanan sesungguhnya. Patient membantu Hope kita lebih solid. Patient membuat kita mendapatkan Stage, Associate, dan Mentors yang baik. Gue pernah ketemu orang yang sebenernya memiliki semua elemen SMASH dalam pengejaran passionnya tapi dia end up gagal total karena dia gak sabar. Ingat, yang penting memang hasil akhir tapi proseslah yang menentukan bagus atau tidaknya hasil akhir itu. Jadi, sabar. Waktu itu salah satu privilege utama Tuhan atas hidup kita so don’t insist untuk memberlakukan waktu kita dalam kehidupan yang dikasih Tuhan.
Yap, that’s all, fellas. Semoga kalian mendapat sesuatu dari post gue kali ini. God bless you! ;)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

map and faith

hello, readers.

wow, finally, i can post another post to my blog. padahal lagi di tengah himpitan dan siksaan mid term exams nih. hahaha. untungnya hari ini lagi gak ada exams tapi besok udah ada lagi. tinggal seminggu lagi dan ada libur empat harian gitu. lumayan deh. :D

anyway, my college life is not as exquisite as i thought it would be. lol. first semester went pretty smooth actually. made a lot of friends at the beginning, discovered some uh-not-so-good-to-be-closer-with type of friends along the way. while i tried to survive in this college drama, i achieved, uhm, good gpa. i thought i could do better actually since 3,67 is not good enough for me. i got 3 subjects on b+ and one of them is marketing, the subject that i had decided to be my major. hahaha. well, i'm grateful for the result since i got it while i had to commute to Jakarta from Bogor everyday. second highest gpa on my class doesn't sound too bad. this semester, i am not gonna receive any b+. #faith

well, you may be, or may not be, wondering what the heck the title of this post means..

map is needed when we are on a trip or when we're planning to go to somewhere. soon as we know where we want to go, we'll buy a map that shows us how to get to our destination from where we are now. map shows us which route should be taken and which should not, it helps us to stay on the right track. unfortunately, some of us can't read the map, that's why some of us choose to go with friends that can read the map. we may not need the map all the time along the journey but we still need to look up on it when we are not sure where we are going next.

peta juga seharusnya dimiliki dalam kehidupan kita. when i said life, i don't mean the daily life. i mean your life life. your ultimate journey, not your daily activities. okay, at this moment, mungkin beberapa akan merespon kayak gini:


come on, kita udah tau lah mau jadi gimana nanti, yah jadi sukses lah.


and to be honest, that was my response until two weeks ago.

dari dulu, gue selalu berpikiran kalo gue harus sukses, financially and non-financially. pokoknya gue harus kaya, bahagia, muda, dan taat beragama. yah, pokoknya tipe manusia sempurna yang diidamkan setiap insan di dunia deh. but that was totally not a goal.

ternyata, setelah disadarkan sama salah satu mentor gue, tujuan gue yang kayak begitu bukan goal. itu sih udah jadi Indonesian Dream banget. gue dikasih tau seperti apa yang baik kalo mau punya goal.

pendahuluan: gak ada mimpi yang mustahil. yang ada cuma usaha yang kurang banyak.

nah, yang pertama adalah know what you want. sebelum beli map untuk bepergian, kita harus tau mau beli peta apa. harus jelas. kalo kita mau liburan ke pantai, gak akan ada peta pantai doang. adanya peta Bali, peta Pangandaran, dan lain lain. kalo kita mau sukses, kita harus tau sukses yang kayak apa. kalo mau punya rumah, rumah kayak apa. kalo kita mau kuliah di luar negeri, kuliah di mana. harus jelas, gak boleh rancu.

