Chapter Five.
Page 149 of 365.
Okay, Now What?
You're waiting for your whole life for this moment.
You're working your ass off to be in this position.
All the hard work, all the sweat, and all the tear.
You finally got what you're longing for.
...
Okay, now what?
Well, it doesn't feel like it.
It doesn't feel like what you thought it would feel.
Umm, okay, this is weird.
Now you are already at the top of the world.
Being a winner.
Wearing the victor's crown.
An undefeatable champion.
So, now what?
Hey, you're supposed to know that it's all alone at the top.
But, enjoy the solitude!
Isn't it what you're always praying for?
...
Okay, now what?
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
Blank Pages
Chapter Five.
Page 147 of 365.
Blank Pages.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are not going to be filled with the sweet words, like they used to.
A sweet temptation over a sinful delight.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are wasted, just like the times we had spent on us.
A rubbish on a trash can.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are empty and plain white, just like the way they should be.
A purity lies on a fake feeling.
There are blank pages scarttered all around the floor.
Just as much as the blank pages on my memories of you.
Moving on, moving on.
Page 147 of 365.
Blank Pages.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are not going to be filled with the sweet words, like they used to.
A sweet temptation over a sinful delight.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are wasted, just like the times we had spent on us.
A rubbish on a trash can.
There are blank pages scattered all around the floor.
They are empty and plain white, just like the way they should be.
A purity lies on a fake feeling.
There are blank pages scarttered all around the floor.
Just as much as the blank pages on my memories of you.
Moving on, moving on.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Accepted and Ignored
Chapter Five.
Page 144 of 365.
Accepted and Ignored.
May 24th. 2013.
Accepted.
But i know i will be ignored.
It's not the first time i feel hurt like this.
It's my fault.
Sorry.
Page 144 of 365.
Accepted and Ignored.
May 24th. 2013.
Accepted.
But i know i will be ignored.
It's not the first time i feel hurt like this.
It's my fault.
Sorry.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Yes and No
Chapter Five.
Page 142 of 365.
Yes and No.
Time goes by.
So slowly.
Only for those who wait, you say.
But, am i waiting for something?
Yes and No.
Yes, because i'm kind of wanting that something would happen.
No, because i really don't know what to expect.
You only scared to be hurt, you say.
Am i really scared to be hurt?
Yes and No.
Yes, because it's naturally a human being instinct to be safe.
No, because.. I mean, look at me, wanting you all this time. Nothing will hurt me more.
You are confusing dreams with love, you say.
Am i confusing myself?
Yes and No.
Yes, because somehow now i realize that you're right.
No, because i know that they're not just dreams.
So, basically you're just in love. With me.
Yes.
Page 142 of 365.
Yes and No.
Time goes by.
So slowly.
Only for those who wait, you say.
But, am i waiting for something?
Yes and No.
Yes, because i'm kind of wanting that something would happen.
No, because i really don't know what to expect.
You only scared to be hurt, you say.
Am i really scared to be hurt?
Yes and No.
Yes, because it's naturally a human being instinct to be safe.
No, because.. I mean, look at me, wanting you all this time. Nothing will hurt me more.
You are confusing dreams with love, you say.
Am i confusing myself?
Yes and No.
Yes, because somehow now i realize that you're right.
No, because i know that they're not just dreams.
So, basically you're just in love. With me.
Yes.
Monday, May 13, 2013
It's 5:18 and I'm Late!
Chapter Five.
Page 133 of 365.
5:18.
What time is it?
I'm late!
This is not what i have planned since midnight.
When it's 5:18, i shouldn't still be here in my room.
I should have been gone to the real world,
Working out my ass off like others.
I'm late!
How could i be so lazy?
Others have started their day earlier than me.
This is not right and i have to punish myself for being so lazy.
But not now, because i'm running out of time!
I'm late!
Okay, but where do i go from here?
Another stupidity.
I should have figured it out since midnight.
Look at them, who run surely to somewhere without any doubts about where they are heading.
Why can i be so stupid?
I'm late!
It's already 5:18 and i'm late!
I'm still late.
And i still don't know where i'm going.
I don't have any time to figure it out.
I'm already late!
Page 133 of 365.
5:18.
What time is it?
I'm late!
This is not what i have planned since midnight.
When it's 5:18, i shouldn't still be here in my room.
I should have been gone to the real world,
Working out my ass off like others.
I'm late!
How could i be so lazy?
Others have started their day earlier than me.
This is not right and i have to punish myself for being so lazy.
But not now, because i'm running out of time!
I'm late!
Okay, but where do i go from here?
Another stupidity.
I should have figured it out since midnight.
Look at them, who run surely to somewhere without any doubts about where they are heading.
Why can i be so stupid?
I'm late!
It's already 5:18 and i'm late!
