Monday, October 29, 2012

mistakenly in love

the day i first met you,
you smiled at me.
there were no sparks or butterfly in my stomach,
everything was plain and all.

the day we first talked,
you made me laugh.
with my silly response to your jokes,
everything was funny.

the day you first called me,
i was surprised.
you told me you were waiting outside my door,
everything turned sweeter than ever.

the day day you first said love to me,
i was shocked.
i never thought i would be mistakenly in love.
everything was good but that's that.

the day you first ignored my calls,
you were hurt.
you told me you didn't wanna meet me again,
everything ended that day.

it was amazing and all.
but we were not supposed be mistakenly in love.
everything was good.
But that's that.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

continue?

hello, hello..

pernah main games di timezone kan? dulu mainnya kan masukin koin tapi sekarang kebanyakan udah pakai kartu magnetik gitu yaa.. anyway, pokoknya, kalo kita main ke tempat main games such as timezone gitu dan kita main time crisis, misalnya.. biasanya kalo kita kalah dalam satu turn permainan kita, akan ada pertanyaan dengan suara mesin: "continue?" dan kalo kita masukin koin lagi atau swipe the card, permainan akan berlanjut lagi ke level berikutnya. got what i mean?

i suddenly remembered that moment, my 'continue?' moment. dulu waktu sd sampai sekitar smp, gue sering banget main ke timezone atau fun city (do you guys even know what fun city is? well it's like timezone but it went bankrupt or something). dan permainan yang suka gue mainin adalah time crisis, permainan tembak tembakan itu. well, actually, i'm kinda good at the game tapi sepandai - pandainya tupai melompat, pasti jatuh juga. dan sepandai - pandainya gue bermain time crisis, pasti akan ada saatnya nyawa gue abis dan pertanyaan dengan suara mesin itu pun keluar: continue?

setelah keluar pertanyaan itu, biasanya akan ada count down 20 detik. di 20 detik itulah, biasanya gue berpikir keras apakah gue akan masukin koin lagi atau berhenti. atau apakah gue akan beli koin lagi, jika gue udah kehabisan koin. biasanya selama gue masih ada koin, gue akan terusin mainnya. yang cukup sulit adalah kalo gue udah kehabisan koin tapi level gue udah lumayan tinggi jadi rasanya sayang buat gak diterusin. nah, kalo kaya begitu, gue akan lari secepetnya ke kasir, tuker coin, dan berharap belum telat untuk lanjutin games yang tertunda tadi. kadang, ketika gue balik ke mesin gamesnya, ternyata ada yang udah main di tempat gue. malah, sempet beberapa kali ada yang terusin games gue (agak kurang sopan nih sebenernya.. gue udah susah susah malah dilanjutin dia..). well, that's life.

dan kata siapa kita gak bisa belajar dari hal remeh macam permainan ding dong ini?

i learned a lot from this game. well, i didn't realize that i'm gonna learning something at that time tapi sekarang gue melihat banyak hal yang bisa jadi pembelajaran di kehidupan gue sekarang.

ya, hidup itu ibaratnya kita main games ding dong itu. ketika kita mulai, kita masukin koin sebagai syarat bisa mulai permainannya dan kita aka put our best efforts biar koin itu gak sia sia.. but sometimes, no matter how hard you play, bad things happen and you have to choose whether you wanna continue or not.

like what i said before, it's easier for us to continue the game if we still get what it takes to continue it.. selama kita masih punya 'tiket masuk' ke game kehidupan itu, kita pasti akan langsung lanjutin aja game itu tanpa pikir panjang lagi.

yang sulit adalah ketika kita gak punya 'koin' untuk continue the game. mungkin beberapa dari kita will be in a rush to get the coin and play it again because they think they already spent a lot in the game. ada juga mungkin yang nyerah dan cari game baru untuk dimainkan..

gue biasanya adalah tipikal orang yang bertindak cepat dalam mengambil keputusan. bukan gegabah tapi gue rasa gue udah tau sampai batas mana kemampuan gue sebenernya. kalo gue pikir gue emang bisa , akan gue lanjutkan. tapi kalo gue gak bisa, gue akan stop dan lanjut main games lain.

ya, gue biasanya seperti itu.

tapi akhirnya gue mendapatkan momen 'continue?' gue yang membingungkan.. ini seperti main games baru dan lu kalah di level awal. ada sisi gue yang mau coba terus walau gue tau game ini susah tapi ada sisi gue yang mau nyerah dan pilih stick to the status quo. and how do i decide?

mungkin kalian juga pernah mengalami hal yang sama kayak gue. harus memilih antara dua pilihan yang sama sama 'putih'. bukan pilihan yang hitam (salah) atau putih (benar). dua opsi yang kalian punya sama sama benar, gak ada yang salah. disinilah 'continue?' momen menjadi menarik..

mostly, people will stick to the option that they feel comfort about. kita cenderung akan memilih untuk tidak berubah daripada berubah. comfort zone, zona 'aman' yang sebenernya sangat berbahaya karena ketidakberbahayaan ini, selalu menjadi preferences utama.

tapi apakah pilihan yang kita buat memang tepat? sometimes, i feel like regretting some choices i've made. but then it got me thinking: what i am today was made from who i was yesterday AND what i want to be tomorrow.

kadang kita terlalu ribet dalam berpikir tentang hidup sampai melewatkan esensi hidup yang sesungguhnya yaitu: moving forward. yes, hidup itu selalu dikerjakan ke depan. layaknya kita sedang nyetir mobil, masa lalu kita yang terlihat di kaca spion akan semakin tidak berpengaruh kalo kita maju semakin cepat.

ngaku deh. we made some stupid mistakes, some by accident, some by choice. but what matters now is what are you gonna do to make things better?

kadang kita terlalu berpikir tentang masa lalu ketika 'continue?' moment kita terjadi. be more like a child.
anak anak yang bermain game dan mendapat momen 'continue?' biasanya berpikiran untuk segera get in the game lagi bukan karena sudah pernah get in the game. am i making any sense?

just sharing my thoughts, people.
good night.


red dot and blue line

once upon a time, there was a little red dot.

like every other red dots, this little red dot was hated by everyone.
'red dots are the same,' they said. 'whenever they come, something bad's happening.'

this little red dot was trying to smile and pretending that she didn't hurt at all.
she was good at pretending.

but when she was alone, she broke down and cried.
every single night.
her pillow was wet with tears.


day passed by, seasons changed.
the little red dot was grown up to a red dot.

she looked much stronger than the little red dot she was used to be.
only looked stronger, only looked.
her pillow was still wet with her tears.


then, she met a blue line all of sudden.
no plans.
just a coincidence.

everyone was telling the blue line to avoid the red dot.

'red dots are the same,' they said. 'whenever they come, something bad's happening.'

the blue line was a good line.
he never judged a dot by what others said.
he never cared.


the red dot felt some strange feelings whenever the blue line was around.
the blue line was getting more important for her.
the red dot was happy.

the blue line knew the red dot.
period.
he never cared.


then the red dot started to her senses.
she felt that the feelings was unrequited.
she went home.
her pillow was still wet.