yang kedua adalah know when you will start and end it. kalo kita udah fix nih, mau ke Bali dari Jakarta. kita harus tau mau berangkat kapan. bulan depan? taun depan? 100 taun lagi? kapan? pilih satu tanggal dan catat kapan kita 'berangkat' dan kapan kita 'sampai'. tentukan jangka waktu dari goal kalian. kalo misalnya mau beli rumah seluas 900 meter persegi di BSD (harus serinci mungkin, inget no 1?), kita harus tentukan kapan mau mulai usaha buat mimpi itu dan kapan mimpi itu harus terwujud. kalo kalian putusin 5 tahun mulai hari ini (8 Mei 2012), that means di 8 Mei 2017 kalian harus udah punya rumah seluas 900 meter persegi di BSD.

next step is know how to get there. kalo udah tau mau ke mana dan kapan, putuskan bagaimana ke sana. apakah naik mobil? apakah naik pesawat. lanjut contoh yang tadi, kalo udah tau 8 Mei 2017 kalian sudah harus punya rumah 900 meter persegi di BSD, pikirkan gimana caranya dapetin rumah idaman itu dalam 5 tahun. bagian ini cukup krusial karena kita harus jabarkan action plan kita. kalo kita mau cicil rumah itu pake kpr, harus cari tau pake bank mana, bunganya berapa, bayarnya berapa lama, kalo di denda berapa, cicilannya berapa per bulan, gimana kita dapet uang buat bayar cicilannya, gimana kalo kita gak bisa bayar cicilannya di tengah jalan. pikirkan semua pertanyaan, even menurut kalian itu adalah pertanyaan yang bodoh. semakin banyak pertanyaan yang didapat, semakin bagus. selanjutnya? jawab pertanyaan itu! misalnya yang tadi: mau pake kpr bca, bunganya 25 persen setaun, bayarnya 10 taun, denda kalo telat 1 juta, per bulan cicilannya 10 juta, bayarnya dipotong dari gaji kita per bulan, kalo gak bisa bayar nanti papa akan bantu (itu contoh dari kasus di atas).

masih ada nih, yang (hampir) terakhir adalah know why you want it. kenapa kita mau goal ini berhasil? demi gengsi? demi kebahagiaan? hal ini yang akan bikin kita keep motivated along the process dan bikin semua usaha kita punya makna. balik ke contoh tadi: kalo kita udah putuskan ambil cicilannya di bank bca dan bayar cicilannya 10 juta per bulan dengan cara dipotong gaji kita karena kita mau punya rumah pribadi unuk keluarga kita nanti, kita pasti kerja keras biar bisa survive di kerjaan kita atau malah biar naik gaji. ketika kita cape, kita harus pikirin cicilan rumah itu. cicilan rumah buat calon istri sama anak kita nanti, cicilan  tempat tinggal kita sampe tua nanti. be emotional, tanamkan pemikiran yang cukup emosional biar kita makin terpacu.

nah, the last thing, but the most fundamental, we need is faith. apapun keyakinan kita, kita harus yakin dan percaya bahwa Tuhan ikutan bekerja juga dalam setiap usaha kita. selama impian kita gak bertentangan sama ajaran agama dan nilai kemanusiaan, gue percaya Tuhan akan ikut terlibat dalam rencana kita.

gue menyebutkan faith secara khusus dalam judul karena menurut gue, ini sama pentingnya dengan punya 'peta' kehidupan itu. perjalanan meraih impian kita gak akan mulus. gue juga masih sering jatuh-dan-hampir-lupa-bangun sekarang ini. yang bisa menolong kita yah cuma iman kita. gak selamanya akan hujan terus, pasti ada cerah juga. kita harus percaya sama Tuhan. tapi juga gak selamanya akan cerah terus, pasti akan ada hujan juga. kita harus percaya sama Tuhan. semua hal yang Tuhan biarkan terjadi dalam hidup kita, yang Tuhan biarkan terjadi loh bukan yang kita pilih untuk terjadi, itu ada tujuan yang mulia.

kalo kita mengalami kegagalan, anggap itu bagian dalam paket kesuksesan. anggap aja goal kita itu mainan Happy Meal dan kegagalan adalah ayam goreng, nasi, dan sodanya. ketika kita mau dapet mainan itu, kita harus bayar harga sepaket dengan semua makanannya. mau gak mau, suka gak suka.

well, that's all today.
see you!