I'm still late.
And i still don't know where i'm going.
I don't have any time to figure it out.
I'm already late!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
For The Fairest
Chapter Five.
Page 128 of 365.
For The Fairest.
A smile, for the fairest.
Sincerely presented when you were introducing me to your loved one.
Patheticly made up to pretend that i'm not hurt at all.
A laugh, for the fairest.
Heartily came out as you were talking to me, only me.
Painfully continued when i realized who you are talking about.
A stare, for the fairest.
Bashfully given from me to you whenever you catch me staring at you.
Filled with jealousy anytime you are holding that hand, not this hand.
A heart, for the fairest.
Carefully wrapped with all my sincerity and tears.
Subtly rejected with your sweetest smile.
A love, for the fairest.
Patiently kept in this pieces of heart.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Puzzled: Calypso's Song.
Chapter Five.
Page 126 of 365.
Puzzled: Calypso's Song.
What's right, what's wrong?
What's good, what's bad?
What's white, what's black?
If being with you is wrong, then i don't wanna be right.
If having you around is bad, then i don't want no good.
If our love is painted black, i will hate white for the rest of my life.
But, i'm not really sure of it.
You are worth fighting for but i don't want to hurt anyone.
You are a beautiful view to my heart but i can't stand seeing you hurt like this.
We make a great couple but you will be greater without me.
I can't help it, i'm addicted to you, my temporary bliss.
I will do anything for you.
I'm throwing away my faith just to call you mine.
I'm betraying God just to hold you close.
But i know it couldn't be like this.
I was designed to be alone.
It was my curse to feel hurt.
I deserve this pain somehow.
But, for once in my life, i claim my happiness before them.
But, is this right?
Screw them, i don't care what's right.
I only care about you.
Page 126 of 365.
Puzzled: Calypso's Song.
What's right, what's wrong?
What's good, what's bad?
What's white, what's black?
If being with you is wrong, then i don't wanna be right.
If having you around is bad, then i don't want no good.
If our love is painted black, i will hate white for the rest of my life.
But, i'm not really sure of it.
You are worth fighting for but i don't want to hurt anyone.
You are a beautiful view to my heart but i can't stand seeing you hurt like this.
We make a great couple but you will be greater without me.
I can't help it, i'm addicted to you, my temporary bliss.
I will do anything for you.
I'm throwing away my faith just to call you mine.
I'm betraying God just to hold you close.
But i know it couldn't be like this.
I was designed to be alone.
It was my curse to feel hurt.
I deserve this pain somehow.
But, for once in my life, i claim my happiness before them.
But, is this right?
Screw them, i don't care what's right.
I only care about you.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
A Secret I Could Never Tell.
Chapter Five.
Page 121 of 365.
A Secret I Could Never Tell.
Life is a mystery.
That's what makes it fun.
Everyday has its own chances to surprise you.
It's up to you, either we want to enjoy it or be discouraged because of its uncertainty.
We all have our own secrets.
The ones that we share it with our best friends.
The ones that we keep it even from our best friends.
And the ones that we keep even from ourselves.
It's fun to have secrets.
You have something to torture you in the middle of the night.
You have something to worry about.
You have something to make you slowly goes insane.
It's fun, isn't it?
Isn't it?
Yeah, sometimes we come to a point where you feel like you have fed up of everything.
And you want to spill out your secrets to the world.
Because you're tired, because you can't hold it any longer.
Because you want them just to understand you.
But it's just impossible.
There's no way everyone could understand you.
There's no way everyone just tap you on the shoulder and accept you for who you are.
People judge, people talk, and people hate.
It isn't unfair.
It's just life.
We have to fake a smile and just pretend that everything is okay.
Because the truth is no one is okay.
So, what's your secret?
Page 121 of 365.
A Secret I Could Never Tell.
Life is a mystery.
That's what makes it fun.
Everyday has its own chances to surprise you.
It's up to you, either we want to enjoy it or be discouraged because of its uncertainty.
We all have our own secrets.
The ones that we share it with our best friends.
The ones that we keep it even from our best friends.
And the ones that we keep even from ourselves.
It's fun to have secrets.
You have something to torture you in the middle of the night.
You have something to worry about.
You have something to make you slowly goes insane.
It's fun, isn't it?
Isn't it?
Yeah, sometimes we come to a point where you feel like you have fed up of everything.
And you want to spill out your secrets to the world.
Because you're tired, because you can't hold it any longer.
Because you want them just to understand you.
But it's just impossible.
There's no way everyone could understand you.
There's no way everyone just tap you on the shoulder and accept you for who you are.
People judge, people talk, and people hate.
It isn't unfair.
It's just life.
We have to fake a smile and just pretend that everything is okay.
Because the truth is no one is okay.
So, what's your secret?
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