red dot and blue line

once upon a time, there was a little red dot.

like every other red dots, this little red dot was hated by everyone.
'red dots are the same,' they said. 'whenever they come, something bad's happening.'

this little red dot was trying to smile and pretending that she didn't hurt at all.
she was good at pretending.

but when she was alone, she broke down and cried.
every single night.
her pillow was wet with tears.


day passed by, seasons changed.
the little red dot was grown up to a red dot.

she looked much stronger than the little red dot she was used to be.
only looked stronger, only looked.
her pillow was still wet with her tears.


then, she met a blue line all of sudden.
no plans.
just a coincidence.

everyone was telling the blue line to avoid the red dot.

'red dots are the same,' they said. 'whenever they come, something bad's happening.'

the blue line was a good line.

he never judged a dot by what others said.

he never cared.

the red dot felt some strange feelings whenever the blue line was around.

the blue line was getting more important for her.

the red dot was happy.

the blue line knew the red dot.

period.

he never cared.

then the red dot started to her senses.

she felt that the feelings was unrequited.

she went home.

her pillow was still wet.

self image. yeah, we're gonna talk on this stuff again.

hey, readers! haha, well, i don't really know whether someone read my blog or not but let's pretend that someone read it.

i've posted another poem of mine. if you read that, give me your response. you can tweet that or kindly leave a comment. the poem is an impromptu writing so.. kinda sucks maybe. hahaha.

well, the day after tomorrow is the beginning of the new semester. a little bit nervous with my new classmates, i never be a good chat-starter with new acquaintances. keep my fingers crossed for some great buddy on my new class, MKT 15-5c.

been planning some stuffs, but it got me thinking lately that i've been so.. dispersed this year. i don't focus on a project like i'm used to. maybe i should upgrade my version of ICL's master plan to 2.0, no?

life has been surprising lately.. many ups and downs but in the end it makes better, not bitter, on handling problems. well, it's because i have a great God that always supports me all the time. last sunday, Ps. Jose Carol taught me a great lesson about a healthy self image on JPCC second service. There's so many things i want to share with you but you can buy the sermon on benih.com so you won't be misunderstood about the teaching. haha. the quotes that i remember the most is this one:

a healthy self image is not about denying your condition. it's about being true to yourself. and what matters the most for you should be what God thinks about you, not what others do or you do.

how many of us that been called as stupid, moron, geek, slut, fat, nigger, jocks, etc? people judge everyday and most of them shout their judgement to you, whether you'll like it or not. and their judgement becomes our identity to them. when you're obese, when i say obese it means your body fat threatens your health, not that kind of i-am-thin-but-i'm-gonna-tell-everyone-i'm-fat obese, people call you names. when you're smart and use glasses, people call you names. when you're being active in you religion community, people call you names. whatever you do, right or wrong, people call you names. but now, the question is: will you agree on their opinion?

if you're gonna let others tell you who you are and you want to be what they tell you are, ask God who you are. you might be surprised on how valuable you are on God's eyes. look on Isaiah 43:4. He even let Jesus Christ died for you, so there should be no reason for you to moaning and having the no-one-loves-me thought.

now, everytime a bully comes in your way and call you names, this might be your answer:

someday i'll be big enough so you can't hit me and all you're ever gonna be is mean.

hahaha, no, no, that shoul not be the best answer. when a bully comes in your way, just smile, put your headset on, and listen to your favourite song. what a bully say should never be important to you!

well, have a great day!

last slice of pizza

my last slice of pizza.

super supreme, extra cheese.

with so many bitterness on top of it.

my last slice of pizza.

super supreme, extra chilli.

and two cans of cold lies.

my last slice of pizza.

super supreme, no onion.

and add some loneliness with it.

my last slice of pizza.

it's used to be yours.

but here i am,

with my last slice of pizza.

segelas kekosongan

pagi.

jika cahaya berarti pagi, maka hari ini pagi.

sepi.

jika diam berarti sepi, maka hati ini sepi.

mati.

jika kosong berarti mati, maka hati ini mati.

petang.

jika lelah berarti petang, maka waktu ini petang.

matang.

jika lama berarti matang, maka cinta ini matang.

datang.

jika tinggal berarti datang, maka cinta sudah datang.

malam.

jika gelap berarti malam, maka saat ini malam.

kelam.

jika parah berarti kelam, maka luka ini kelam.

dalam.

jika serius berarti dalam, maka luka ini dalam.

hilang.

pergi.

tarik napas.

buang.

senyum.

sakit itu masih terasa.

break

hey, readers.

it's been ages since the last time i wrote here but here's the good news: i'm back to stay. yup, i promise i will post things more often!

just a little catch up for today.

so, i've been thinking a lot about... me.

not the usual thinking i did like what would i be, what should i do. but now i'm thinking about: how do i start, what's next. yes, people. finally, imanuel christo has decided to do some bigger things.

some people say that planning is half the work and i was trapped in that paradigm for years. i spent a lot of times thinking and thinking and end up doing nothing because i saw so many failures that could happen. yeah well, i was like that.

but sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways.

you have to stop blaming others for your mood swing.

you have to stop complaining God when things don't go as you plan.

you have to stop thinking and just doing your things.

you have to give yourself a break and start the first step right now.

if you want to be a writer, get your lazy ass off the couch and start writing!

if you want to be a singer, you have to start singing!

just do the baby steps. it only hurts for the first but the next step is gonna be easier.

okay, write to you real soon!